Pocketful of Mojo
Pocketful of Mojo
Your Energy - How to Spend it Like You Mean it!
Imagine waking up each morning with $1,000 worth of energy to spend. By noon, you're broke—and somehow, none of it went toward what truly matters to you. Sound familiar?
In this eye-opening episode, we dive deep into the concept of your "energy budget" and how recovering people pleasers unconsciously bankrupt themselves by saying yes to everyone else's priorities. I'll show you exactly how hustle culture has conditioned us to measure our worth by productivity, leaving us exhausted, resentful, and disconnected from our own desires.
The game-changer? The 3-2-1 Formula for energy management. This simple but powerful approach transforms your overwhelming to-do list into a strategic plan that puts YOU back on the agenda. You'll learn how to identify your three must-dos (things that actually move the needle), two nice-to-dos (helpful but not urgent), and one non-negotiable joy activity (because that's fuel, not fluff).
For those who've spent years filtering decisions through others' needs, I address the blank stare that comes when asked "what do you want?" With practical exercises and permission to start small, you'll begin reconnecting with your authentic preferences after years of putting them on mute.
This isn't about becoming selfish—it's about becoming intentional. When you treat your energy like the CEO of your life rather than the intern, you show up more powerfully for everyone around you. Because living in alignment doesn't take more energy than living out of alignment—it actually leaves you with a surplus.
Ready to stop running your life like a clearance sale and start treating your energy like the valuable resource it is? Listen now, and let's put you back in charge of your own energy budget.
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Well hello gorgeous. Welcome back to Pocket Full of Mojo, the podcast for people pleasers, where you come to stop over giving and start living. And I show you how. I'm Steph. I'm your favorite mojo maven. And today we're gonna talk about one pretty juicy topic, and that is your energy budget. Yeah, you heard me. Because energy is currency, and if you don't spend it with intention, babe, it'll be gone before you even realize where it went. And no offense, but target runs and answering emails at midnight, not exactly luxury purchases. So before we dig deep into the economics of energy, let's start the way we always do, with a deep breath, shoulders back, and get ready for some mojo, because we're here to get tuned in, tapped in, and turned on. Let's play a little game. Let's pretend that your energy is money. Every morning you wake up with a set budget, like$1,000, and you've got 24 hours to spend it. And you've got the very important job of deciding how you're gonna spend it. Well, let's see. Do you want to be stressing about what people think of you? That'll be$500. A meeting that could have been an email with a coupon, that'll be$300. Folding laundry, not because it won't be there tomorrow, just because someone might judge you if it sits unfolded. Yeah, that's gonna set you back$200. Well, what do you know? In the blink of an eye, you broke. And guess what? None of it went towards you. Ew, growth. So let's have a look behind door number two. What if you started treating your energy like the most valuable currency in your life? What if you actually built a budget, set some limits, and invested in the things that light you up? Like, I don't know, as if your life depended on it? Well, that's what today is all about. You've already learned that busy is not a personality trait. We covered that last week. And if you want, this is a great moment to pause and go back and listen now, or save it for the next episode that you listen to, whatever. But now it's time to figure out how to reclaim your energy, set some priorities, and get yourself back on the agenda. Easier said than done. Okay, maybe till now, but I got you. Together we can hold hands and remember that this is all made up, and you're more in charge than you think. So let's have a look. Because here's the truth. And it's a wicked truth, and it took me a really long time to wrap my recovering people pleasing head around it. Here's the tea, my friends, and it's something that I have to check myself on all of the time. And it's this not everything on your to-do list matters. I know, I know. Recovering people pleasers, they feel like all of it matters. But let's be honest, half of that list is people pleasing clutter. I once worked with a client who had a to-do list so long, she admitted she sometimes added things that she'd already done just so that she could cross them off. You've done it too. And when I asked her which items were actually important to her life and goals, she she froze because she'd never thought about it that way. So here's your filter, your measurement, your your tool that you're gonna use when you're looking over your to-do list. You start with this. If it doesn't move you closer to your values, your goals, your peace, it's probably not as important as you think. Still not convinced? Try this. Write down your to-do list, all that stuff running around your head, just do a big old brain dump. And then highlight the three things that will actually move the needle this week. Boom. Those are your priorities. Literally everything else on that list, that's a nice to-do, not a need to do. And when you highlight those things, it's more than just urgency. It's a lighthouse that's pointing your energy towards investments in your time that are actually going to give you a return or maybe even a boost. Now, before we go any further, let's zoom out for a second because I want you to see something bigger at play here. This pressure that you feel to do more, to stay busy, to hustle like your worth depends on it, it's not just you. You're not alone. It is baked into the system that we live in. From the time we were kids, we were praised for being productive and helpful and accommodating. Such a good little helper. Gold stars for staying late, extra credit for volunteering, applause and love for being the reliable one. And now, that conditioning has matured and it's cured into hustle culture. This toxic little voice that tells you that rest is lazy, saying no is selfish, and that if you're not constantly busy, then you must be falling behind. But here's what I've learned, my friend. That system was never designed to protect your well-being. Hustle culture thrives on you forgetting about you so it can keep you producing and serving and pouring out of this finite cup. It feeds on pee because we're already wired to measure our worth by how useful we are to other people. And when you mix that wiring with a system that glorifies burnout, boom, you've got a recipe for exhaustion on repeat. Okay, cool, Steph. How do we unpack that? Well, you know, first we got to name it for what it is. It's conditioning. It's not truth. It's not forever, it's not your actual identity. It's a learned pattern. And the beautiful thing about a pattern, and it's the secret they don't want you to know, is that patterns can be unlearned. And it starts with catching yourself in the act. That's where that's why I keep harping on about awareness. When you're tuned in and you say yes to something you don't want to do out of habit, just catch yourself with that awareness. Pause, ask, whose voice is this? Is this mine? Or is this hustle culture whispering that my value comes from always doing more? Is there someone else that can do it? Does it need to be done right now? Does it need to be done by me? Am I the only one with the unique set of skills to do this or that? And then you can redirect. And if the old instinct is do more, your new instinct can be do what matters. Instead of asking, how much can I get done today? You can ask, what's the one thing I can do that moves me forward in a way that actually fuels me. Imagine how much your life would change if you did that once a week. You'll be shocked at how much lighter your days feel when you swap hustle for focus. And let me tell you, redirecting this energy is not about doing less for the sake of laziness. It's about doing better. It's about putting your power into things that align with your values and your goals and your joy. Yamojo. Because when you consciously stop feeding the hustle culture, you start eventually fueling your own culture. And it may take a bit to figure out what that is, but that's part of the fun. Imagine a life where the energy actually works for you. Because here's a fun fact: no one's keeping track. So this is your call to action to put yourself back in top spot. So here's a quick exercise to try. And don't overthink it, just let it flow. I want you to grab a piece of paper or open the notes app on your phone. And at the top, just write, where did I learn that being busy equals being vulnerable? And then just jot down whatever comes up. Teachers, parents, your workplace, maybe even your friendships. Just blh, get it all out. Then you're going to make a second list. Ooh, I do love a good list. What actually makes me valuable? And this is the part where you reclaim your truth. You expose yourself to these truths about your value. Maybe it's your creativity, your kindness, your grit, your humor, your vision, your compassion, your talent. None of those things require you to run yourself into the ground. And then finally, draw a line between the two lists and write in big bold letters, I choose this side. That's your pivot point. That's how you stop feeding hustle culture and start investing in you. It's a choice. So let's have a quick look at what a healthy to-do list looks like. Because here's the truth most people pleasers treat their to-do list like a hostage situation. It's endless, it's overwhelming, it's stacked with stuff that proves your goodness to everyone else. And that's probably why you're exhausted and still feeling like you didn't do enough. And a healthy to-do list, it's not a punishment, it's a strategy, right? It doesn't just track what you owe the world. An empowered to-do list really reflects back to you what actually matters whilst feeding thine mojo at the same time. Think of it like this: your list should be a menu of how you're going to spend your energy today. And just like a menu, you don't need to order everything. I know, I know, it's tempting. So we're going to apply a formula. And we do love a system. And the 3-2-1 formula is designed to keep you, first of all, on track. It's like a built-in accountability buddy. And it helps you stay focused away from the overwhelm because that's the stuff that leads us into paralysis or feeds your Sunday scaries, you know? So this formula, starting off, it's called the 3-2-1 formula. So we start off with the big stuff. Start with the stuff that's the most important to you. Because if you leave that for the end of the day, you're going to run out of time, run out of energy, and run out of motivation. So flip it, put the most important things at the top, and there's three of them. These are things that if nothing else gets done, you still feel like your day mattered. Mattered to who? Mattered to you, you cutie patootie. You're the one in charge here. So, so as a recovering people pleaser, we just shift a little bit. So we're going to prep for tomorrow's presentation instead of getting lost in everyone else's urgent emails that just suck your time, making them feel better. And this way you can go into the presentation confident and feeling ready. Or maybe it's prioritizing those 30 minutes of exercise, some yoga, some stretching, because your body has to get you through whatever the other missions are. Or maybe it's doing a small thing that feels like a big thing, like calling the doctor or the dentist or that thing that you've been putting off for months. And a good call out here is that the big stuff sometimes doesn't have to take a lot of time, but they should be a reflection of what's going on for you and what moves you forward, even if that means standing still for a minute. So then we move on to two nice to-dos. These are helpful, but they're not life or death. So these are the bonus points, the gold stars. The nice to have, but if they slide till tomorrow, the world won't implode. So this is where that folding the pile of laundry that's bugging you across the room, organizing your inbox a little bit, running an errand that you've been putting off. So, like notice how none of these are glamorous. They're just tidy-ups for your brain space. Because if they don't happen, you're still winning, but you feel better when you do them. It kind of gets the monkey off your back. That's what these ones are. And then the one is the non-negotiable. This is the joy to do. This is where recovering people pleasers usually fall off. They think that joy is an extra. Well, spoiler, it's not. Because without joy, your list is incomplete. So maybe that's just journaling for 10 minutes, or dancing it out to your favorite song in the kitchen, or watching an episode of that show that you've been saving for later. But the joy to-do list is not dessert. It is part of the meal. It is the vegetables on your plate. It gives you energy, it gives you nourishment. It is fuel, not fluff. And if anybody feels differently, come talk to me about it. Because if we were to compare that list with like a people pleaser to-do list, we're answering texts within five minutes because we don't want people to think that we're ignoring them. We're baking school bake sale cookies, even though we're having a little menti bee every time we bake because we end up earning the cookies because we're multitasking with other chores and then the oven is on fire, and then it's fine. And then we say yes to covering for Susan at work because saying no, well, that's way harder than actually doing the work. And then we have to redo the PowerPoint presentation because you're worried it's not perfect, and then we stay up late folding towels so that nobody thinks that you're lazy. Oh yeah, and then I gotta drink some water. But coffee counts, right? Now look, my sweet friends, this list, it's it's not great. It's exhausting, it's chaotic. And notice how you barely exist on it. And unless you're training for the great British Bay Cough or some kind of laundry Olympics, I can't find anything on that list that would spark any kind of joy or refuel you or help your dreams come true, unless I missed something. So let's have another look at a healthy to-do list and see what the difference is. So with a 32-1 method, we prep the presentation, we get our little 30-minute power walk in, and we book the dentist appointment. We folded some laundry, we replied to those three emails that came in yesterday, and then we finished the day reading a chapter of a novel before bed. Clear, focused, achievable, and ta-da! You're actually on the list. And if there's a voice in your head right now saying, Yeah, but while I'm doing all these nice things, the world is burning down around me. Oh yeah, I dare you to prove that. Prove me wrong, my friend. Because the key to remember here is this your to-do list is not proof of your worth. It's a roadmap for how you're choosing to spend your limited energy. So when you look at your list, you can ask yourself, does it serve my goals or just someone else's agenda? Do I even have an agenda? Does it leave some space for me, or does it erase me? Does it move me closer to who I want to be, or does it just keep me busy so I don't even have time to think about what my goals might be? And here's the part nobody likes. Life will absolutely mess with your plans. Kids get sick, cars break down, bosses drop last-minute request bombs on you like you've got nothing else going on. Or maybe today is the day the dishwasher decides to flood your kitchen. Ugh, heaven forbid, that's the worst. But for recovering people pleasers, live or die by the list makers, like this is the moment the panic sets in because your instinct is to scramble, to say yes to everyone, to abandon your own needs first. So this is your reminder that grace is your superpower. It's available to you at any time. So when things don't go according to plan, don't ditch the whole energy budget. Just reallocate. Shift things around a bit. So maybe you plan to spend an hour at the gym. Self-care. Yay. But your kid needed homework help. Okay, maybe tonight we're just gonna do a little 15-minute stretch while the pasta's boiling. Because energy invested in you doesn't have to be all or nothing. The all or nothing mindset is the one thing that held me back in so many ways for so long. And it still trips me up. But this simple mindset shift can totally change the game if you let it. So, what I like to do is I like to have a little flex list. This is the backup plan. This is the list of like small low lift actions that I can do when life blows up. A quick walk, a dance party. Like I wanted to go to the park and go on a nice long hike, but maybe something happens and I can just walk around the bay. And that way, when chaos hits, you still get to invest in yourself. When life blows up, it's not your chance to quit. It's your chance to do things differently. And in order to do all this, you really got to know what you want. And for some people, some of us recovering people pleasers, this can be really tricky because you spent so long tuning in and getting really good at tuning into what other people want. And you might not even know what you want anymore. Like this one time I asked a client, What do you want? And she stared at me like I'd asked her to solve quantum physics, like because she just honestly didn't know. She knew what her partner wanted, what her boss wanted, what her kids wanted, but no one had really asked her this before. And I recognized this look because as I was in the process of unraveling my inner people pleaser, I was really struck by how little I knew about what I actually wanted and liked, whether it was life or work or what I wanted for dinner, like it was all very puzzling. And when you start to pull that thread, it can feel a bit overwhelming, but buckle up, buttercup, because this is the fun part. And you don't need to eat the whole elephant at once. So if you get stuck in the overwhelm of where to start, well, my advice is to start small. You just got to ask yourself a few little questions, like, what lights me up? What was I doing the last time that I was like beaming? You know? You can just close your eyes and picture it that last time that you felt that mojo engaged and you were thriving, even if it was just for a minute. What were you doing? And this may not be exactly the thing that you want to pursue, but it acts kind of like a clue and it'll start nudging you in the right direction. The second thing you can ask is, what do I miss doing? What is that one thing that's fallen off your plate that you'd love to get back if only you had the time? Oh, wait, that's right. You're in charge. So how can we get you back doing that thing that you do? Is it the book club? Is it the bingo night? What is it? And then the third thing is what feels like fuel instead of a chore? And I'm sure you could write a list of a hundred items of the things that drain you. All right. So you have the capacity. And it may take some time to drum up a list of things that you could do all day. And it doesn't have to be a hundred things, but remember that there are no rules here. It's just a list. So give yourself permission, start writing, and let your imagination start to wander and you'll be tickled with what comes up. And that's a mojo promise right there. And as you're answering these three questions, here's a quick tip. Use the hell yes rule. If it's not a hell yes, it's a maybe. And maybes don't make the list. Because your energy, she's not unlimited. You don't get to roll over minutes. If you blow it all on things that don't matter, you will stay broke, resentful, and exhausted. But if you budget wisely, you will start to feel rich in time and peace and joy. Like imagine your energy like a closet. You've got space for a few fabulous outfits with pockets, obviously, but instead you've been stuffing your closet with everyone else's ugly sweaters on cheap hangers. No wonder you can't find anything that feels good. So choose the upgrade. Clear out the clutter and choose what fits your life now. And here's the mindset shift I really want you to let sink in. That you are not a supporting character in everyone else's storyline. You're the lead in your own damn show. And if you don't step into that role, someone else will happily cast you in theirs, probably as the unpaid assistant or the emotional babysitter or the 24-7 fixer. And I know you because I was you. And you'll play that role until you're running on fumes and wondering why you're so exhausted and why no one seems to notice how much you're doing. So this is where the energy budget comes in. When you look at your life like a budget, you realize you don't have endless resources to throw around. And you can stop running around and putting everyone else's fires out and start fueling your own flame. And that's not selfish. That's powerful. Think about it. If you let anyone and everyone swipe your energy like it's an unlimited credit card, you're gonna end up in debt. Emotional debt, physical debt, spiritual debt. And who's paying that bill? You. Always you. So shifting into this mindset means you start making decisions like a CEO and not an intern. And a CEO doesn't approve every random request that comes across their desk. They weigh it against the vision, the mission, the goals, the long-term health of the company. That's what I want for you. Because here's the kicker. When you live like the CEO of your own energy, you're not just stronger for yourself, you become magnetic for other people. You show up more present, more powerful, more impactful. And funny enough, the right people, the ones who see you and respect you, they don't just survive when you stop saying yes to everything. They thrive because you finally show up as the fullest version of yourself. And that's the gift of this mindset. You stop living like a human vending machine for other people's needs, and you start living like a whole, vibrant human who actually matters. And you do matter your priorities, your rest, your joy, your voice, it all matters. Because you get to pick the version of yourself you want to be. And that's the power of this shift. The first version of you is running life like a clearance sale, just like handing out energy to anybody who asks. But this second version, that's you running a thriving business on purpose, with intention, with enough left in the tank to enjoy it. Because living in alignment doesn't take any more energy than living out of alignment. In fact, it actually leaves you with a balance at the end of the day. So here's your pocket full of mojo for today. Your energy budget is yours, nobody else's. You get to decide how to spend it. So this week I want you to write down your to-do list, cut it down to three must-do's, two nice to-dos, and one joy to do, and then practice some grace when things go sideways. And use that flux list. And above all, ask yourself, what do I really want? Not what they want, what you want. All right, I want to take a bit of a detour here and highlight something that might be coming up for you if you're deep into the people pleasing. Let's talk about the conundrum, the one that hits every recovering people pleaser right in the gut. And that's that you finally give yourself permission to ask the question, what do I want? A blank stare at the wall. It feels weird, kind of scary. Like you should probably have an answer, and why you you just don't. Because here's the truth. If you've spent years or decades filtering your decisions through what other people need, want, and expect, it's not shocking that you don't have an instant answer when it's finally about you. And let me say this super clearly: not knowing right away does not mean that you're broken. It means you haven't been asked. And you haven't asked yourself. Because you've been too busy asking, will they be upset if I say no? Will they like me more if I say yes? What if I have an actual opinion that's not popular? And that's been the playlist. Of course, the what do I want track is gonna sound brand new. So here's how you want to start identifying it. You get curious, and you can just start small. Most people get tripped up because instead of asking these little micro questions, they look for the giant, life-changing answer. What is my purpose? Who am I? But just start small. Like, do I really like watching this show or am I just watching to keep my partner company? What kind of coffee do I actually like? Because I've just been ordering what everybody else orders. When I think about my weekend, do I want to recharge a loan or do I want to live it up with people? And these tiny moments of honesty, they start building the muscle of listening to yourself. And heads up, it's gonna feel awkward at first, almost selfish, like you're breaking some invisible rule or someone's gonna call you out. But that's just the people pleaser conditioning talking. Because awkward is the first stage of freedom, and awkward means you're doing something new, something honest, something that belongs to you. Like, let me give you an example. A friend of mine told me once that for years, every Saturday morning, she made pancakes because her kids loved them. She told herself that she loved them too, until one day her kids were away to sleep over, and she thought, wait a second, do I even like pancakes? She had this chance to not make them, and she was kind of happy about that. And you know what? That was the moment that she realized she did not like pancakes. She loves eggs on toast, but doesn't make it because she'd been eating pancakes on autopilot and never once asking herself if that was her choice. And that moment was such a light bulb for her because it wasn't about pancakes. It was about noticing that her own preferences had been on mute for so long and she didn't even realize it. And that's how it happens. It's rarely one giant aha moment where you suddenly know your deepest life purpose. I mean, that's that's cool when that happens, but it's the small truths that stack on each other day after day until you start to trust your own voice again. So if the question, what do I want, feels like a giant intimidating blank, don't run from it. Just sit with it. Ask it again tomorrow. Let it be uncomfortable for a minute. Because every time you ask, you chip away at the old wiring that taught you that everyone else's priorities matter more than yours. And then slowly but surely the answers are gonna start to come. And every time you find something that you don't want, you're one step closer to finding what you want because it's your time, it's your energy, and it's time to start spending it like you mean it. Because at the end of the day, life isn't about being everyone else's personal assistant, it's about investing your energy where it makes you feel alive. It's your time, it's your energy, and it's time to start spending it like you mean it. All right, let's wrap this up, my friend. Today we broke down the energy budget. It's not just a cute phrase, but it's a mindset shift that changes everything. We talked about how to figure out what actually deserves your energy, what a healthy to-do list looks like, and how to move with grace when life doesn't follow your perfect little plan. Because for reals, when was the last time that happened? Anyway, here's the big takeaway. Your energy is your currency, and how you spend it shapes your life. And every yes you give is an investment, so make damn sure that it's gonna pay you back. And you don't have to overhaul your entire world overnight. Start small, write down three non negoti for tomorrow, and ask yourself what do I want? What matters? And listen, I want to hear from you. So send me a DM or an email and tell me what's the first thing you're putting. On your energy budget this week. I want to celebrate with you because those little shifts, that's where the mojo magic happens. So if this episode gave you an aha moment, or maybe a little kick in the pants, please leave a review wherever you're listening and share it with a friend. Maybe they're stuck in the cycle of giving their time away, or who just needs a little dose of mojo in their life. Because when you share it, you're not just helping them, you're helping me get the mojo out to the world, and that is how we're gonna change the world. So hey, if you're ready to get crystal clear on how you're actually spending your energy, go and take the mojo quiz. It's linked in the show notes and it's quick and it's fun, and it's gonna show you exactly where your energy leaks are hiding and how to plug them. And if you need a little kickstart for that energy budget, do not sleep on getting your mojo gummies because fueling your body and your mind is always a smart investment. So you can grab a link in the show notes for a discount from me to you today. So let's start living like our energy is infinite and start spending it like it matters. Because it does. This has been Pocket Full of Mojo, reminding you you've already got the magic. You just need to use it. That's it for me. Thank you so much for being here. Ciao for now. Love you, bye.
