Pocketful of Mojo
Pocketful of Mojo
Booked, Busy, and Burnt Out (Why it's Not the Flex You Think it is)
When did "busy" become your brand? That exhausted, overwhelmed state we wear like a badge of honor isn't the flex we think it is. In this eye-opening episode, we unpack the uncomfortable truth about our addiction to busyness and why it might be the cheapest status symbol you're carrying.
Busy isn't who you are—it's just what you're doing. As people-pleasers, we've mistaken productivity for self-worth, convincing ourselves that if we're not constantly available and helpful, we're somehow less valuable. But this episode reveals the real cost of that thinking: a backpack full of other people's rocks that leaves us hunched over, staggering under responsibilities that don't even belong to us.
For parents especially, the guilt around wanting "me time" can be overwhelming. But what if protecting that slice of life isn't selfish but essential? What if your kids need to see you rested and pursuing things that light you up? This conversation offers a permission slip to put yourself back on your priority list without apology.
Your energy is currency, and you only get so much to spend each day. Being "in demand" doesn't mean you're in alignment. Just because your calendar is full doesn't mean your soul is. This week's challenge: identify your top three priorities and say no to one thing that doesn't align with them. Because at the end of the day, you're not here to be booked and busy—you're here to be aligned and alive.
Ready to trade busy for something that actually looks good on you? Listen now, grab your Mojo Gummies, and remember: don't be just busy, be fucking you.
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Raise your hand if your default response to how are you is ugh. Busy, yeah, I see you, but let me ask you this Since when did being exhausted become your brand Like? Since when did running on fumes become your flex? Today, we're going to talk about why busy is the cheapest badge of honor you could wear and why it's time to trade it in for something that actually looks good on you. And, fun fact, mojo looks good on everyone, but burnout, yeah, not so much, and it's definitely not the flex that you think it is.
Speaker 1:This is Pocketful of Mojo, the podcast that serves as your antidote to burnout, self-doubt and all that people-pleasing by learning how to pay attention, live with intention and dial into that unstoppable force of nature that you were born to be, and around here we call that mojo. So let's get ready to do what we do. When we want to dial into our mojo, we start with a deep breath and we settle in so we can get tuned in, tapped in and turned on, and turned on. Hey, hey, friend, welcome back to Pocketful of Mojo. This is Steph, your favorite Mojo Maven, and we're here to be real because somewhere along the way we started wearing busy as a badge of honor. And hey, me too. Babe takes one to know one Like if we're not rushing and stressing and juggling and apologizing and over delivering, then somehow we tell ourselves, even subconsciously, that we're not valuable. But here's the real truth Busy isn't who you are, it's what you're doing, it's not your identity and it's certainly not your worth. And I've done the research and turns out it's just a costume.
Speaker 1:Being busy is a noisy, exhausting and uncomfortable costume that we as people pleasers tend to slip into because it makes us look important and useful and needed, and to some of us that means loved, or at least that's what we tell ourselves. I don't know, ask your therapist about it. But that costume, yeah, it's itchy, it doesn't fit right, it's probably polyester and like. The longer you wear it, the more you lose sight of who you really are underneath. And here's a fun fact no one's keeping score. There is no trophy for being best at being super busy. Yeah, no prize, no cash monies. So I'm here to hold your hand and ask you gently why are you killing yourself to make other people's dreams come true when your own dreams are collecting dust on a shelf? Because that's just not cool. Mojo Reno, it's just not cool. But the good news is that, unless you know something I don't you didn't sign a contract that said that you have to put everyone else first for the rest of your life. Like you can stop and shifts can happen and things can change, and that's why you're here. So today we're going to dig into why busy is not a personality trait, why you're so tired of carrying it and that part won't take long, because I mean that shit's heavy and what actually happens when you let other people's priorities become your own. And, of course, I'll leave you with all the mojo you need to start rewriting your own story. Yeah, that's right, I'm saving the best part for the end, because you know my mama didn't raise no fool.
Speaker 1:But first I want to take you back to my yes girl era, because once upon a time I said yes to everything the extra weekend shifts, the bake sale, the friend who needed the last minute ride to the airport at 5 am. I was the go-to girl, the reliable one In my relationships at home, at work Fuck, I was even helping strangers with time and energy that I didn't have. It was out of control, but I was so deep into it that it never even occurred to me to do life any differently, like I'd wrap my whole identity around it. And, yeah, people loved me for it. But here's the kicker they didn't love me for it. So I did what any other human would do. I soaked up all the artificial love and confused my constant busyness with being valuable, no biggity, like if I wasn't spinning. I was scared that people would think I didn't matter and if I wasn't doing something to help them, then how would they know that I love them? And I was constantly filling my calendar with other people's to-do lists because, as it turns out, what I really wanted you ready for it. It was to be seen and appreciated and loved. And who doesn't want that? But where I temporarily fucked up was that I thought that my value came from what I did as opposed to who I was.
Speaker 1:Small shift, massive mojo, because people pleasers equate productivity with self-worth. We mistake being booked and busy with being important and loved. But the reality is that busy and loved are not synonyms. I looked it up and busy makes you tired, but love makes you feel treasured. And busy makes you resentful, not respected. Because if the only reason people value you is what you can do for them, then where does that leave you? Well, let's paint the picture.
Speaker 1:Imagine you're carrying a backpack. It's one of those cute backpacks like the one that you've had your eye on Sturdy straps, all the pockets you could ever want, and you even got it on sale. Now, every time you say yes to someone else's priority, pick up a big old rock and put it in that backpack. Help with a committee, that's another rock Cover for a coworker Rock. Babysit for your sister on your only free Saturday Rock. Before long you're hunched over, staggering, exhausted, kind of bitchy and wondering why life feels so heavy. But here's the worst part that weight doesn't even belong to you. So real talk here.
Speaker 1:When you let other people, no matter how much you love them, dictate your priorities, your life stops being yours. Now do not get it twisted. When the people you love are your priority, that is something that you choose and you dictate how and when you show up for them. But those are your choices and not conditional on your relationship. You want to be mindful that when you treat relationships as transactional, there is a heavy toll on who did what when and for whom. And, sweet jebus, leave that to the accountants. Okay, like, if you love them, just love them Like it's never going to run out. When you take the obligation away, everything gets lighter when it's rooted in love and not like accounting, okay, great.
Speaker 1:Moving on the headline here is that you are in charge, and so the idea of your energy being spent only in one place at a time is great. And when your energy is spent on everyone else and you have nothing that lights you up, hell. You don't even have time to figure out what that is, and I can help you with that. But that's for another episode, because when busy is your default, peace never gets a chance to breathe. Now, quick story break.
Speaker 1:I once had a colleague at Starbucks tell me that she hadn't sat down to drink her coffee while it was hot in like years, not because she was saving lives, but because she was stuck in a loop of fixing everyone else's emergencies. She thought that busyness made her selfless, but really it made her invisible to herself. Plot twist that colleague was me, and it's been about eight years since I left there, and I can tell you there's no statue in my honor, no lore of the hardest working manager or plaque that I can polish for all the extra work that I did over my 15 years there. Yeah, doing well at my job was important to me, but what I didn't understand at the time was that I was shortchanging my life in the bigger picture. When I left Starbucks, I had no idea what I wanted, what my hobbies were, what I liked and, quite frankly, who. I was outside of my job Because I never took the time to ask the question.
Speaker 1:Okay, now I'm just going to pause for a second because I know I have some of you listening that are parents, and I'll be up front I don't have kids, so I'll never claim to know what it feels like to juggle everything that comes with having tiny humans plus careers, plus your households and sports schedules, and somehow still remember your own name. But I've had enough conversations with moms and dads and hear the same thread running through all of them, and that's guilt, and not just any guilt, the guilt of wanting me time. Here's what I've heard parents say to me almost word for word I love my kids, but sometimes I just want one quiet morning where nobody needs me, or I feel bad saying it out loud, but I miss having space for my own dreams. And one friend even said I can't remember the last time I read a book or took a bath or had coffee while it was hot. Does any of this ring a bell?
Speaker 1:Well, here's the thing. I don't need to be a parent to know that parenting is one of the most beautiful and demanding jobs on the planet, but I also believe that it's not supposed to erase you. Wanting time for yourself doesn't mean you love your kids less. It means that you're human. And yet so many parents push their own needs to the very bottom of the list because they think it feels selfish to claim space in a life that's already overflowing. But I'm here to be real with you.
Speaker 1:Running on empty isn't helping anybody. When you're stretched so thin that you're cranky and exhausted and resentful, babe, the whole family feels it, and kids don't just need you to show up. They need you to show up well. They need to see you rested and laughing and pursuing things that light you up, and you doing this for you is actually teaching them how to show up for themselves, because that's how they'll learn the value of their own time and energy when they grow up. Trust me, it took a lot of work to unpack what my mother taught me about pleasing everyone else, but the luggage was much lighter when it came to unpacking what she taught me about self-care, because all of the things that she modeled for me taking care of myself was not one of them, and I don't want you to have to learn this the hard way. You're here to learn the mojo way.
Speaker 1:So, whether you're a parent or not listening right now, let me say this gently but directly Protecting a little slice of me. Time is not indulgent, it is essential. And maybe you don't need hours and hours Sometimes it's 10 minutes with a journal, or a walk around the block without anyone calling your name or, yes, even hiding in the bathroom just to breathe. You're allowed to want that, you're allowed to need that. And while busy might feel inevitable, with kids being lost in, busy doesn't have to be your forever story. You're allowed to take the cape off. You're allowed to be a person as well as a parent.
Speaker 1:So, on that note, let's just keep going and start looking at choosing what's important, because here's the hard truth your life is not an open buffet for anyone to pile their plate on, turns out. You get to decide what matters Not your boss, not your parents, not your best friend, you. And choosing what's important doesn't mean that you're selfish. It means you're strategic. It means you're finally recognizing that your energy is currency and you only get so much to spend each day. It means that you understand that you are in charge of your own life. How bonkers would it be if someone else was in charge of your life? That's bonks. So like, think about this If you don't decide what's important, someone else will, or no one will, and then you're at the whim of what Chance, hope, come on. We can do better. And if you don't create boundaries, someone else is going to bulldoze them before you even know it. And if you don't slow down long enough to choose, busy will choose for you. So your worth isn't how much you can carry, it's in how much clarity you can create.
Speaker 1:Being booked and busy gets praised like it's the ultimate status symbol. Like if you're not rushing from call to call, packing your calendar, juggling deadlines, you must not be doing enough. But I want you to pause for a second and ask yourself booked for what? Busy for who? Because being in demand doesn't mean you're in alignment, and just because you're feeling every hour doesn't mean you're actually feeling your soul. How many times have you said yes, out of guilt or fear or just habit, only to realize later that you had no energy left for what actually mattered to you. How often have you looked at your overflowing calendar and thought this is supposed to mean I've made it so? Why do I feel so drained? That's the trap of the glorified busyness it convinces you that motion is the same as progress and that exhaustion is the same as achievement. But they're not Real.
Speaker 1:Power comes when you flip the script, when booked doesn't mean burned out, but instead means that you've chosen commitments that excite you and stretch you and honor your boundaries. Like busy doesn't mean buried, but instead reflects a life that's filled with things that you actually want more, of, like joy and connection and purpose and presence. That's when your schedule stops feeling like a punishment and starts feeling like a privilege. So here's the challenge Are you living for the check marks on your to-do list or for the moments that truly light you up? Are you chasing approval and productivity or are you creating alignment and abundance? Because, at the end of the day, being busy doesn't make you successful. Being fulfilled does. And that's exactly what we tried to unpack on today's episode the shift from survival mode to soul level alignment. So with that, mojarinos, let's bring it home.
Speaker 1:So I got a little bit of homework for you this week. Write down your top three priorities for the whole week, not the rest of your life. Just take on the week, and I'm not talking about your to-do list, I'm talking about your priorities and everything else optional. Or maybe you want to fill your backpack with someone else's rocks. It's your call. I'm just saying have a look at the old agenda and ask yourself what would this look like if I was in charge, and see what kind of shifts pop up for you.
Speaker 1:It's never too late and there's never a bad time to readjust your priorities so that you are closer to the top of that list. We all know that thoughts become things. So start by just looking at your agenda, see what comes up and start thinking about where you can go from here. So, my friend, here's what we know being busy is not a personality trait and it's not your identity and it's certainly not your brand. You are not here in this life to be booked and busy. You're here to be aligned and alive.
Speaker 1:So here's your call to action this week just say no one time to something that's not in those top three priorities. Protect that little slice of life and that nugget of time like it's gold. Then fill it with something that feeds you, not your job, not your family, not your endless to-do list. You and? If you need a wee tutorial on what that could look like, check out season two, episode two, for more on the art of sending boundaries, because it's always a good time to be reminded of our power. Because here's the truth when you stop letting busy run the show, you start letting joy, peace and actual mojo take the wheel, and those bitches know what's up.
Speaker 1:And for a little extra boost on that journey, do not forget your mojo gummies. They're the sweet reminder that a burst of energy and clarity doesn't come from saying yes to everyone else. It comes from fueling yourself first. You can grab the link in the bio and get 15% off today and get laser focused on your goals and literally everything else that you're working on. So this is where I leave you, my lovely listener. That's your pocket full of mojo for today. Carry it with you, protect it fiercely and spend it on what really matters. So until next time, I need you to stay fabulous and whatever you do, don't be just busy, be fucking you. This has been, steph, your mojo maven. Ciao for now. Love you, bye.
