Pocketful of Mojo
Pocketful of Mojo
People Pleaser Rehab: Awkwardness Edition
Ever caught yourself holding back—not because you didn't want to do something, but because it felt too awkward? That gut-wrenching sensation isn't actually warning you of danger—it's signaling growth.
Awkwardness is the toll we pay to step into our next chapter. For recovering people-pleasers especially, that discomfort feels catastrophic because it represents the death of our familiar, safe selves. But what if that cringe-worthy feeling is actually the doorway to the authentic life you've been craving?
This episode dives deep into recognizing when you're ready for change (hint: if you're exhausted from carrying others' expectations or find yourself envying people who seem comfortable in their own skin, you're there). We explore what breaking through actually feels like—spoiler alert: less like Beyoncé in formation and more like "Bambi on ice, blindfolded." But don't worry! That awkward phase is temporary and necessary.
You'll learn five practical steps to push through discomfort: renaming awkwardness as growth, attempting "micro dares" to build your courage muscle, collecting evidence of your resilience, and finding "expanders"—people who normalize authenticity until you can do it yourself. We also look at icons like Oprah, Lady Gaga, and Brené Brown, all of whom weathered intense awkwardness before emerging into their power.
Remember, confidence doesn't precede awkwardness—it follows it. Your homework: choose one tiny rebellion against your comfort zone this week. Because on the other side of cringe is confidence, and on the other side of confidence is freedom. Your Beyoncé days are coming—but first, embrace being Bambi.
Subscribe now and join our community of people turning awkwardness into their superpower. What tiny act of courage will you try today?
Need help tapping into your Mojo? See ya later brain fog- these gummies are game changers! 15% OFF!
Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.
More Mojo:
Daily Mojo:
Mojo Website:
Music from #Uppbeat
https://uppbeat.io/t/mountaineer/run-away
Okay, real talk. How many times would you say that you've stopped yourself from saying, wearing or doing something, not because you didn't want to, but because it felt awkward? I used to do it all the time and if you're a recovering people, pleaser, awkwardness feels like death and you're not being dramatic. It does feel like death because it is death, but only to the old version of you. But there do be signals, like your whole body goes into red alert abortort mission. Blend in, don't you dare make it weird, because your body and your ego want to hold on to the familiar at all costs. Your desire to change and grow is going to be challenged by the old systems, if it hasn't already, and it's 100% normal, but not undefeatable. So I'm here to share the inside scoop that awkwardness is not the enemy, but it's definitely easier said than done until now, because awkwardness is the toll that you pay to step into your next chapter. It's the tax, and if you can learn to lean into it, if you can stop letting awkwardness hold you back, you're going to unlock a version of yourself that feels more alive, more connected and more you than you've ever been before.
Speaker 1:This is the part where we dial into our inner awesomeness and hunt down that mojo. We know that has been there all along. So if you're in it to win it, let's take a deep breath and get tuned in, tapped in and turned on. Hey friend, welcome back. This is Pocketful of Mojo. This is Steph. That's me, I'm your Mojo Maven, and I'm here to be your emotional Sherpa. Yeah, that's right. I'm here to help you navigate all the thoughts and feelings that come along with tapping into the real you. I know you're working on it and I can be your personal little GPS that helps you get where you're going, because you can do it and I can help.
Speaker 1:And today we are tackling the cringe that comes with the pursuit of personal transformation. You know that ick that pops up when we try to escape the loneliness of people pleasing and we want to show up in the world as our like, real kooky, one of a kind amazing selves. Now look, I know this isn't a hot take and that you've heard this a thousand times before and you're like, yeah, that's great. The secret to life is to not give a fuck. But could someone please tell me how? Well, that's where Mojo Mastery steps in. My friend, you've got this and I've got you.
Speaker 1:So today we're going to reframe the awkwardness. We're going to talk about how you know you're ready for the change, what breaking through actually feels like and, most importantly, how to break through instead of shrinking back. And yeah, I got some juicy examples Famous people, real people, everyday people who leaned in all the way to the cringe and came out thriving Because spoiler, beyonce did not start in formation, she started in, awkward probably, and so did you. So let's go. And yeah, at the beginning it can be awkward, to say the least. And if you've had more than a few spins around the sun, your nervous system has been steadily programmed to help you avoid the awkwardness. So it's totally normal that this prescription kind of sounds like a terrible idea. But I bet you that if you bet on yourself and nudge yourself through some of these activities that we're going to cover today, you're going to see a glow up like you didn't even know it was possible. So hear me out. But I mean, maybe you're right, maybe this isn't for you, maybe you need a little more time in the oven nurturing the place that you are in this phase of your life that you're in, so you can think of it as things to come. But if you are jonesing for some change and you're ready to learn how to step into the new you, well then you're in the right place and this is the right time, because awkwardness, it's just confidence in a training bra. You know, confidence is the end goal here, but if you're waiting to stop cringing before you start living, you're going to be waiting forever.
Speaker 1:So, on that note, let's have a look at the signs that you are ready, and you might be wondering how do I even know I'm ready to break free from the people pleasing. So here are some signs. First, you're exhausted. Okay, you've been carrying other people's expectations and you believe that the whole world wants you at your best all the time. And you believe that the whole world wants you at your best all the time. It's heavy and it's invisible and you're pooped and no amount of sleep seems to take that away. Then this is probably why, or you start noticing that silence feels heavier than honesty.
Speaker 1:And this one is tricky Because at one time, for people pleasers, silence was golden. These vibes were tight, the waters were calm and we could just keep to ourselves, because we're busy tuning into what other people need. But as we pull away from that part of our identity and start having our own opinions. What a novel idea, right? And when we know what our values are and someone breaches these brand spanking new boundaries, we all of a sudden wanna protect our values and take up more space. But it starts with a whisper. The silence gets loud. Your inside voice has something to say and that silence just doesn't feel right anymore. It's kind of cool when you notice it and if you don't say anything in that moment, that's okay, you've noticed it, that's the win.
Speaker 1:You might do something different the next time. Or maybe it's more observational, like you started noticing yourself, envying or really admiring people who you know put themselves out there and own their quirks. And you're, you know, attracted to more people who are really showing up in their own skin, like that girl that you follow on Instagram who's able to just show up day after day, say what's on her mind and be silly and have no makeup and her background is just kind of whatever. And you're like how does she do that? Yeah, that that's your inner, you coveting that confidence and that courage. And that doesn't mean that you have to run out and become an internet star, but that's the thing that might be triggering the signal. You feel a tug, you feel a quiet voice saying wouldn't it be nice if you could just show up that vulnerable and I mean showing up vulnerable can look like a lot of different things, you know, because it's you versus you in your own head.
Speaker 1:So, like I remember, once I wore this outfit that was way bolder than my usual vibe. The dress code to my depression at the time was blacks, grays, sweatpants, dress code for work and then pajamas at home. That was kind of it. So the day that I showed up in this like big, bold, beautiful dress, it was definitely kind of outside my comfort. The day that I showed up in this like big, bold, beautiful dress, it was definitely kind of outside my comfort zone because I'd taken the sewing class and I'd made this dress and it was wild for me. Right, it was a stretch, it was a bright color, a bold pattern. I wore it with mustard yellow shoes super cute. But it made me feel loud and walking out of the house, I swear I felt like I was glowing neon, like everyone was staring, and you know what? Nobody cared, nobody even noticed. Maybe one person said, hey, nice dress.
Speaker 1:But here's what hit me. Most people are too busy worrying about their own outfits or if there's spinach in their teeth to judge mine. Classic people please their brain, thinking the world spotlight's always on you and you're always being measured. And that day taught me something when you start listening to what you want instead of how you look, life gets a little lighter, like think about the last time that you saw someone being fully themselves, like whether it was dancing like a fool at a wedding or showing up in neon green Crocs. Did you secretly admire them? Or maybe it showed up as some quiet envy Babe. That's not judgment, that's your spirit saying it's your turn, which sets us up perfectly to talk about the next part, which is what it feels like.
Speaker 1:But I'm not gonna sugarcoat this Breaking through into your true self doesn't feel like strutting down a runway with wind machines and theme music. I mean, the good news is that eventually it does feel that way. But at first we have to pass through the forest of awkwardness and you'll know you're there and in the game. Because it feels awkward Like jeans out of the dryer tight, stiff, uncomfortable, everything's familiar but just a little bit different. Or like when you cross your arms oops, I just hit the microphone. When you cross your arms and then put the other hand on top, like, and then that feels weird, right, it feels off, and as you're breaking through it can feel lonely at first, because there's going to be a minute where your comfort zone crew might not get it and your new people? Well, you haven't found them yet.
Speaker 1:And this is your reminder to keep going, keep saying yes to opportunities and keep looking for your tribe. And the coolest thing you want to look for is that it kind of feels electric. There's like this hum under your skin saying something's different, something is changing. It's not good or bad, it's a sensation, but you got to listen for it. There's a reason that I open every episode with a reminder to get tuned in, tapped in, turned on, because that's where you find that electric hum, that strut in your step, the smile that you just can't shake. You know it's more than one thing, but it can feel tough when you're in the middle of the forest of awkwardness. Just think of it as the messy middle. And if this is your first time in the forest of awkwardness, I got you, and if you've been here before, then you can testify that there is another side to it. But we will revisit it because we will keep growing and changing. We just won't spend as long there.
Speaker 1:Like I remember, in one of my very first workshops I completely tripped over the entire intro. It was word salad. My face went hot, my cheeks went red and I just thought, oh my God, they're gonna think I'm an imposter. And guess what? Nobody cared and a few people smile and we're like same girl, same, and some even leaned in a bit more because I was being real instead of perfect and I probably said something like sarcastic and silly and kind of broke the ice after that. But I thought that my awkwardness would push people away. But it actually made me more relatable and that's the wild thing.
Speaker 1:Awkwardness is magnetic. Everyone feels it. So when you own it, people connect to you more. So what we know is that awkward is the gateway drug to authenticity. Think of cringe as cardio for your soul. It burns at first, but damn does it build stamina. Think of how untouchable you will feel when you don't give a shit about things that don't matter and you've determined what matters and what doesn't matter because you've figured that out about yourself. And this breaking through it does not feel like Beyonce in full choreography, it feels like Bambi on ice, blindfolded. But Bambi grows up and so will you, okay. So all this red carpet and no show. You're here to learn how to break through. So let's get practical.
Speaker 1:Let's look at how to stop letting awkwardness hold us back. Step one name it, call it what it is. Say this feels awkward because it's new, not because it's wrong, and remember those words and that distinction. Because language matters. You stop labeling these feelings as failure and start rebranding it as growth. This is what growing feels like, and when you change that language, you're not going to feel the resistance like you did before.
Speaker 1:Step two micro dares. I like to call these tiny rebellions. Here's what you do. You just say no to something. Just say to yourself okay, I'm going to say no to something by noon or maybe you've been working on all this inside, glow up and you're ready for the outside to match. So go and wear that outfit that you've been saving for someday and like, go grocery shopping in it, walk around the mall, take yourself out for a drink alone, with no phone. These little nudges set the stage for bigger things. And, like I remember the first time I said no to something that I really didn't want to do, and it wasn't even big, it was like declining a casual invite. But, oh my god, the guilt spiral was super real and I replayed it in my head for hours, waiting for somebody to call me like selfish or ask me a million questions. And you know what happened. Ask me a million questions and you know what happened. Yeah, fucking crickets, nothing. They said, okay, cool, and that was it, End of story. The earth kept spinning and, oh my God, I felt like I could breathe again. But it was awkward at first, but it was 100% worth it.
Speaker 1:So it's not about necessarily going out and becoming a clown. That's not what awkwardness necessarily has to mean. It could just be that sensation of stepping outside of your comfort zone and then, as you're doing this mindfully, you're going to notice how it feels. So you can do it intentionally and get your reps in, and that's step number three. So you can do it intentionally and get your reps in, and that's step number three. You want to build your cringe muscle. Awkwardness is like the gym the more reps you do, the more you pass through the forest of awkwardness. So if the confidence is what you want to greet you on the other side of this forest. You got to lift awkward situations until they feel light. Start with a five pound weight, say hi to a stranger, wear bigger earrings and, you know, work your way up from there.
Speaker 1:And our brains like data when we are rewiring ourselves into a new pattern of thought and new pattern of behavior. So we want to collect evidence. So that's step number four, because the brain loves proof. If you're going to overthink, might as well do it in your own advantage. You're going to write down every awkward moment that you have survived up until now, whether it was that weird presentation or that post that was kind of weird and you didn't really understand it, or that horrible first date, or that time you mispronounced a word newsflash you lived. And then use that evidence to remind yourself that awkwardness won't actually kill you, despite what your nervous system is trying to tell you about it.
Speaker 1:And in step number five, you want to find expanders. These are the people that will create a safe space for you to be you and from the sounds of it, it's not your current circle. Get around people who normalize authenticity. Borrow their bravery until you've built your own. We all need expanders. It's like being around a campfire. You don't have to be the spark. You just have to get close enough to feel the warmth. Courage can be contagious and when applied properly, it can skyrocket your path to being post-cringe. But, steve, I'm more that I try this and nothing changes. Yeah, because you've probably tried a million things already and nothing's really clicked. Well, ask these people if they regret leaning into the awkward Famous people.
Speaker 1:We got Oprah fired from her first TV job. She was told she wasn't a fit for television. Imagine if she let that awkward failure stop her. M'lady Gaga mocked for her costumes like from the get-go. Now she's a celebrated fashion icon, among many other things, for the exact same thing that she was teased for, and she's totally still ripped to shreds all over the place, as much as she is exalted. But does she look like she cares? Or Queen Brene Brown? After her TED talk on vulnerability, she had what she calls a vulnerability hangover and she said it was so bad she had to hide under the bed. But that talk became life-changing for her, and you don't have to have a blue checkmark next to your name to be an everyday hero.
Speaker 1:I'm talking about the woman who finally said I don't drink at a party. Full stop period, no further questions your honor. Or the entrepreneur who launched their shaky first Instagram reel Do it your way, do it messy, but if you're in the game, just do it. Oh, that's a good slogan. I should write that down. Or the guy who went to therapy, despite the short-sighted jokes from his friends and family Dicks, Everybody should have a good therapist.
Speaker 1:Anyway, awkward is the toll booth. Pay it, pass through and get on with your glow up, because you're not here in this life to be Bambi on ice forever. Your Beyonce days are ahead of you if you want them to be. It just takes some practice to get there, because all these people who are living the lives that you wish you had, no matter how good they look, they did not wake up that way. They went through their forest of awkwardness. I guarantee you that. So here's what I want you to take away Awkwardness is not a sign that you are failing.
Speaker 1:It is a sign that you are growing. Every time, you feel that sting of discomfort, that flush of embarrassment, that moment of like oh my God, what do they think? You are standing in the doorway of transformation, which sounds way cooler than oh my god, I'm going to die. So your homework this week is pick one micro dare a tiny rebellion against the old you, something that makes you blush, but not bolt, and then do the thing and then write it down and then collect that evidence and if you're brave, you're going to DM me and you're going to tell me what you did and we can celebrate you, because you're not alone in this. You're just in your brave era, and brave always starts awkward, and brave by definition means that there's a little bit of fear behind it, so it has nothing to do with being ready. So I micro dare you. So I micro dare you. Oh, what do you know? And just like that, you got your very own pocket full of mojo.
Speaker 1:If this episode lit a little fire under your butt, you should share it with a friend. Maybe they're stuck in their comfort zone and need a little nudge, and I don't know. You could leave a review. Helps me get the mojo out there. The world is actually depending on it. And remember, awkwardness isn't there to hold you back, it's there to push you forward. So go out there and be gloriously, magnificently awkward, because on the other side of cringe is your confidence and on the other side of confidence is freedom. Until next time, keep your pocket full of mojo and your awkward dial turned all the way up to 11,. Man, that's it for me. I'm out of here Until next time, my peeps, ciao, for now, love you, mwah.
