Pocketful of Mojo
Pocketful of Mojo
When Transformation Feels Like Vertigo: A Guide to Your New Identity
Ever felt that strange disorientation that comes with personal growth? That moment when you've done the work, made the changes, but suddenly feel like you're wearing someone else's skin? Don't worry—you haven't taken a wrong turn. That wobbly feeling is actually confirmation you're exactly where you need to be.
Breaking up with your old identity is a profound journey that few people talk about. After years of performing roles that kept you safe but small—the people-pleaser, the overachiever, the one who puts everyone else first—stepping into authenticity can feel simultaneously liberating and terrifying. This episode walks you through the four essential phases of this metamorphosis: the release of who you thought you had to be, the vulnerable emergence of your true self, navigating the world through fresh eyes, and the crucial practice of celebrating your evolution.
Through personal stories (including my own transformation from corporate workaholic to "President of Doing Whatever I Want"), we explore how to honor your past self while embracing the new. We dig into the uncomfortable truth that some relationships may shift or fall away as you grow, and why that's not just okay—it's necessary. You'll learn to recognize the difference between "unknown" and "unsafe," how to reframe imposter syndrome, and why those awkward growing pains are actually signs you're getting stronger.
Whether you're in the midst of transformation or sensing change on the horizon, this episode offers a roadmap for the journey ahead. Remember: "I release who I was, I embrace who I am, and I trust who I'm becoming." Your wobbliness will soon become a stride, and then a confident strut—that's mojo in action.
Ready to step fully into your authentic self? Share this episode with someone navigating their own transformation, leave a review to help others find their mojo, and tune in next week when we tackle how to stop letting the awkwardness of life hold you back from its greatest treasures.
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Hey, hey, welcome back to Pocketful of Mojo. Today we're talking about something that a lot of us don't expect when we're on an adventure of maximizing our mojo, and that's the disorienting feeling of living as the new you, the true you, the you that you are after all the change, all the growth, all the transformation. Because, let me tell you, it's amazing, but it can be a bit disorienting, and that could be enough to make you feel like you're in the wrong spot. But you're not. So, being the Mojo Maven that I am, I wanted to give you this heads up so that you see it coming. So, fear not, mojorinos, I'm here to help you sort out what the blueprint of all that can look like, from the release to the metamorphosis, to navigating this new self. We're going to tackle it all. So this is the part where we take a deep breath, we get rooted in our best stuff and we get tuned in, tapped in and turned on. Hey, hey, you gorgeous creature. Welcome back to Pocketful of Mojo. How is your mojo? Why are you so pretty? You're shining a little brighter today and it looks good on you, you doing something new. Does it feel a little disorienting to have somebody notice? Well, here's the truth In order to get comfortable with these new ingredients in your identity. Like I don't know confidence, boundaries, self-love, putting yourself first I can tell you that stepping into this new you requires a little bit of release, some letting go of the old to make room for the new.
Speaker 1:So this episode is called how to Break Up with your Old Identity. And yeah, I mean breakup, because for many of us, we've been in this long-term relationship with a version of ourselves that was, quite frankly, surviving and performing and people-pleasing, or shrinking down to fit. And now that we know that we don't got to do that no more, we can finally step into the real you, the authentic you, and it can feel exciting and freeing and also a little discombobulating, like you've slipped into a brand new skin that technically, was yours all along. But it feels like a reveal and it's fresh and it's raw and it's a little bit strange. So that's the sign. That's the sign that it's time to start letting go of who you thought you had to be, and doing this consciously. It just really is a huge release. And you get to release the roles that you performed so well that they almost became second nature.
Speaker 1:So thinking of a life without them is kind of hard at the start, letting go of the version of yourself that was, you know, built around other people's expectations or maybe even your own outdated beliefs of who you should be. And you know how we feel about shooting all over ourselves. No dice Makes me think of the time that I was so attached to my job that I totally lost sight of what was right and what was good for me. And maybe you're here listening and you're going through your own metamorphosis and need a heads up of what to expect after all this transformation, because if you're not paying attention, it can be really disorienting, a little scary and even shock you back to your old ways, just because it feels more familiar and safe. But unknown and unsafe are two different things. So I want to make sure that you're not selling yourself short just because things feel a little off or wobbly, because those feelings are actually indicators that you're on the right track. So we're going to visit the different phases of what this breakup looks like and really take time to define each step. It'll make it a little easier to navigate and you can do all this on your own time. So phase one is the release. Quick story time.
Speaker 1:So, you may or may not know, I worked for Starbucks for a long time and back in 2003, I started at the bottom like literally wrote coffee jockey on the application because I didn't know what a barista was. And over time I had all the roles, all the way up to store manager, and then got promoted and led Central Canada learning team for a while as a senior training specialist, and I was always hungry for that next opportunity or promotion or elevated role. Fuck, I was even applying for jobs in Seattle. Like I said, this job was a big part of my self-image, so if I wanted to be better, I had to do better, right? So, being in Canada, there weren't a ton of roles outside of operations and even fewer opportunities here in Winnipeg. But one of my other taglines is have passport will travel.
Speaker 1:So when a chance to be a district manager in Edmonton came up, I jumped at it. The contract was for three months as an acting district manager and then they would offer me the role if I did well. Well, I didn't just do well, I crushed it. I was kicking ass, taking names, outperforming some of my peers who'd been doing this for a long time. I was running 13 stores. It was chaos, but I was on top of it. Then the contract got extended another three months. Okay, you want me to work harder? Hold my beer.
Speaker 1:I got up earlier, I worked later and, being in a city, I didn't know well, I didn't know what I was missing. So I just poured everything into this job to get these results no distractions, laser focus, all in. And I kept getting these great results. And you know what I wasn't getting Sleep. And I kept getting these great results. And you know what I wasn't getting Sleep, nutrition, family, friends, joy, exercise. And it was a slow drip, like I didn't notice it right away. I was busy Until one day, and by that I mean my body had been speaking pretty clearly to me the whole time, but I successfully ignored my way through.
Speaker 1:You know my obsession with this thing called success. Well, one day, my body totally turned on me. I woke up sore from head to toe. My back problems were back and acting up and I was gaining weight. And I was, you know, bottle of wine and a pizza instead of therapy, and I just finding myself so irritable that I wasn't even recognizing myself.
Speaker 1:So, after eight months of being out there, and they still weren't sure if there was a job for me. I finally said enough and, upon reflection, the company that I was working for was not the company that I joined and it just took popping my head out of the water and getting some air to process and think, and then be able to see that this, like professional extortion, just couldn't keep going on. And I realized that if I did get the job, yeah, I could do it, and I could do it well and I'd be handsomely rewarded. But it would be at the expense of literally everything else in my life no time for relationships or family time, or rest or recovery, or heaven forbid I do any of those things. And then that skewed guilt shows up when I'm not working and I realized there's no paycheck or title that was worth that for me.
Speaker 1:So I started to reset by starting simple. I started hypothetically, not committing to anything, just exploring what would a world look like if I wasn't at Starbucks anymore. Now, simple as it sounds, that was a thought that I had never entertained for one minute up until that point. But now I was mindfully and consciously releasing the part of me that tied my worth, my skills, my dreams to a job or a role at a company and I finally started asking myself what do I really want? Because I know it's not this anymore. So I asked if I could do anything. What would that be? Because while I didn't know what the future would be, I knew well. I finally paid attention long enough to see that the role I was holding no longer fit, like an old pair of jeans Just didn't do it for me like it once did. So time to redefine my place in the working world, this one was no longer a fit and I didn't love my job the way I knew I could. And I finally gave myself permission to move on, finally, after 15 years. For me this was a huge decision. I was quitting my identity.
Speaker 1:And listen, release isn't just about dropping it and moving on. Release often almost always comes with some grief right, and sometimes it's a big G grief and sometimes it's a little G grief, and it's all welcome and deserves your time and attention. And you might actually miss parts of your old self. Like you feel a little pang of nostalgia for the one that people could always count on or really appreciated you and you did things for them. All the time you can miss those things and because that version of you carried you here, and that version of you fought those battles, kept you safe, did the best they could with what they had. So, instead of resenting them or burning it all down or rejecting them or getting mad at that version of you, we practice forgiveness and grace gratitude. It's not burning it all down or resenting the past experiences, and it's not about goodbye forever. It's just more like thank you for getting me to this point. I've got it from here. It's just more like thank you for getting me to this point. I've got it from here.
Speaker 1:Now we can start to explore phase two, which is the metamorphosis, the big show. So now you're standing in your new self and let me tell you it is both thrilling and scary. It feels a little bit like walking into a party in an outfit you've never worn before. You know it looks good. You know it looks good. You know it's you, but you can't help but wonder what are people thinking and do I fit? That's the disorienting part of transformation. You're not just learning about how to walk in new shoes. You're building trust with your own reflection, and it's a simple phrase that is loaded with insight and indicators of where you need to be paying attention.
Speaker 1:And if you're paying attention, like, for example take Mojo Mastery, for instance it started as an idea, like everything does, and then it started to take shape. I wrote a mission, I developed a framework, ideas for logos and a blueprint and a business plan for the mission, but I was doing this essentially in a vacuum. I wasn't a mojo maven to my friends or family, and the podcast had barely started, so I was still in the process of finding my voice. Then there was an opportunity to gather with some fellow entrepreneurs at a networking event little get together thing and even that like calling myself an entrepreneur seemed like a little bit of cosplay. I hadn't sold anything or even registered a business. So that's when I learned what imposter syndrome was. Anywho, that's another story for another episode. But my point is I went to this networking event and was called upon to do what you do with these things to introduce yourself and your brand. Okay, sure, yeah, okay, yeah, let's do that. I can do that.
Speaker 1:So, with my heart pounding in my chest, it came to my turn to present who I was, what I do and who I serve. Now what came out of my mouth? This is I don't think anybody knows this. What came out of my mouth next was a surprise to me as much as it was my audience, when I introduced myself as a newly promoted president, of doing whatever I want, and I got to tell you the reaction that I got from the room. It was just like a vitamin B12 shot to the soul, like I'd never heard myself refer to myself as that before. But it was a fit and it was a hit, so I ran with it. I, of course, went on to further explain Mojo and hyped up the podcast, but it really broke the ice like not just for me but the other entrepreneurs that were at the meeting. But it was a perfect initiation for myself into this new chapter. It felt scary, it felt empowering, it felt right. It felt right because I'd been doing the things I needed to do to tap into the real stuff and not have to put so much thought into how it was going to show up.
Speaker 1:So, for you, this is where reframing your self-image comes in. When you look at the mirror, instead of asking who am I to show up like this, ask who am I not to, and say it with the appropriate amount of sass and vigor. Because, real talk, who are you to show up as anything other than yourself? Who are you pleasing by holding all that back? Who are you shortchanging by keeping your innate greatness to yourself? There's people out there that wanna see that part of you, and every time you present yourself to the world in your new truth whether that's setting a boundary or taking up more space or speaking your mind or just walking taller you're teaching yourself to feel safe here, because at the beginning it feels unknown. But we know that unknown isn't the same as unsafe. It's just new and you have everything you need to navigate it, which takes us seamlessly into phase three. Navigating the world is your new self.
Speaker 1:So what do you look for when stepping out into the world as the real you? Well, here's a few signs that you're in the right place. Even if it feels awkward at first, your old habits start to feel a bit itchy, things that you used to tolerate, whether it's gossip or overcommitting, or saying yes when you mean no. These things suddenly feel heavy and uncomfortable, like a shirt that doesn't fit anymore. And that's not you being difficult, that's you growing. And growing pains isn't just a hit show from the 80s. It's part of change. It's tied to your awareness and the more tuned in you are, the less you have to tolerate that discomfort and you get to nurture that feeling in your new self-image of the person who doesn't tolerate that anymore.
Speaker 1:And maybe these new choices feel vulnerable, like speaking up or taking risks or being decisive. That can be a hard one for a people pleaser for sure. Or maybe it's something as simple as choosing rest over hustle. People might notice and it feels kind of naked at first, but that's the mark of growth. It's a signal that you're doing the right thing, you're in the right room. It's a signal, it's an indicator that you're gently stepping outside of that comfort zone. And if you turned in a couple of weeks ago episode 21, season two you'll understand that that's where the magic lives.
Speaker 1:And yeah, like we talked about at the top of the show, people notice and some are going to love it and celebrate it and some might not, but both are feedback. It and some might not, but both are feedback. They're not final verdicts. Your job is not to convince anyone, it's to stay aligned with your new self. So when people notice, just observe, say thank you, it's true, but don't either way, don't let it hold too much water. You get to decide where you're going to check and adjust. Pay no mind to the peanut gallery Now. I've talked about this before, but when a recovering people pleaser takes the empowered choice to please less and live more, there's definitely a shift and you'll notice that there may or may not have been some people in your life that were in a relationship with you not because of who you are but because of what you could do for them. And as you grow into this new version of yourself and navigate the world through these fresh eyes, with stronger boundaries and clearer vision, you might find that some people fall away. Their intentions become more clear and the dynamics of your relationship may or may not jive anymore.
Speaker 1:For me, I was struck by this. On my last trip to France, I went back to my old neighborhood and enjoyed my, my old hometown and all its glory for about. I was there for about six weeks last fall and it was all the things. And I was so excited to see my old friends, to visit my old job at the pub Shout out to the best Irish pub in the world, by the way, john McBurn but what I wasn't prepared for was the ghosts right Like the people, notably my ex-husband who popped up and I observed very like vivid and overt examples of not only the person I used to be, but these interactions really highlighted for me, like how far I'd come, like I'd be sitting across from my ex we're still friendly, we're having a coffee and I would observe all of these behaviors that I tolerated for so long, like his inability to stay in the moment or his relentless habit of talking to strangers in the middle of another conversation, and I could see how far I'd come in my awareness of my needs, my standards, my expectations for how I'm treated in relationships and how I shortchanged myself before in accepting less than my worth and the gap that I created by not expressing my feelings or expectations. Well, it was very affirming to know that that version of me didn't exist anymore. Needless to say, it was a lot to uncover, but it reflected back to me how this new self is much more empowered and tuned into what I need and what I want, and I'm no longer at the bottom of the list after everyone else's needs are met. It was extremely enlightening.
Speaker 1:So the headline here is remember this you don't owe the world the old version of you just because they're more comfortable with it. It can be tempting, but hold your ground. They don't get a vote. This isn't Survivor. So, after all that heavy lifting, it is a great time for phase four Reflect and celebrate. And now, okay, listen up, these are being real clear here. Do not skip this part, because it's easy to get caught up in the discomfort of the newness and forget how far you've come. Take the time to reflect. Write down all the things that you've shed.
Speaker 1:Celebrate the wins, no matter how small, not just some of them, all of them. Something you can do is make reflection and celebration part of your ongoing sleep routine. Just replay the day in your mind's eye and find the moments that you've shown and forgive the little trespasses. But this is the time to focus on the wins the swings that you took, the discomfort that you lived through, the baby risk that paid off, the thing that you did for the first time, regardless of how it went. Celebrate that shit.
Speaker 1:And maybe today, the win is that you paused before saying yes to something. Maybe it's that you wore something that finally makes you feel more you. Maybe it's that you finally admitted to yourself that you're not going back. Maybe today's the day that you decided that you want more, because you know that I celebrated after showing up at that networking event, totally out of my comfort zone and showing up for the first time as someone that I was actively designing a life for. In fact, I developed a new routine that day.
Speaker 1:At the end of the week, I go to my favorite local spot and I treat myself to some social time and a pint and review the winds for the day and the week. That was A way to finish up the week feeling on top, no matter what the peaks and valleys I had navigated. This was special time to focus on the winds, big and small. And these little celebrations build momentum. They stitch your new identity into your daily life until it just doesn't feel new anymore. It just feels like home.
Speaker 1:And you don't think I'd bring you all the way here without the perfect mantra, do you? Here we go I release, I embrace and I trust. I release who I was, I embrace who I am and I trust who I'm becoming. This ties directly into release, grace and stepping fully into this identity that's been there all along. You can keep it close and repeat as needed I release, I embrace, I trust.
Speaker 1:So yeah, breaking up with your old identity is messy. There's release and forgiveness and grace and sometimes some grief. But what's on the other side is freedom, it's alignment, the joy of finally recognizing yourself in your own life and feeling really fucking good about it. Unapologetically, because here's the thing, no one's keeping score, and if you're feeling a little wobbly in your new skin, here's your reminder. You're not lost. This won't last forever. You're found now. The comfort will come quickly Because it's not unknown, it's just new and you have everything you need to keep going. And with practice and then a little bit of mojo, the wobbliness turns into a stride and then it turns into a strut, and that is mojo. All right, my friends, that's today's dose of mojo.
Speaker 1:If this episode spoke to you in some way, I want you to share it with a friend, one who's in the middle of their own little transformation. And hey, leaving a friend one who's in the middle of their own little transformation. And hey, leaving a review on the Apple podcast or the Spotify. It really helps me reach more people who need it, and I'd be grateful if you took a minute to do that. Be sure to tune in next week, when we're going to have to lean into the cringe and stop giving a fuck and learn how to not let the awkwardness of life stop you. It's a sneaky little devil and I'd hate to see you miss out on life's treats due to a bit of discomfort. So make sure that you tune in next week for that.
Speaker 1:And if you've been feeling the fall blahs and need a little boost, tapping into your focus and want to stabilize their mood, don't forget, go into the show notes and grab a delicious, effective, all natural little extra boost on your autumn adventures and get yourself some mojo gummies. They're my go to for making this podcast. So go grab the promo code and get yourself a sweet little discount and just like that, you've got yourself your very own pocket full of mojo. My gorgeous friend, thank you for being here, for listening and for walking into the world as the real you. We all appreciate it. So that's it for me. I'm out of here, but I'll see you next time on Pocketful Mojo. Ciao for now. Love you, bye.
