Pocketful of Mojo
Pocketful of Mojo
Breaking Free: The Art of Real-Life Unfollowing
Ever scroll through an Instagram feed and hit "unfollow" without thinking twice? Why is it so much harder to do the same in real life? This episode tackles the radical art of real-life unfollowing – giving you permission to outgrow relationships, jobs, expectations, and even versions of yourself that no longer serve you.
With characteristic candor and compassion, I share my personal journey of outgrowing a friendship built on Olympic-level complaining and the grief that came with recognizing when something once treasured no longer fits. You'll discover practical signs that it might be time to unfollow someone or something: feeling small after interactions, dreading meetups, inability to be authentic, and that telling physical discomfort your body uses to signal misalignment.
We're not just talking about friendships. From the comparison trap on social media to soul-crushing hustle culture that glorifies burnout ("Because nothing says 'I'm doing great' like crying in the car between meetings"), this episode breaks down all the things worthy of your unfollow – including outdated expectations of who you "should" be and advice that once served you but now constrains you.
For my fellow recovering people-pleasers, hear this message loud and clear: kindness is not the same as self-abandonment. You can respect someone deeply and still decide their energy no longer serves you. You can have history with a job, friend, or mentor and still walk away without guilt. Unfollowing isn't rejection – it's redirection toward what's aligned with who you're becoming.
Ready to scroll through your life like it's your feed and decide what deserves to stay? This episode gives you both permission and practical steps to make space for what truly fills your cup. Because defining what you don't want makes more room for what you do want – and that's where your mojo truly shines.
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here's your friendly reminder you're allowed to outgrow people, jobs, group chats and even the person that you used to be this week on pocket full of mojo. We're talking about the radical art of the real life unfollow, because not everyone who claps for you has your back and not everything that once fit still belongs in your closet, literally, metaphorically. We're going to unpack it all Again, both with the literal and the metaphorical. So, whether it's your cousin, your co-worker or that motivational account that secretly makes you feel like crap, we're naming it, claiming it and letting it go. And our mantra of the week I'm choosing peace over pleasing. Let's go find your peace and get tuned in, tapped in and turned on. Hey, my clever, kind and sassy souls, welcome back to Pocketful Mojo, where we shake off the shoulds and snatch back your spark and finally start living life like we mean it. I'm Steph, your Mojo Maven, recovering people pleaser and sitting president of Doing Whatever I Want. Recovering people pleaser and sitting president of Doing Whatever I Want, which includes this podcast. So thanks for being here Now.
Speaker 1:Today's episode is one you didn't know you needed until right now. We're talking about how to unfollow people in real life. I know a little spicy, right, but listen, just like you can mute someone on Instagram without starting a war, you can do the same thing in your actual life and you're allowed to so segment one. We're calling the permission slip. Let's start here. You are allowed to change, you're allowed to grow, and sometimes that growth comes with grief, because when you start to get to know yourself better, really tune in to what fuels you, what excites you, what honors you, you might notice that not everything or everyone that you once leaned on fits anymore. And that's not mean, it's not selfish, it's just evolution, baby.
Speaker 1:I want to give you a quick story. A few years ago I had a close friend who I genuinely adored. We bonded over complaining like Olympic-level rants and at the time it felt like a connection. It was this sisterly, bitchy kind of alter ego I had when I was around her. But the deeper I got into my own personal growth as time went on, the more I noticed I'd leave those catch-ups feeling heavy, like my soul needed a shower, like I had to be a different person around her, someone that I wasn't anymore. And still I stayed friends for a while because I didn't want to be rude and it's not like something happened and I didn't want to be too sensitive and I didn't really know how to put words to it, and I definitely didn't want to lose someone that I once loved.
Speaker 1:But here's the truth Just because someone met a need once doesn't mean that they're meant to stay forever. Sometimes we outgrow the lesson, sometimes we outgrow the person, and it's okay to unfollow with love. So what does that mean? What does unfollow in real life even mean? So let's break this down. To unfollow someone in real life, it doesn't mean a dramatic bridge burning scene where you storm out and slam the door and there's some cool theme music playing. It could mean just seeing them less often or consciously setting a new boundary with yourself and just paying attention to how much mental weight their opinions really take up. So it really depends on the dynamic. Maybe it just means stopping the hustle to earn their approval Slay, and this doesn't just apply to people.
Speaker 1:You can unfollow the following things that I will outline in a segment I like to call the quote comparison is the thief of joy is a polite way of saying. Comparison can fuck right off, because that's the energy we need to bring to comparison from here on out. Because, ladies and gentlemen and everyone in between. No one is you, not a single person out there has exactly what you have, knows exactly what you know and has lived what you've lived in the time that you've lived it, not even close. So with that in mind, we'll start with the obvious Social media accounts that trigger you into thinking about all the things that you're not, but not in an aspirational or an inspirational kind of way. If you follow an account or a person or a celebrity that even nibbles at your mojo, or a celebrity that even nibbles at your mojo, it's gotta go. Comparison can fuck right off.
Speaker 1:Coming in at number two old dreams that no longer fit your spirit. You want to put down the knitting needles and join a roller derby group? Done, it's that easy. You get to choose what you do with your time, and the best reason to do it is because you feel like it. No, dust off that old vision board and toss it in the fire pit Responsibly. Seriously, these wildfires are not fucking around. But back to your dreams. Do not wait to update your big goals and start working on them immediately. It's time well spent, I promise, and having goals that fire you up is way better than having dreams that are collecting dust. I can't believe I have to sell you on this. On to number three, and it's a bit of a hot take, and I take zero responsibility for your choices, but I'm just here to remind you that you have some choices.
Speaker 1:Number three on the list of propaganda that I'm not falling for is jobs that pay well but cost you your peace. Look, friends, I love work. I'm no slouch. I worked my ass off in corporate for 15 years. It was literally my identity at a certain point. My work ethic has always been strong and my ambition monster is a beast. But if I could put my hands on the shoulders of 23-year-old Steph and give her one piece of advice because the genie gave me a wish to go see my younger self and there was like terms and conditions or whatever I'd say work doesn't matter as much as you think it does, get some hobbies, get some friends. But there'd be like commas instead of periods, so it would be like a run on sentence so that it could be a loophole with the terms and conditions of the genie or whatever.
Speaker 1:But my point is, if all you're doing with your life in this moment is going from work clothes to pajamas, then, babe, you're not really living and I say this with respect and love and no judgment, because truly it takes one to know one. And if this doesn't apply to you and you've already figured it out, then I owe you a high five. But I'm just asking you to consider what role does work play in your life? And did you sign a contract somewhere to make other people's dreams come true and give your best stuff away for what I assume is a fraction of your actual financial value and an enormous slice of your time and energy? That's all I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Okay, so, now that we're all fired up, I've got three more powerful real life things that you can unfollow and should strongly consider if you're reclaiming your mojo. Consider what your life would be like if you broke up with the old expectations of who you should be. Because, babe, we change and it's possible that there's an outdated version of you who never rocked the boat, who always smiled and stayed small and didn't take up any space. That version of you unfollow. She served a purpose. We love her, but she's not invited to this next chapter. So do we love her? Sure, was she doing the best that she could? Absolutely, but we know more now. We've grown, we're blooming, we're ready to say what we think and have ideas and take action. Rocking the boat. It's kind of rock and roll if you do it right, and boundaries are very badass when you see them in action and the old you. They were great, but we've decided to go in a different direction, so it's time to make some room Next up, ditching the good advice that no longer aligns Now.
Speaker 1:As a Capricorn, I am no stranger to loyalty, so when I like something, I tend to hang on to it for a long time. But we also know that we grow and we learn and we evolve and we change, so what we need also changes. So when it comes to the advice that we seek out and the input that we align ourselves with, like who we watch on YouTube or follow on social media, or coaches that we use or follow or subscribe and so on, it's okay to shake it up sometimes that you used to swear by, if it's making you feel even shades of ashamed or stuck or like there's only one right way to grow. That's an unfollow, because wisdom evolves and so do you Like me wanting to give that advice to 23-year-old me? If somebody gave me that advice today, I'd be like yeah, I know, which links nicely into our last goodbye Hustle culture and overachiever energy, constantly trying to prove your worth through output and burnout.
Speaker 1:Good, introducing Hustle Culture, the lifestyle brand that says sleep is for the weak, boundaries are for quitters and burnout is a badge of honor. Why rest when you can set 37 goals before sunrise? Why feel joy when you could chase external validation until your eye twitches? With Hustle Culture, you'll get a complimentary side of guilt anytime you sit down. Thank you, but wait, there's more. Join now and we'll throw in color-coded calendars that you'll never stick to, a performance review from your inner critic and the crushing inability to enjoy a vacation without your laptop.
Speaker 1:Hustle culture Because nothing says I'm doing great, like crying in the car between meetings. Doing great like crying in the car between meetings. Or you could just unsubscribe and try joy instead. Because rest, joy, ease. These aren't luxuries, they're requirements for long-term success, and I am here, if nothing, for long-term success, and I am here if nothing for long-term success. I can't even begin to tell you about all the things that I've got cooking, my friend, but I can tell you this Candidly it's been a struggle lately to do all the things, to do the hustling, to do the do it, whether you feel like it or not, because I was really on fire.
Speaker 1:I'd gotten six weeks worth of work done in four weeks. My dad was stable. I had a really long stretch at home because my brother went up to Church Hill. So I used my crystal ball of wisdom and was like me thinks I'm going to want slash need a break after being on dad duty 24-7, mostly for two weeks straight. So I booked myself a ticket to Calgary to see some friends and my brother would be home for all the caregiver duties. Four nights into my five nights away, my brother texted our team dad group chat and there had been a fall, long story short. An ambulance was on its way and I'm not sure you'd believe me if I told you every time that I'd been away from the house and something has happened with dad. It's beyond coincidence if you believe in that kind of thing. Anywho Pops has been in the hospital for 13 days now, and I'll spare you the details. But I mean 13 days now. And I'll spare you the details, but I mean he old, he's got a chronic case of being 86. And I'm going to make the most of my time as his daughter, slash, caregiver while I can, until I can't. And if you want a picture of my dad, I'd say he's a pretty good blend of Ned Flanders, grandpa Simpson and Mr Burns.
Speaker 1:All this to say that my quote-unquote productivity lately has not been in direct alignment with my timelines and my goals and my soulless ambition monster is furious with my situation. But this is my choice. These are my choices for now, because nothing is forever. But this podcast, this commitment to myself, despite it all, thanks to it all, is a great touchstone for me to show up for my goals, to help me focus on what is in my control and also to practice some grace, to rest without guilt, to adjust my timelines, to say yes to being a potato in bed tonight. And what I've learned as I've now soothed myself through a situation or two, as I'm sure you have too, is that the more I indulge in the indulgence of rest and recovery, the faster and stronger I bounce back. And the more I put my head down, power through, faster and stronger I bounce back. And the more I put my head down, power through and ignore my true feelings and what I'm authentically living, the faster I find crippling depression and burnout. And maybe it's just me, but I hope that that road never finds you. So that's my mojo moment for you.
Speaker 1:I unfollowed the hustle and grind in order to honor my peace and engage my resilience Period. So let's get super practical. Let's take a look at how to spot a real life unfollow. So grab a pen or take a mental note. Here are five signs that it might be time to unfollow someone or something.
Speaker 1:Number one you feel small after interacting with them, not challenged per se and certainly not called higher, just kind of shrunk. Number two you dread it but you show up anyway, whether it's a coffee date or a Zoom call or scrolling through that one influencer's feed. If it feels like a chore, it's telling you something, but you got to pay attention. Number three you feel like you can't be fully you. Maybe you catch yourself editing your words or just kind of nodding politely or minimizing your wins to preserve their feelings, or saying something and then bracing for judgment. I never got time for that. And number four this one came when I was talking to a friend as I was researching this episode and she said I pay super close attention to myself.
Speaker 1:If I replay the interaction in my head after I was like oh yeah, that's a good one. Like, if they're taking up space after you leave an interaction, what are you replaying? Why are you replaying it Like, are you rewriting what you should have said? Are you going in circles about what they said, what you said? What does that mean? No circles about what they said, what you said? What does that mean? This is your nervous system speaking and that's wisdom, babe. So you got to listen to that.
Speaker 1:Keep pulling that thread and try to figure out what it is about your interaction with them that leaves you doubting yourself and maybe take a beat before seeing them again until you've got an idea where that ick came from, because this is a big one. Your body gives you clues Tight chest, knotted stomach, dry mouth. Pay attention, your intuition lives in the physical body, and not just for the unfollows, because as you unfollow, you become more of a magnet for the things that you do want to follow, because you've got a better idea of what it looks like. Defining what you don't want makes more room for what you do want. That's kind of the headline here, but I made you listen for 20 minutes before giving it away. You gorgeous, diehard you. So, yeah, body knows, listen the better your relationship with that amazing body, miracle machine of yours, the better your life will be, definitely.
Speaker 1:Now let's get practical. How to do the unfollow? Well, let's say you've identified something or someone that you're ready to unfollow. What do I do now? Let's walk through it step by step. First step you got to check in with your truth. Ask yourself what's the cost of staying connected to this? What tax am I paying by continuing to participate? And then, what do I gain if I step away? Is it peace of mind? Is it time? Is it better vibrations? Whatever, that is for you, clarity gives you courage To do the next step.
Speaker 1:Number two choose your type of unfollow, because not every unfollow needs to be loud. Here's some options the quiet fade, you just see them. Less you say, less you do, less, don't initiate. See what happens. And then there's the soft boundary. So, like if you think back to the girl that I used to have the bitch club with, there's got to be other parts to her and other things that we have in common. So if it goes down the bitch talk road, I can just say like hey, you know what, I'm trying this new thing and I'm not available for that kind of talk anymore. Let's keep it lighter. That doesn't sound mean and it may take them a beat to process, but if it's good and you've got things in common, you'll find your way back to each other. And then there's just the conscious goodbye I care about you, but our connection just doesn't feel aligned anymore, kind of a you do, you, I'm piecing out energy, but you don't owe an explanation for every change, but you do owe yourself peace. So if this feels like a bit of heavy lifting, it's temporary and you'll feel better on the other side. But we're not done, because the third step is to fill the space with something better. This is the fun part, because once you unfollow what drains you, you make room for what fuels you. So ask yourself what people light me up, call them, go for lunch, what kind of communities make me feel safe. Find out their next meetup. Then you can audit your online time, what online spaces reflect the kind of energy that I want more of, and then you can fill your feed and your life with more of that, because you made all that space doing the spring cleaning by unfollowing all the things.
Speaker 1:Okay, deep breath. Let me speak directly to the recovering people. Pleasers out there, my people. If you've been bending and twisting, minimizing or performing to keep a relationship alive, I see you. You've been told that being kind means being available, that loving others means giving up pieces of yourself. That's not love, that's martyrdom. So here's your reminder Kindness is not the same as self-abandonment. You can love someone deeply and still decide that they're not good for you anymore. You can respect someone and still unfollow their advice. You can have history with a job or a friend, a mentor, and still walk away without guilt.
Speaker 1:Unfollowing is not rejection, it's redirection. Redirection toward what's aligned, toward what you're becoming, toward a version of you that knows their worth. So this week I want you to try something. Scroll through your life like it's your feed. Ask yourself what no longer inspires me, what makes me feel less than what? Did I choose out of fear or obligation? And then give yourself permission to unfollow, mute, pause, unsubscribe, step back. You're not mean, you're not dramatic. You don't even need to tell anyone what you're doing. They don't care Probably. Just make the decision with yourself, for yourself, and let life unfold from there. Less is more. You're just making space for your mojo to breathe. All right, my friend, that is a wrap for Pocketful Emojo.
Speaker 1:If this episode lit something up in you, remember, confidence isn't loud, it's yours. And if this hit home, would you do me a solid? Share it with your people. Leave a review or tag me in your own real life unfollow journey. Just don't unfollow me, okay, thanks, and remember your life doesn't have to impress anyone else, but it does need to feel good in your bones and you don't need to become someone new. Just come back to you and, hey, if you're ready to boost your energy, focus and get shit done with less stress and more sparkle, you've gotta try my Mojo gummies. They're packed with brain loving, mood boosting goodness and honestly, they're the easiest. Yes, in your self care routine you can even grab 15% off. I got a link in the show notes. So go treat your nervous system, boo, you deserve it. And then we're going to see you next time when we talk about how the real flex is emotional stability. As always, don't shrink, don't settle. Take up space and stay sparkly. Ciao for now. Love you, noice.
