Pocketful of Mojo
Pocketful of Mojo
One ISN'T The Loneliest Number
That hollow feeling when the noise dies down and everyone else has gone home?
It might not be loneliness at all—it might be your first real chance to discover who you truly are.
For those of us who've spent years (or decades) tying our worth to how useful we can be to others, that ache of isolation often strikes right when we finally stop pouring ourselves into everyone else.
Suddenly, there's silence, and in that silence might be grief, fear, or echoes of a younger self who learned that being alone meant doing something wrong. But what if that feeling isn't a punishment, but an invitation?
In this deeply personal exploration, I'm sharing five powerful steps to transform loneliness into sacred solitude. From naming your feelings without shame to romanticizing your alone time, these practices aren't just band-aids—they're portals back to your authentic self.
You'll discover how to rewrite what being alone means, how to fall in love with your own company, and why sitting still with yourself might be exactly the medicine your soul has been craving.
Whether you're a recovering people-pleaser, going through a major life transition, or simply wanting to deepen your relationship with yourself, this episode offers both gentle compassion and practical tools.
The truth is, you're not broken when you feel lonely—your nervous system is simply rewiring after years of self-abandonment.
And on the other side of that discomfort lies the most beautiful homecoming: reconnecting with the parts of yourself you temporarily forgot.
Grab the free solitude self-care checklist RIGHT HERE and join me in turning those quiet moments from something we dread into our most empowering, soul-nourishing practice. Because when you can truly be at home with yourself, you're never really alone again.
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Are you lonely or just finally alone with yourself for the first time in forever? If you've ever felt that pointy ache in your chest when the noise dies down and the text messages stop, this episode is for you. Today, we're talking about the difference between loneliness and solitude and how to turn that humbling, hollow feeling into your most healing, empowering, soul-sparking space. If you're a recovering people pleaser, this might just be the love letter you didn't know you needed Because, believe it or not, might just be the love letter you didn't know you needed Because, believe it or not, loneliness can become one of the most beautiful, powerful portals back to your true self. We're turning loneliness into sweet, soulful solitude, and you're not going to want to miss this shift. So, without further ado, let's get tuned in, tapped in and turned on, tapped in and turned on. Welcome back to Pocketful of Mojo, your cozy corner of the podcast world, where we unpack the real stuff, shake off the guilt and reclaim our joy, one soulful episode at a time. I'm glad you're here. I'm Steph, I'm your mojo maven, and while I'm not a therapist or a psychologist, I am that friend that you can talk to about your feelings. And if you've tangled with loneliness from time to time, I'm here to say you're not as alone as you think. Now, today's episode is a biggie. We're talking about something that hits deep, especially for those of us who spent years, maybe decades, tying our sense of worth to how useful, available or agreeable we could be to other people, and often what we're left with after everyone else is taken care of is loneliness. So we're not just gonna talk about it. I'm gonna take you through today's mantra, then we're gonna dive deep into talk about it. I'm going to take you through today's mantra, then we're going to dive deep into five steps to sacred solitude. That's going to give you a clear blueprint that's just going to offset that feeling of loneliness and leave you feeling aligned, empowered and whole.
Speaker 1:Loneliness is more than just like I'm physically alone. It's deeper than that like I'm physically alone. It's deeper than that. It's that ache that creeps in after the noise dies down, like you close the door, you hang up the phone or finally stop pouring yourself into everyone else, and suddenly there's silence. And in that silence sometimes there's grief, sometimes there's fear, and sometimes there's the echo of a younger version of you that learned if I'm not needed, I'm not wanted, if I'm alone, I must have done something wrong. Does this sound familiar? Yeah, yeah, I see you. I feel you and I want you to know you're not broken. What you're feeling there, that's your nervous system trying to rewire after years of people pleasing, overextending and abandoning yourself in tiny ways just to keep the peace. But you know me, I'm here for the good news, and I mean the real, like soul hug kind of good news, because that feeling of loneliness, it's not a punishment, it's an invitation, my friend. So we're gonna RSVP with Mojo and this is your one stop shop for rebooting that inner badass. And I've got everything you need. Today we'll go through the five steps and, just because you're so pretty, I'm including a free solitude self-care checklist and now you can grab it anytime. It's in the show notes, check it out.
Speaker 1:So we're going to start today's episode with our old friend, the weekly mantra, which isn't so weekly, but it's my podcast. I'm going to do what I want. I trust in my own value. Trust. It doesn't happen when things are easy, it happens when things are hard. So when you're feeling lonely, this is the perfect time to learn this mantra, because trust implies like a release or a surrender might be a better word, because you're surrendering to what you know to be true. And what this mantra does in particular is prompt you to start thinking about all the things that already contribute to your inherent value. It forces you to start doing inventory of your own great qualities. I trust in my own value.
Speaker 1:Okay, if you're still not feeling it, then the next step is to sit with the mantra and start to imagine what it would feel like if you did trust in your own value. What would that feel like? How would your life look different if you trusted in your own value? How would your relationships change? How would you operate differently? What decisions would you make differently? Because in the process of even just thinking about these shifts, then you're able to like project your imagination towards the person that you're becoming. It shifts your mindset from lack to fill those gaps with your actual desired result that, like bubbles up automatically I trust in my own value. When you trust in your own value, you've shifted away from the old people-pleasing ways where we feed off of the approval of other people, to a life where you get that vitamin from the source and that's you, and that vitamin that you're looking for is already there. You just temporarily forgot.
Speaker 1:This is about remembering, refreshing your belief system to align with a life where you're at the top of the food chain when it comes to love to you from you. Value starts there. I trust in my own value. I trust in my own value Like. This is a decision, but it's also a practice, which means that you weave it into your day-to-day, into the little moments, because trust isn't ever about proof or permission. It's about choosing to believe, even if doubt is there whispering at you, and you're not waiting for other people to validate you. You're choosing to lean into you and all the magic that lives there.
Speaker 1:I trust in my own value, and what I love about this one is that it centers the power right where it belongs within, within you, not in your performance, not in your productivity, not in what they think, say or approve of. It's your worth, your truth, and it lives inside you, not outside. I trust in my own value. This is your inherent, unshakable worthiness period. We are not measured by how much we do or how easy it is to love us, or how well we fit in. Our value exists because we exist. You matter full stop. I trust in my own value.
Speaker 1:Say it slow, say it loud, say it until it feels like the truth. Because it is, I trust in my own value. Whew, good mantra. Because here's the thing loneliness is real and I know this because I've spent some time with this feeling. But spoiler alert the more I've engaged with this mojo work, the less often it comes to visit, and when it pops its head up it doesn't stay for very long.
Speaker 1:But I do remember this feeling, like it was yesterday, say, for very long. But I do remember this feeling like it was yesterday, that feeling, that hollow spot that just seems to shout from the bottom of my heart. It makes me feel isolated and unloved and it can feel unsafe. And then that lays the welcome mat for feelings of insecurity and unworthiness and self-doubt. And that why does no one love me? Soundtrack that seems to play on repeat, like swimming in feelings of like some invisible rejection, while delivering zero sense of comfort or solution. Just kind of a drifted sea in these moments, with no apparent lifeline, just more questions.
Speaker 1:So let's talk about it. Let's talk about how we shift. What do we do with this ache of loneliness? How do we go from who am I without them to I love who I am with me. So let's break down the how. I promised you five steps.
Speaker 1:Let's start at the top. Step one name it without shame. Feel it, because loneliness isn't a weakness, it's information. Remember, feelings are not facts and they are neither good nor bad, they just are. So instead of judging the feeling, or if you catch yourself judging the feeling, just catch yourself, shift a bit and then start getting curious. Say it out loud I feel lonely right now. I'd say it to myself in the car and that's okay. This is just one feeling. This is not a forever truth. So, while it's super important to let yourself feel it and name it, it's important to remember that you're not here to fuse with it. It's a feeling, it's not who you are.
Speaker 1:And then, for step two, we're just going to rewrite the meaning of alone, of being alone, because up until now you thought that being alone was a bad thing, with not great feelings attached to it. But it can get confusing, because sometimes we really crave being alone. So here's a reframe for your pocket being alone doesn't mean being unloved. Being alone doesn't mean being unloved. Being alone doesn't mean being unworthy. Being alone means space Space to breathe, space to reconnect, space to remember who the heck you are without a role to perform. This is about you. My amazing friend Kip said it best Solitude is a teaching. It's where we tune in to find out what are my needs, my wants, and what does it look like when it's not connected to another human being. I just thought that was amazing, so you can try this mantra alone is my reset, not my rejection. Ooh, that feels empowering, just saying it.
Speaker 1:So let's tackle number three. Reintroduce yourself to you. Whether you think about yourself this way or not, you're in a committed relationship with yourself. So it's time to fall in love. Something tells me that your heart is full of love for other people in your life, but the great news is that there's always real estate for more. So this is the part where you add yourself to your list of great loves.
Speaker 1:So where to start? Okay, start small, start with intention. Take yourself on a walk without your phone. Pay attention to your thoughts. Make them sweet and reflective and soft and kind of flirty. Make yourself a meal, not to impress anyone but yourself, because you deserve pleasure. Make that recipe that you've been saving for a special occasion because you are. That special occasion and activities are great, but you could also just spend like 10 minutes with yourself and ask what do I actually like? What makes me feel the most like me? And those are vague enough that you can just trust your intuition and see where your thoughts go. And, if you feel up to it, grab your journal and write it down, just whatever comes up, naturally, and it might feel a bit awkward at first, kind of like a first date, but, babe, this is a lifelong love story and you're the person that you're gonna be spending the rest of your life with, so make it the romance of the ages. This is your chance to unwind the ties of your worthiness to other people and dig into the fabulousness that is you.
Speaker 1:So now we're ready for step four Replace performance with presence. Because you don't have to earn your own company, you don't need to perform. When you're just with yourself. You can be messy, you can be unfiltered and take the time to just let the to-do list go for a second and have some sweet solitude, like with intention, because the sweet solitude is born when you can sit in your own presence without having to edit it, without trying to fill it with productivity, without having to be a certain kind of way. It's when me time stops being a chore and starts being like this sweet homecoming. Now it's tempting to stay busy when practicing solitude. Fill your day with massages and nature walks and make a self-care day and pack it with activities that you enjoy, which is great. So, like, don't get it twisted. Those things are amazing for self-care and part of taking care of your fine self.
Speaker 1:But what we're talking about today is the process of getting to the place where simply spending time with yourself and just be what does that look like? How does that feel? And if the thought of sitting still with yourself gives you the willies because you'll be confronted, maybe, with some thoughts and feelings that you've been working super hard to avoid, super hard to avoid then that, my friend, is the quintessential clue. It's the clue that solitude is exactly what you need. It's your inner self crying out for attention. It's your cue to stop and just listen. Because, trust me when I say what you'll learn in the stillness, in the silence, what you'll learn in the stillness, in the silence, it's not scary at all, it's gold. It's the key to what your needs and desires actually are, and I say this all the time. You already have all the answers and this is your invitation to RSVP to yourself and tune into the story that your heart is trying to tell you.
Speaker 1:And the last step is the most fun step Just romanticize the fuck out of it. Like do the thing. Start by do all the cliches, light the candles, play the playlist, get the fancy mug Put on the outfit that you save for special occasions. Right Like, make this alone time something elevated, something sacred, something just you showing you how special you think you are. So, whatever that looks like for you, you can turn these solo moments into little rituals, and it doesn't have to be over the top, it has to be tailor made for you and it has to be for you with you, like journaling, meditating, singing, dancing, make art, sit in the sunshine, wrap yourself in a blanket and just like, stare. I've tried all those things and they're all fantastic, because you're not waiting for life to begin. Once someone texts you back, you are your own green light.
Speaker 1:Because, look, loneliness happens, especially when you stop bending backwards to earn love. There's often a season where things feel quiet and raw, when people aren't loving us the way that we love them, and so what's up? But I promise you that quiet is where the real. You start speaking up again, and that's not loneliness, that's your soul stretching its legs, that's you making room for more new magic, that's you becoming whole again, remembering the parts that you temporarily forgot. So let's end with this affirmation Say it with me, if you can.
Speaker 1:I am safe with myself, I am not missing. I am reuniting with me In my own company. I am never alone. I am home. I am safe with myself, I'm not missing. I'm reuniting with me In my own company. I am never alone, I am home.
Speaker 1:So if this episode hits you in the feels I want to hear from you. Come on, dm me, share it with a friend who needs it, or maybe leave a review. If you want a little mojo to spare and make sure you grab your free solitude self-care checklist, you can just tap that thing in the show notes because you're not here to take notes. So I did that for you thing in the show notes because you're not here to take notes, so I did that for you. Grab it today and then you can add it to your self love toolbox and remember being alone not a failure, it's a season. Navigating it is a skill. Everybody can learn skills and now you can approach it as a sacred act of self respect. And you, you're doing great. So thanks for being here and until next time, keep your heart open, your mojo tuned in and your solitude. Sweet Love, ya, ciao. For now, you.
