Pocketful of Mojo
Pocketful of Mojo
Is it Mojo? Or Just a Mask?
This week's self-care surge took me from enneagram typing to chiropractic scans and theta healing, revealing the critical difference between authentic mojo and toxic positivity. The journey cracked me open, exposing blind spots I didn't realize were there and showing how my body was carrying stress my mind had rationalized away.
• Mojo is your authentic life force – the inner fire that gets you moving and showing up as yourself
• Toxic positivity is a "good vibes only" mask that overrides real emotions with forced sunshine
• True self-care makes you feel more like yourself, not someone you think you should be
• As an Enneagram 9, I discovered my tendency to numb out and avoid confrontation. If you'd like to learn more about Enneagram, check out Tamara Kroeker - she's the best
My parasympathetic nervous system was in the red zone despite feeling "fine" intellectually
• Nervous system dysregulation can cause chronic fatigue, emotional numbness, and withdrawal
• Gentle practices like deep breathing, nature time, and safe connections help restore balance
• Theta healing unlocked beliefs about safety and responsibility I didn't know were holding me back. To learn more about Theta Healing, you're in great hands with Megan at the Conscious Village!
• Reconnecting with my inner child became an unexpected part of my healing journey
• Real mojo comes from honesty, not forced positivity
If you haven't grabbed your copy of Small Shifts Massive Mojo yet, HERE IS YOUR LINK It's full of simple ways to build real momentum, one honest moment at a time.
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from chiropractic to theta healing to discovering my enneagram type. I've been on a self-care surge this week and I'm low-key dying to tell you about it and it has unlocked so much and revealed so many blind spots that I'm excited to be on the verge of so many new breakthroughs that I thought I'd take a beat hit record and unpack some of the insights and aha moments that have caused me to reflect on the question is it mojo or toxic positivity? Stay tuned while we peel back the layers and ground ourselves in the difference between the two and what role Mojo really plays in who we are and how we show up in this thing called life. So settle in, my friend, as we continue our mission to live a life we love and love the life we live. So let's get tuned in, tapped in and turned on in and turned on. Hey friend, welcome back to Pocketful of Mojo.
Speaker 1:I've been on a serious self-care surge this week and I'm kind of bursting to talk about it. Let's just say this wasn't your average sheet mask and bubble bath kind of week. This was soul work, nervous system work, energy clearing, blind spot busting kind of self-care and I'm not going to lie, it kind of got me thinking am I chasing my mojo or am I sugarcoating my stuff with a big smile and calling it growth? So today we're diving deep, I'm unpacking a few breakthroughs, sharing some aha moments and reflecting on that big juicy question is it Mojo or is it a mask? So let's go and I'm Steph, by the way, your Mojo Maven, your friend you can talk to about feelings and I'm here for you. So let's dig into it. What is Mojo really? Mojo is your authentic life force. It's that inner fire that gets you moving, dreaming, showing up and taking up space. Like you mean it. Mojo is aligned energy. It's simply your confidence that's rooted in your truth. It's showing up with clarity and courage. Mojo is feeling fully you, even when things aren't perfect. It's the stuff that lights you up and makes your days feel alive, and not just full. But here's the thing Mojo doesn't mean you're always on. It doesn't mean you're always upbeat or that you love every moment. In fact, true mojo often comes after a breakdown, a messy cry or a moment where you admit to yourself this isn't working for me anymore. That's mojo too. In fact, that's where mojo mastery was born.
Speaker 1:My personal mojo came after the worst year of my life. My mom took a nap and never woke up. My marriage of 10 years had disintegrated. Found that out a couple of days after the funeral. Cool, so I had to uproot my lovely life in France and come home to Canada to be my dad's caregiver. Not exactly the environment for mojo, the one wouldn't think. But as it turns out, that turn of events stripped away all the pieces of me that weren't me at all and reminded me of who I really was. But that took some time and healing and grieving oh so much grieving. But it was the healing that I was dedicated to that led me to the path of mojo.
Speaker 1:But let's take a beat and look at the flip side. That mask, that toxic positivity which is kind of a buzzword right now. And it's that relentless good vibes only attitude that tries to override the real emotions with some fake sunshine. And you're wearing that mask when you're smiling through gritted teeth, when you're saying I'm fine when you're really not, or you're forcing the silver linings before you've allowed yourself to feel the storm. Or maybe it's based in good intentions, using affirmations to avoid pain instead of processing it. We're talking about that vibe where self-care becomes performative and healing gets reduced to a checklist, and it's all surface and not soul, it's all polish and not permission to feel, because the truth is is that that's not self-care, that is self abandonment dressed in glitter.
Speaker 1:And I want to say this again, mojo, is not the avoidance of your truth, your experience or your feelings Because I know shit happens and there's nothing that Mojo can do about that. You have full permission and, dare I say, responsibility, to address, acknowledge and feel whatever is going on with you good, bad and otherwise and what this podcast is here to do is to help you navigate everything that life throws at you. And you have the tools you need to work through your path and feel empowered to do so, and do it with the faith that you're right where you're meant to be, learning what you're meant to learn as you walk your path and as you do that, you'll keep unraveling the amazing version of yourself that you've always been. And I want to start by sharing a particularly powerful insight that I captured this week, and it's the simple truth that our own experience can be more than one thing. Sounds simple, right, but like we always hear about going through whatever we are processing, and we have this image in our minds or at least I do that when I'm in the shit, I sit in the shit, I deal with it, I process it, I experience it and eventually, in good time, I'll arrive on the other side. Shit free, right. That's the theory, and then the good feelings can start again.
Speaker 1:But what I've come to realize through the power of mojo is that, with consistent commitment to my values, which include things like joy and happiness and play, they don't have to be on pause whilst I process my shit, because I can create a personal container that is strong and big enough to support my grief and my light. And my light can continue to be fed and fueled with moments of joy and happiness and play, even if they're fleeting. And that doesn't mean that I've betrayed my grief or the process of healing. They're just my values, they're my vitamins, and I know, like I know, that I operate better as a human, even and especially when things are hard, if I have those things nearby, because there is no rule that says that we can only feel one thing. There's no feelings police that will come and confiscate your happiness while you're trying to process something difficult. So remember you're in charge. There are fewer rules than you think, so I ask you to just give yourself some permission and see what happens.
Speaker 1:So I thought it would be a good idea for this next part that we have a look at some red flags that maybe you're masking instead of mastering. Okay, so let's talk truth. Here are a few signs that you might be in what I like to call sunshine masking, the storm mode. So maybe you feel pressure to stay positive even when you're struggling. Or you're bouncing from one self-care ritual to the next without actually feeling any better. Another sign is that you're avoiding the hard conversations or the deep emotions, but you're calling it protecting your peace.
Speaker 1:It's like disguised as self-care, but it's really avoidance. As self-care, but it's really avoidance. Or when you're on the verge of addressing something difficult, you just say to yourself things like well, it could be worse and what you're doing there is you're silencing your own needs. Maybe you feel exhausted by your own healing journey and you're constantly working on yourself, but you're not feeling any more like yourself. If any of this sounds familiar, babe, you're not alone.
Speaker 1:These are sneaky patterns, because on the outside it looks like you're doing all the right things, but inside there's a disconnect. And that's the invitation right To pause, to check in and then ask yourself the deeper question Is this helping me return to myself or helping me avoid myself? So let's flip the script. Here's what it looks like when your self-care actually builds your mojo, because life happens and sometimes shit gets real and the dark times will come and pay a visit, but they don't have an invitation to stay. So here's how you know that it's truly fueling you and not just masking what's really going on underneath. Small shift, big difference. So you're going to know it's the right self-care for you if you feel more like you after doing it, not someone you think you should be.
Speaker 1:You can also know that the self-care is right for you if you're more emotionally available, and I don't mean emotionally tidy. So for me, like this one shows up for me right after a great chat session with my bestie, I just feel like I've given airtime to what's on my mind and in my heart, even if it's messy, even if it makes me cry in the middle of the cafe, and because I know that, whatever I feel, I'm still loved unconditionally. And you know that that self-care is right for you if afterwards you are feeling grounded and clear and tuned in again, even if things are still messy or unresolved, but you've done something for yourself. At that point that makes you think yeah, I'm still in the storm, but I know I have an umbrella, a rain jacket and puddle boots and what's that line? I'd rather be dry, but at least I'm alive. Forgive the pop culture reference, but when you're doing this, you're making choices from love and not from fear or for performance or to say that you did the thing.
Speaker 1:But when it comes to self-care, it's not about sorting yourself out so that it's more convenient for other people, because it's not your job to be on 100% of the time. It's not your job to have a perfect attendance record for your job, your friends or your family. Your number one priority is you, and if those other ingredients matter to you, then you matter to you Because how you show up for them starts with you, because real mojo comes from real connection with your body, with your brain, your values, your truth. Sometimes that looks like journaling, sometimes that looks like setting a boundary, sometimes that looks like crying on the bathroom floor, and I can tell you that I have personally tested all of those methods I just listed and they all work.
Speaker 1:It's about knowing which lever to pull to respond to your actual needs, and that could take some time. It's going knowing which lever to pull to respond to your actual needs, and that could take some time. It's going to take some trial and error, because self-care that fuels your mojo doesn't ask you to fake anything. It meets you where you are and invites you home. So here's the part where we bring it back to you, because here's the truth, mojorino, no matter how many ideas and thought starters I give you, the only self-care that's worth a damn is the thing that you pick for yourself, not because someone said it worked, not because that's the self-care flavor of the day, but because it's an answer to a scratch that only you know how to itch. I mean, think about it. A scratch that only you know how to itch. I mean, think about it. Who else is better equipped to know what you like, what you need, what doing a certain thing makes you feel no one else can be an expert on you? That's your job. Now you're like okay, steph, that's fine and all, but I'm tuning in here to figure that out. So what do I do now that I'm on the carousel? Well, that's where I come in. It's kind of my whole vibe, in fact. You can do it, I can help. So here's the tea.
Speaker 1:When it comes to figuring out your ideal self-care, here's what you need to do. You're going to want to start by finding a quiet moment and a cup of tea and then ask yourself what does self-care feel like when it's working? What do I usually do when I'm trying to avoid discomfort? What's one feeling I've been brushing aside in the name of staying positive? And is there a small shift that I could make this week that feels honest and nurturing? And if you're looking for ideas on a small shift, I'll point you to episode 10, where you can get a deep dive on a list of 20 things that will help you tackle one small shift that can potentially change the game for you. You can write that down. And if you're not sure to begin, start with this. Ask yourself the question what do I need to feel more like myself today? That question, right. There is a mojo, mastery classic and a powerful compass. So I promised you some behind the scenes, right? So this week I went deep.
Speaker 1:Now to preface all this, I was feeling pretty good going into the week. My energy felt clean. I had no impulse to cry at the drop of a hat. You know the feeling. I'd been on top of my self-care and, other than a stiff shoulder, I was feeling pretty good, mojo engaged right. Then the week rolled on First up, enneagram typing Hello, type nines, let's get into it.
Speaker 1:It was fascinating. If you're new to it, enneagram is a personality tool that helps you understand how you're wired, how you think, how you feel and behave at the core, and it's made up of nine different types, each with its own vibe, strengths, challenges and blind spots. And it's not about putting you in a box. It's made up of nine different types, each with its own vibe, strengths, challenges and blind spots. And it's not about putting you in a box. It's about showing you the box that you're already in and how to step out of it. Think of it as a self-awareness cheat code that helps you grow, relate better to others and stop running on autopilot.
Speaker 1:And Tamara, my fabulous facilitator. She explained to me that when a nine is thriving, they're grounded, inclusive, strong in their values and really actively creating peace rather than avoiding conflict. And I was like, yeah, that's bang on. And then she went on to explain what happens when a nine is stuck. They may numb out with distractions like scrolling or snacking or staying busy. They avoid confrontation or struggle to know what they really want. And I was like ding, ding, ding.
Speaker 1:And so this discussion fully pulled this behavior of mine out of the blind spot and into the spotlight. I really hung on the description as a whole and fully went down the rabbit hole of digging into all the different things I could know and learn about nines. But this whole numbing out thing really resonated with me Because as I was starting to unpack my inner people pleaser, I realized that I had no idea what I wanted or needed, because I had built a life based on the needs and wants of others. So by avoiding the question, I didn't have to come up with answers. I didn't have. But it was also a great tune in to see how far I've come and when I was answering the questions. It was really enlightening to think about how I would have answered that question five years ago, compared to how I would have answered it today. It was all fascinating and I could talk all day about it. But anyway, the next day it was time for the chiropractor.
Speaker 1:So quick recap when I was 23, I was young and fancy free, and one day I woke up and I couldn't get out of bed. Not like I don't want to face the day, kind of get out of bed. Not like I don't want to face the day, kind of get out of bed. I'm talking. I was physically incapable of getting out of bed. I remember using all of my energy to push past the pain to get on all fours and crawl into the hallway to call a roommate to help me A very what the fuck? Moment for my 23 year old, invincible feeling self.
Speaker 1:So a trip to the doctor, the Reiki healer, the acupuncturist and several, many chiropractors. Later I was told that I had the spine of an 82 year old, because you know how your spine is supposed to curve and make kind of like an S shape. Well, mine makes a question mark. All that pressure on my sciatic nerve and boom, I was at a commission for 10 weeks, for most of which I was hopped up on. A morphine patch became a walking 90 degree angle, unable to fully stand up Not cute. So fast forward to today where I have all the awareness and the ability to live a life where I don't have to go to the chiropractor all the time.
Speaker 1:But it was indeed time for a tune-up. My shoulder had been bothering me for some time and I finally decided to take my own advice and treat myself to some professional attention. So, because it had been a while, the chiropractor wanted to do a scan so that he could set a baseline for treatment and see what was going on. Now maybe it's the Capricorn in me, but when I hear the word scan, my brain thinks test and I've got to get a good score. Yeah well, the scan had other ideas. So the chiropractor comes into the room after looking at my scan and he's like are you stressed, have you got a lot going on? And I looked at him with a cocked eyebrow and kind of shrugged and I said, well, no more than usual, secretly knowing full well that my life is not entirely in alignment with my goals and my vision, but intellectually had made peace with my situation in the knowing that this too shall pass.
Speaker 1:But what came up on the scan was that my parasympathetic nervous system was fucked Like in the red zone, as close to the edge of the chart as scientifically possible, angry, raging kind of results that I was in no way expecting. I mean, I was just there to check on my shoulder. So this scan result paired with my new insight that me and my Enneagram 9 type have, among other things, avoidant tendencies, really underlined the universal truth the body knows and the body never lies. So we all know that there's a part of our nervous system that's fight or flight right. So what I learned next was that your parasympathetic nervous system is the rest and digest side of the nervous system and it's mega dysregulated and it means that my body is having a hard time calming down and recovering and feeling safe, even when the stressor is gone. So my body was carrying stress that my brain couldn't logic away and left untreated.
Speaker 1:This can leave you feeling stuck in chronic stress, emotional exhaustion or even shutdown mode, and instead of feeling calm and grounded, you might feel a certain type of way. So let's break it down so that if you have any of these symptoms, you can identify it and take action for yourself. So you might be dysregulated if you've got a kind of tired that no amount of sleep can fix, or you feel numb, you disassociate or you feel emotionally flat. Other symptoms include low energy, sluggish digestion, feeling foggy, shutting down when stress kicks in instead of actually confronting the issue, or maybe you withdraw from other people, even when connection would help, because you'd have to admit that something is up. So best not discuss it at all. And remember how I said the body never lies. Check your heart rate, because low heart rate variability could be a marker of a poor nervous system. But all is not lost. This does not have to be a permanent state. So let's look at what helps.
Speaker 1:The headline here is make it gentle, make it soft. I'm talking slow, deep breathing. I'm talking gentle movement, like walking or stretching, because, remember, it's movement, not punishment. So I'm talking mindfulness, grounding practices like put your feet in the grass barefoot, point your face to the sun. And time in nature is a gift, not something to be taken for granted. Never underestimate the power of even a small amount of time in nature. I used to think that if it wasn't a weekend at Lake of the Woods, then what's the point? But turns out an afternoon walk around the local park can still do wonders. And then there's your tribe.
Speaker 1:Community is key, and not just any community People that you feel safe with, that you trust to hold space for you and your process and your feelings. This is safe connections with other people and that's co-regulation. And when I say community, it doesn't is safe connections with other people, and that's co -regulation. And when I say community, it doesn't have to be a million people. If you've got that one bestie that just knows you and sees you and helps you feel seen and heard, that's your community. Because it's not about calming down on demand, it's about creating conditions for safety so that your body knows that it's okay to relax.
Speaker 1:So it turns out that my chiropractic care wasn't just for my body but it was for the energy that I was holding on to and I realized I've been carrying way too much on my shoulders Anybody else, which actually brings me to the third component of my self-care trifecta, and this is the theta healing dude. When I tell you that this unlocked everything I didn't know I needed to know, I mean it from the cockles of my heart. Thanks to the amazing, skilled, talented, beautiful, insightful, intuitive guide, me, who led my session, I unlocked a belief that I didn't even realize was holding me back. I have major internal conflict when it comes to safety. My relationship with my dad is way more complex than I was admitting to myself, and I have a huge avoidance blocks when it comes to responsibility.
Speaker 1:Shaboom, bombs dropped, insights illuminated, blind spots exposed and emotions released. I felt cracked open after our session, really exposed but like in the best way. And then from there I took her advice and drank all the water to recalibrate on a cellular level, because that healing was intense in all the right ways. And then I spent the next two days being really gentle with myself lots of rest, lots of checking in with myself and being like how you doing, what do you need? And tending to myself the best way that I could. And then the coolest thing happened Feeling a little uninspired by my regular to-do list, I decided to clean my room, clean space, clean mind right.
Speaker 1:So in the process of doing so, I accidentally if you believe in that kind of thing stumbled on a photograph of none other than little Steph, so cute, so sweet, so craving attention and love. So I took that photo and I immediately placed it on my wall so that I can rekindle my connection with her, just bring her into my consciousness and start to show her some of the love that she so desperately craved and really tend to that part of myself. That was a bit of an open wound that had gone unchecked for some time and, to be honest, it felt like quite the responsible thing to do. I felt like I doubled down on my self-awareness and had a clearer picture of what my immediate needs really were, and had a clearer picture of what my immediate needs really were and then from there, how to take the first steps to connect with my personal growth and resolution of the things that I'd been hiding in the self-imposed shadows Because fruit doesn't grow in the dark and each of these things created a ripple, but none of it would have mattered if I wasn't willing to feel uncomfortable when all that stuff came up.
Speaker 1:And that's the mojo magic Not just doing the thing, but letting them move you. So here's what I want you to remember Is that mojo. It's magnetic, but it's also messy and toxic. Positivity it's a buzzword flying around out there and it is sneaky, but you don't have to fall for it, because real self care won't always look pretty, but you'll know the difference, because it will always bring you closer to your truth. And you don't have to fix everything and I'm using hardcore quote marks around the fix part, because you're not broken, you're becoming, you're remembering, and you certainly do not have to stay positive 100% of the time. You just have to stay honest because when you choose real over perfect presence, over performance. That's where Mojo lives.
Speaker 1:Oh, friend, thanks for hanging out with me today, and if this episode hit home or sparked something for you, I'd love to hear about it and definitely share this episode with someone who needs a little mojo reminder. And hey, if you haven't grabbed your copy of Small Shifts Massive Mojo yet, the link is in the show notes and it's full of simple ways to build real momentum, one honest moment at a time. And just like that, you've got your very own pocketful of mojo. So until next time, take care of you, be real with your feelings and never forget. You've already got the magic. Now go use it. So be sure to tune in next week when we talk about how to go from loneliness to loving the solitude. So until then, stay fabulous, stay kind and put love in everything you do. Ciao, for now, mwah.
