Pocketful of Mojo
Pocketful of Mojo
Friendship & Leadership: Power Move or Plot Twist?
Ever wondered if you can truly be a friend and a leader at the same time? In this candid exploration of the friendship-leadership dynamic, we dive into the beautiful complexities and potential pitfalls of building your empire alongside those you love most.
The science is fascinating—when women engage in meaningful conversation with emotional bonding, our brains release oxytocin, literally calming our nervous systems and creating biological resilience. We're wired for connection, which makes the idea of building businesses with our besties so appealing. But as we discover through conversations with various entrepreneurs, this blending requires intentionality and clear boundaries to truly thrive.
From Olivia who champions the "two people against one problem" approach that's revolutionized her business partnership with her bestie, to Shelly who maintains a firm "hard pass" on mixing friendship with leadership roles, we hear diverse perspectives that illuminate both the rewards and risks. The magic happens in the middle ground—where trust and role clarity meet, where honest conversations happen without a heavy hand, and where supporting each other's success becomes the foundation rather than an afterthought.
For my recovering people-pleasers, this episode offers a powerful wake-up call. Leadership gets complicated when you're wired to keep the peace and ensure everyone's happiness at your own expense. Friendship in business can become a hiding place—a reason to avoid necessary conflict or tolerate misaligned behavior. But hear this: sacrificing your standards to protect someone's feelings isn't kindness; it's self-abandonment in disguise. You deserve to lead with both love and boundaries, creating spaces where everyone can rise authentically.
Ready to build relationships that fuel your mission rather than drain your energy? Listen now, and remember—protecting your peace isn't disloyal. That's leadership.
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hey, friend, it's steph your mojo. Maven here and welcome to pocket full of mojo, where we don't do fluff, we do fire. This is your weekly wake-up call to ditch the doubt, own your power and strut into your next level. In today's episode we're talking friendship and leadership power combo or ticking time bomb. So welcome you, lovely creature. You've come for the mojo and you want to stay for the takeaways. So, without further ado, let's let it up you legend. Let's let it up you legend.
Speaker 1:We are in the boss babe era of the world and birthing more lady leaders than ever before. Leading with feminine energy is shocker kind of new. So this trailblazing is fun and exhilarating. We love the idea of building with our besties, leading with love and creating magic with people we actually like. We bit of a pivot from the old patriarchy man's club I know I grew up in.
Speaker 1:But real talk, mixing friendship and leadership, can be tricky territory. The lines blur, feelings get involved and if you're not careful you'll find yourself babysitting egos instead of leading boldly. In this convo, we're unpacking the risks, the rewards and how to protect your peace and your power when relationships and roles collide. So let's talk about something that no one really prepares you for when you start chasing big dreams? What happens when friendship and leadership mix Sounds dreamy right. Build your empire with your besties, lead a team that feels like family, create connections that fuel your fire and listen. When it works, it's magic. There's trust, there's laughter, there's a shorthand, there's I've got your back energy that makes everything fun and smoother. And here's a fun fact I learned on the old internet when women talk to each other and have like meaningful conversation and there's an emotional bond, that happens.
Speaker 1:The brain releases oxytocin, which means female friendships are literally calming your nervous system, because oxytocin is linked to feelings of trust and connection and safety and emotional regulation. It's the same hormone released during physical touch or breastfeeding and childbirth, literally wired into our biology to create calm and connection. And for my queens in particular, this is extra significant. There's some research that they did at UCLA where they found that women under stress are more likely to engage, what's called a tend and befriend response. Think fight or flight, but gentle. They instinctively seek out connection, comfort and community as a way to regulate their nervous system and cope with challenges. We're better as a tribe. So when you're talking with a trusted friend, sharing your truth and laughing and venting and bitching and supporting each other. Cheerleading, you're not just bonding emotionally. You're lowering your cortisol levels, which helps to regulate your nervous system, and it boosts your resilience. You get back on your feet faster and it just improves your overall emotional health.
Speaker 1:So the takeaway here is that female friendships aren't a luxury. They're a biological bomb. They're healing, they're grounding and literally helping us hold it all together, because you know we'd be doing that. People who hype each other up are a different kind of magic. This episode is a call out to get yourself a circle that doesn't just see you glow, they amplify it. Those are your people. But let's get real for a second. When boundaries blur, the roles get muddy and expectations aren't clear, and it can turn into this messy soup of miscommunication, resentment and just drama that you didn't sign up for. So today we're unpacking the pros and cons, the traps, the triumphs, the what to actually look out for when friendships and leaderships come together. So let's start by unpacking the pros, because when it's good, it's gold.
Speaker 1:When I first started writing this episode, it was only going to be about friendship, but the idea evolved after I went to this networking event earlier this week. It's this really unique framework for networking and it's called small talks and it's like networking that kind of looks like speed dating. So you sit with one entrepreneur, chat for 10 minutes on the specific subject this month it was leadership and then a bell rings and you move along to the next entrepreneur. One stays put, one moves along, brilliant right. So I'm navigating this event and talking to these powerful, insightful entrepreneurs and it dawned on me that we're living in this really interesting time in our history where we're creating and navigating personal and professional relationships differently than we ever have before, on a scale we've never seen.
Speaker 1:Now, the last time I was a leader of a team, I was fully entrenched, in the height of my people-pleasing abilities and just wanted everyone to like me and my role was to keep everyone happy, keep the peace. And since I've come a long way from that place, I wanted to take my query to the streets and talk to people who are leading their businesses and discover what's the relationship between friendship and leadership. And boy did I get some juicy insights Like take my new friend Olivia, for example. She's in graphic design and she took the bold badass babe move to start her own thing. And the only thing better than one badass babe with a vision is two of them. So she launched her own show with her bestie.
Speaker 1:Now, olivia was a huge inspo for this episode because she really had her finger on the pulse of how to make it work, and the impression that she gave me was that she couldn't even imagine leading any other way. So I naturally asked her what's the secret? And here's what she said. She came in hot when I asked what's the biggest impact of having a business with your bestie and her answer was trust. Trust is built in she's like you know each other, you've been in the trenches and that can create this rock solid foundation for collaboration and creative flow.
Speaker 1:Now, when she mentioned trust, I immediately leaned in, because what I know for sure is that trust is really built when things are hard and not when they're easy. So I asked what's the secret? And her answer actually surprised me. She said that trust is built by having the courage to have the hard conversations and because it's with someone that you love and respect and admire and you want them to win and you want them to win with you. There's extra motivation and solid framework for what that looks like and I was like, okay, what does that look like and she talked about that when there was a problem or a failure or a conflict, that they shoulder it together. They share the load. That's two people against one problem was how she put it. I just thought that was so great because it takes all the emotion out of it and they find a solution twice as fast. No hard feelings, no mentality of your problem, you fix it. That creates the divides and the isolation. True collaboration, free of ego and competition. So healthy, so 2025. And she shared that communication actually can be easier. How's that for a mindset shift?
Speaker 1:She told me about how there's this shorthand, this shared language, this willingness to cut through the bullshit and the fluff, but also she kept saying that you can say hard things without a heavy hand. And she just she acted out this perfect example, like if something tricky needed to be communicated or somebody fucked up or there was an accountability gap. The approach wasn't like, hey, what the fuck? Like, what about this? Or not saying anything at all, which is even perhaps worse. Is she just kind of? You know, you walk into the office and you're like, hey, you got a minute, there's this thing, we got to talk about this thing, and then you just create this container of respect and love so that the information can be properly heard and not clouded by emotions or create pain from a lack of respect, something that you don't have to look too hard to find in a more traditional work setting. Truth is, people are more likely to hear you when they aren't threatened by the way that it's being said. Find a better example of leading with feminine energy. I'll wait Now.
Speaker 1:Olivia talked about how this business friendship is actually their superpower and they actively see it that way. She talked about how it influences how they show up for themselves as well as each other, because, let's be honest, it feels good when your bestie is winning. That's got to be a universal truth, right, like it feels even better when you're both on the podium. Let's not pretend it doesn't, or that there has to be drama or hardship in order to win. What if we didn't have drama? I'm not saying it wouldn't flow without challenge, but I'm realistic about what that would look like. But there's something deeply satisfying about succeeding alongside people you love and failing know that you're going to continue to be loved unconditionally. And what Olivia shared with me was that when they both have a vested interest in success, it's like you've doubled down on your intent to succeed and there are two of you working in the same direction with the full support of each other, and there's an inherent confidence built into that plan. Now maybe you're listening to this and your instincts are more like Shelly's.
Speaker 1:Shelly was the next stop on this networking circuit and let me tell you she is here to point out the cons. Shelly was a hard no and really laid it out for me what it can look like when things get tricky. So after I asked Shelly what she thought about the relationship between friendship and leadership, she couldn't have been more resolved, hard pass, and I love a queen with a firm point of view. So I dug in further. When I asked her to tell me more, she couldn't have been more clear. It's too messy. Boundaries blur. Are you the boss or the bestie, the collaborator, the confidant? It gets murky really fast. Now I could tell right away. This girl could lead a master class in boundaries, and she said it was a lesson that she learned early from her dad, interestingly enough, that business and friendship do not mix. As a boss, I don't care that your dog is sick and that's why you're two hours late for work, but as a friend I want to know is little Rusty doing? Okay, you know, and don't get it twisted. Shelly backed up her stance by clarifying that a good work environment can still be humane and friendly and compassionate, but role clarity is queen when you're working with Shelly. She warned that when working with friends, the feedback gets filtered.
Speaker 1:Sometimes we don't say the hard thing because we don't want to hurt someone we care about. You hear me, people pleasers and that's how mediocrity sneaks in and trust quietly erodes and then everyone's got a whole different story in their head and expectations get unspoken and assumptions replace actual conversations. And we all know what assumptions do. And if you're not careful, resentment builds Ugh. Resentment is a hard bell to unring. If one person is carrying more weight or not feeling heard, it doesn't take long before things get heavy. You can't fly as high when you're carrying extra weight, especially when that weight's not yours. And this doesn't just pop up when we're working directly with our friends.
Speaker 1:Sometimes we want to collaborate with our friends and our colleagues or hire them for a short-term project to show support. But we can get caught in this weird spot if we keep our friend blinders on, like would you hire them if you didn't know them. Do they have testimonials and proof that they can solve the problem that you're trying to conquer? Maybe, maybe not, but I've seen more than one friendship get strained or fall into a weird place because they didn't know how to navigate the tough conversations or were necessarily prepared for feedback and insights that weren't on the contract. So then the bell rings and turns out the next conversation.
Speaker 1:I had added even more perspective to this particular conundrum, so I moseyed on over to sit with my girl Megan, an exceptional leader and colleague, and I was excited to get her tick and then, surprisingly, I got more of a proceed with caution, vibe. So I keep talking with her and she had a really good grip on some of these common traps that can pop up when you're working closely with a friend. So here's what she said Working with friends without role clarity is like building a business on quicksand. Just because you vibe doesn't mean they're right for the role or that they respect you as a leader. Perception can be really tricky and when there's friendship involved and history to lean on, there can be assumptions and projections. Maybe they're valid, maybe they're not, but if you don't go into the nitty-gritty black and white, everything from A to Z create the right framework for communication, things can get really muddy really fast.
Speaker 1:She said and I love this if regular check-ins and communication is not normalized, then every conversation becomes a tough conversation, because business conversations can sound and feel a lot different than the chats that you have when you're going for a walk or going for a coffee. So that foreign feeling can cause us to defer or deflect and avoid any conversation. That sounds too formal because that's not the kind of communication you've had in the past, and this can lead to overgiving. You go into friend mode. You start rescuing, fixing, making too many exceptions, ignoring your own needs, and this can lead to overgiving. You go into friend mode. You start rescuing, fixing, making too many exceptions, ignoring your own needs, and this can be a normal instinct for wanting to do what's right and keep the peace, even if it takes you out of your lane, because you're doing it from the intention of support, like you would for a friend. Right, that's not leadership, though. Right, that's not leadership, though, that's self-abandonment, with a smile on for a paycheck, and it's the slow road to get where you want to go.
Speaker 1:And she said it'll show up when you're avoiding tough conversations, when you see that opportunity to talk about the thing and then you don't say it because it's not a good time and all that other thing just happened and eventually the business is going to suffer Like that's pretty much a guarantee, and by nature, of the undefined relationship. If you haven't defined the relationship, you're going to find yourself expecting loyalty over performance because you had their back so many times. But friendship isn't a substitute for follow through. You need both and both of you need to be super clear on what it looks like and what role each of you play in making that happen. She said get specific about it and do it early Now.
Speaker 1:We can also look at friendship and leadership from a different angle. What if we're not working directly with our friends but they're an ally in our ventures? How does this impact our path? Which takes me to the conversation I had with my girl, kelsey. She almost fell out of her chair with enthusiasm at the idea that friendship and community is everything when it comes to entrepreneurship. She said it's at the heart and soul of everything.
Speaker 1:She talked about how having someone to reflect where you are back to you is so insightful and to have someone in your corner loving you unconditionally. Just having someone else who wants you to win. That kind of cheerleading for her was so important, especially as a solopreneur, because I can tell you it can get lonely and isolating and you're working in a vacuum and you're chasing after likes as some kind of a measurement of where you're at. But having those real human supports and people in your life who are going to love you, win or lose, that is priceless. She also said that sometimes we come across the people who support us in ways that we don't necessarily ask for, like the friend we want to vent to about something, but instead of listening, they come in hard with a solution when all we really want is to be heard, you know. So yeah, that's.
Speaker 1:It's a kind of a rich angle because when your friends aren't directly in the trenches with you but they're still emotionally invested, cheering you on, offering feedback, sharing your wins and your content, being supportive and sometimes unexpectedly complicated, so when friends are allies, not partners, here's what it means for your path. When you've got friends that aren't employees, teammates, business partners, but they're still in your corner, you've got a powerful support system. These are the people who share your posts. They clap the loudest when you win. They believe in your vision, even if they don't fully understand it. That is gold. It's emotional fuel for the long haul journey.
Speaker 1:But I got to be honest, it can also come with some unexpected emotional hurdles that you kind of have to have a heads up for. But let's first look at the rewards, because you get that unfiltered encouragement right. They're easier to impress, there's not a lot of logistics involved and it's like just genuine hype, like there's no strings, there's just support. And now you've got this safe space Because they're not tangled in the business itself, they don't have a horse in the race. So you can vent, you can brainstorm or just talk out loud and have someone bounce ideas off of you without worrying if it'll affect operations. And it gives you an outside perspective. They see your blind spot, they remind you who you are when the world gets loud and you forget. And they're your friends. So you've got shared values. Often the friends who show up in this way are really aligned with your mission. So their support feels real and feels rooted.
Speaker 1:But here comes the PSA. There's going to be some risks and some hurdles. So this is your heads up so that you can get ahead of it before it gets sticky. Okay, so these are some of the risks and hurdles, because one of the things that you're going to potentially come across is the expectation versus the entitlement. So, like this would be, when friends expect special treatment like discounts and shout outs and behind the scenes access without actually asking for it, because they've been supporting you, if they feel entitled for you to like, make it up to them, even if it's not, that's not, that's not, that's not the jam, that's not the agreement which might actually cause that support to shift. So maybe they were ride or die at first, but now they're quieter and that silence can feel really loud and it's very tempting to take it personally, especially if you're someone who gives a lot.
Speaker 1:We often cheer the way we want to be cheered for, and you'll also want to be aware of something that's called emotional over-resilience, because it's tempting to turn a supportive friend into an unofficial coach or sounding board for absolutely everything, especially if they're really good at it. So the caution here is that that can quietly exhaust them. They may want to talk to you about something else at some point and they're your friend, so they're going to be slow to tell you. But if you leave this unchecked, it can skew the friendship dynamic and that's hard to win back. Ooh, and one more pothole to look out for and it's not cute but it's real. There can be some unspoken jealousy or comparison, especially if they're also kind of doing what you do like if you're a couple of entrepreneurs, of doing what you do like.
Speaker 1:If you're a couple of entrepreneurs, if either one of you experiences growth or goes viral or, you know, pops your cherry on your latest goal, it might change the vibe. Your wins might trigger something in them and if it's unspoken, there might be tension. There might be something unsaid, there might be a little vibe that's off, just something to put on the radar. So this is just what you want to watch out for and how to keep it clean. You want to first check your expectations. Does anyone but you know what they are? Are you expecting them to show up like a team member when they're just a cheerleader? Because that's a mismatch. You're going to want to be mindful of the emotional labor. Is this friend becoming your therapist, your strategist, your spiritual hype woman all in one? They might need a little breathing room.
Speaker 1:Be sure to schedule a work-free breakfast date or a no business allowed night out and frame it as self-care and just nurture the root of your relationship, the friend part. Give the leader a night off. And the next key celebrate, don't compete. Keep the friendship sacred by removing the scoreboards. Stop keeping track of the tit for tat. Not everyone claps loudly and that doesn't mean that they don't care. You made a post and they didn't like it. That has to be okay with you. Remind yourself all the other ways that they show up for you and, of course, lead with gratitude. Right Like a quick thanks for being in my corner goes a long way. A little handwritten note buy them a Slurpee.
Speaker 1:Friends aren't obligated to show up for your business, but when they do, that can be magic. So to wrap up, friendship doesn't have to be entangled in your business to be impactful. When you honor the role your friends play, without overloading or under appreciating them, you get to experience leadership and connection without the messy bits, you know, but I got time for that. Because when you're clear, honest and boundaried, you can create a team culture that's rooted in respect and connection. You can build partnerships that grow with you, not ones that quietly resent your success, and you can create space for everyone to rise, not just you. That's powerful leadership. So be on the lookout. Look for people who don't just like you but respect you. Look for friends who can handle honest feedback and give it too. Pair up with teammates you want to win with. So at the end of the day, business is personal, but it can't be too personal.
Speaker 1:Leadership isn't about choosing between being kind and being clear. It's about being both. Your higher self already knows when something's out of alignment. You just have to be brave enough to listen and bold enough to speak. So the next time you're blending friendship with leadership, just ask yourself is this serving my mission, my growth and my integrity? And if it's a yes, go, build an empire together. If it's a no, bless and release with love, because protecting your peace is not disloyal. That's leadership, and remember my recovering people pleasers.
Speaker 1:Leadership gets complicated when you're wired to keep the peace, avoid conflict and make sure everyone else is okay, often at your own expense. Friendship in business can feel safe, but it can also become a hiding place, a way to avoid hard conversations, a reason to tolerate behavior that doesn't align. You might find yourself overextending, undercharging, taking on extra emotional labor or bending your boundaries just to keep the vibe good, but hear this sacrificing your standards to protect someone's feelings isn't kindness, it's self-abandonment in disguise. And no mission, no brand, no business can thrive if you're constantly choosing comfort over clarity. So when you're leading from the higher self and not the fear of being misunderstood, everything shifts. You stop managing other people's emotions and start managing your own energy. You get to be honest and compassionate, firm and kind, boundaried and deeply respected.
Speaker 1:Friendship and leadership can absolutely thrive together, but only when your people know how to handle the whole you, not just the agreeable version. So lead with love, not with guilt. And remember you weren't made to be palatable, you were made to be powerful. And just like that you've got a little bit more insight, a little bit more clarity and your very own pocketful of mojo. You can carry it with you because now you're on a path to a life you love, so that you can love the life you live.
Speaker 1:So here's our tiny but mighty challenge for the week. My friends Reach out to a friend that helps regulate your nervous system just by being in your life. Let them know that kind of connection. It's more precious than gold. Nurture it, buy them flowers, buy them chocolates, handwrite a note, feed it. So until next time, keep leading with love. Stay rooted in your truth and remember you don't have to have it all together to be powerful. You just need Mojo. Remember Mojo Reno's. Our time on this planet is finite, but the love we can have and share and experience, babe, that's infinite. Go spend it wildly. Check out the show notes for more ways to tap into your mojo. Thank you for all your reviews and subscriptions. So until next time, I could just kind of get you to stay fabulous, stay kind and put love in everything you do. Ciao for now.
