Pocketful of Mojo
Pocketful of Mojo
Done is Better Than Perfect (And Other Hard Truths)
Perfectionism can hinder our progress and self-worth, making us feel inadequate when we don't meet unrealistic standards. This episode explores the traps of perfectionism, offering strategies for embracing imperfection and reclaiming our confidence.
• Examines the mantra "I am allowed the grace of imperfection"
• Defines pitfalls of perfectionism: all-or-nothing thinking, validation loops, fear of failure
• Discusses the productivity paradox and its effects on our creativity
• Encourages listeners to apply the 80% rule and embrace unfinished work
• Promotes separating self-worth from work to reduce pressure and anxiety
• Suggests letting imperfection be a teacher and learning from mistakes
• Challenges listeners to share their imperfect wins and celebrate progress
Join us in boosting our collective mojo and learning to thrive in our imperfections.
Need help tapping into your Mojo? See ya later brain fog- these gummies are game changers! 15% OFF!
Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.
More Mojo: https://linktr.ee/moststephinately
Daily Mojo: https://www.instagram.com/most_stephinately/
Mojo Website: https://moststephinately.godaddysites.com/
Music from #Uppbeat
https://uppbeat.io/t/mountaineer/run-away
When you find yourself going over that email for the 80th time or you get that knot in your stomach because the final result just doesn't seem to be coming together exactly as you wanted it to. This is for you. Chances are that email was good enough, but you hold yourself to some impossible standard. How about you? Do you ever feel like, no matter how much you do, it's never quite enough, to the point where it takes your breath away? That's perfectionism talking. And guess what? It's lying to you. Now, before you get it twisted, sister, this is not about lowering your standards. It's about recognizing when high standards turns into self-sabotage. Let's unpack this together and remind ourselves that ready isn't a feeling and get back to delivering our best and stop waiting for perfection.
Speaker 1:Welcome to Pocketful of Mojo, where you're you and I'm Steph, and we tune in here to tap into some mojo. And if you're new here and asking what's mojo, well, mojo is that feeling of unshakable confidence, that booming self-worth. Like you're an unstoppable force of nature, and I'm here to show you how you can have that feeling every single day. You see, I think I've cracked the code to being happy. I'm happy all the freaking time every day, at least most of the day, possibly to an annoying degree, but hey, I wasn't always this way. And not to flex, but I have had breakdowns on multiple continents and into languages. And look, three years ago my whole life was a dumpster fire and today I'm better than I've ever been, and how Well? By paying attention and by living with more intention. And I've curated this self-love first aid kit full of amazing tools that help me level up and navigate life with that main character energy. The kind of tools I'm talking about are like confidence, self-worth, boundaries and all of the things you were born with. They just might be taking a nap and I'm not here to gatekeep. In fact, I'm on a mission to help you tap into your best stuff and remember that you have everything you need to live your life on your own terms. So in today's episode, we're going to discuss the traps and the pitfalls of perfectionism. We're going to unpack perfectionism and what to do instead and how to untangle your self-worth from an end result Juicy stuff. So settle in. We are here for some positive change, so let's dig in to where your mojo meets the road. Positive change, so let's dig in to where your mojo meets the road.
Speaker 1:Hello and welcome to the third episode of the second season of Pocketful of Mojo. Once again, I'm Steph. I'm your mojo maven, your emotional Sherpa, that friend that you can talk about your feelings with, and I'm so glad you're here. Quick reminder am I a therapist? No, do I have a degree in psychology? Also, no, I'm a flawed human and a recovering people pleaser. Who's just happened to figure out how to tap into our best stuff? We are literally born with everything we need. So I'm here to reflect your awesomeness back to you. We're going to smash some limiting beliefs and hook you up with some inspiration and motivation to live the life you love and love the life you live you in. Let's go.
Speaker 1:Let's start with a quick mantra and set the stage for a great show. The mantra this week is I'm allowed the grace of imperfection. This one's going to be good. Let's rip it apart and see what we can find here. I am allowed the grace of imperfection. Here comes another amazing I am mantra. And this one is poised not to disappoint.
Speaker 1:Because here's the thing there's many different schools of thought about perfection. Some say it doesn't exist, some say it's all around us. I like to think of nature when I think about perfection. It doesn't compare itself to anything else and it happens on its own time or not, depending on the environment. And there's a lot of perfection in beauty and nature. But I think what's important for our purposes is to pull a little from that and to reconsider and redefine what we think perfection is. And that's where grace comes into play. I am allowed the grace of imperfection.
Speaker 1:The grace of imperfection refers to the letting go. This is your invitation to release your clutch on that very hyper-specific result or the outcome, because this is where fear lives. This is where expectation comes to steal our joy. This is where we get confused and forget our inherent magic and make the very human mistake of tying our worth or worthiness to this one specific outcome. Now, this was a valuable system. When we were little, we were learning the basics. Some things have a right and a wrong way to do it. But if we're not careful, we end up thinking that it's like that for everything, and I'm here to say that life is more nuanced than that after the age of about five. Beauty lives in the mistakes, and it's in the chips and the cracks that we uncover value. We shouldn't fear these things. So it's time to rebrand, it's time to rewire, and that's what we're here to do.
Speaker 1:I am allowed the grace of imperfection. This mantra is you giving yourself the permission slip, the permission to slip the agreement that you make with yourself that you can fall, you can get back up, you can try new things, you can fuck it up. You can start one thing and end up somewhere completely different. Because perfection, whilst tantalizing and shiny, it, doesn't teach us anything. And I believe that we're put here on this earth for a teeny, tiny amount of time to do two things to serve and to experience. That's it. There's no tally at the end with a gold star for the person who made the fewest mistakes, end with a gold star for the person who made the fewest mistakes or was able to get the most done. There's no trophy for best at playing it safe. Because when you afford yourself this grace, when you start to take bigger swings, when you fall and watch yourself get back up again, this is where confidence lives, this is where resilience is built, this is where the next great idea comes from. It comes from imperfection. I am allowed the grace of imperfection. Oh man, are you feeling fired up? Because I am. It's like losing 10 pounds overnight and feeling like everything just fits a little better metaphorically speaking, of course and it just feels like we're more free to just be.
Speaker 1:So, now that we're sitting in an empowered place, let's dissect this and fully understand where we stand when we're staring down the barrel of that pesky pest known as perfectionism. Let's start by first looking at the traps and the pitfalls of perfectionism. There's four towering traps that can creep in over time, and if you feel like any of these resonate with you, then know that you're not alone and you're not done, for this life is not a one and done. We are not one thing. What we were does not define who we are now or who we're going to be, and with intention and by paying attention, we can unravel these traps, and when we see them coming, they have less power. So let's dive in.
Speaker 1:First, there's the all or nothing mindset, that if it's not perfect, it's worthless, and what this does is it leads to procrastination and burnout or just never finishing things, and this pops up quite often when we're starting something new and we don't have a clear roadmap ahead for how we want to get where we want to go. One of the other things that this mindset leads to is overwhelm. If I can't do all the things, then I will just do none of the things. And I felt this a lot when I first started my business. I wanted to have a podcast and a blog and the posts and the marketing and the book and the course. And guess what? Burnout showed up to show me who's boss.
Speaker 1:And just because you're trying to eat the elephant doesn't mean that you have to take elephant sized bites. So what you have to take, elephant-sized bites. So what you want to remember here is that when you put one foot in front of the other, on your own time, at your own pace, the path often reveals itself. We can't always know where we're going from, where we are. Sometimes we have to make it halfway through the journey before we can make decisions we need to make to get us the rest of the way. This is where we need to remind ourselves of our ability to problem solve, to ask for help and to have the humility to say I don't know.
Speaker 1:This mindset is often in place as a protector of our ego and to prevent us from having to be vulnerable. If that's a place where you feel uncomfortable, and that's okay, take a beat, look around and find a safe way to loop in an expert or do the research that you need to take the next steps, because, babe, you can do anything, but you don't have to do everything. And next there's the validation loop. Perfectionism often isn't about being great, it's often about being approved of, and if your worth is tied to how flawless you appear, you are on an exhausting hamster wheel. The most important opinion there is is the one that you have of yourself, period. And that doesn't mean that we don't want to have approval of the people that we love and respect, and it's not a bad thing. To be clear, the danger comes when your worth only comes at the approval of others. But what if nobody had anything to say? What if there was no one around to give you feedback? And what if that feedback is flawed or incomplete? There's a lot on the line if you're willing to hand over your self-image and your self-worth to someone. So this is your opportunity to reclaim your power, and remember that opinions are like assholes Everybody has one, and what other people think of you good or bad is also kind of none of your business. Think of you good or bad is also kind of none of your business until you've developed that solid feedback loop with yourself and can stand firm in taking on feedback, unencumbered by how it will impact how you see yourself.
Speaker 1:Then there's the costume ball the fear that masquerades as excellence. Because here's the truth, folks perfectionism is just fear. In a fancy outfit, you may stop yourself from doing something or finishing something, or sharing something, because it's not done to perfection in your mind. Or is it really? I'm afraid of failing, I'm afraid of judgment, I'm afraid of rejection, and this reminds me of a text message that I had to send one time. It took me over 40 minutes to write one text message and I almost had to phone a friend for validation, but I ended up catching myself. You see, I'd come to a place in my life where I had to ask for help, assert myself and stand up for what I needed, and a few years ago, these things topped my list of things that I was the most scared of. But I had to send this text to my brothers and set boundaries and be vulnerable, and I'll never forget.
Speaker 1:I was sitting in a mall, texting away, deleting rewriting, reflecting rewording, because I didn't want to sound too bossy and I didn't want the words to land wrong. Blah, blah, blah. Look, looking back now, it was adorable how mindful I thought I was being, and I wanted to say it with just the right words. And I wanted to say just the right thing and get my point across in just the right way, or at least that's what I was telling myself. What I was doing in actuality was delaying the hit send button as long as I could because I feared that on the other end would be rejection or I wouldn't feel heard or understood. And I kept telling myself, if I just pick the right words, it'll be fine. But what I needed to do was just be me and trust the rest. I realized that once I'd written my 700th draft of that text that hitting send was the actual fear. Then the smart voice inside my head popped up and said you'll figure it out. There'll be more messages and bloop, just like that. I hit send Done is better than perfect, you'll figure it out.
Speaker 1:And then there's the productivity paradox. The more you obsess over the details, the less you actually get done. Now this one can show up in a couple of different ways. Have you ever ended your day exhausted by doing a million things that weren't on your list, simply because tackling the big thing was too much to take on. Like I'll clean the whole house before sitting down to do that task that I kind of know how to do, but I know I won't be perfect at it right away, so I'd rather fold towels, because I'm an ace at that, or fiddling around with the font or the color blocking on that post that you made when you could be writing that novel that you've been thinking about for years, but you don't really know where to start. So you'll just do this a little longer and hopefully I don't know maybe you'll be struck by some magical inspiration that'll get the book written for you Somehow right.
Speaker 1:Look, the stories we tell ourselves are not always in our best interest. We have to be the detective sometimes and interrogate our thoughts and the silly stories in order to get to the root, where the truth actually lives. When we give ourselves grace, like we did in our mantra earlier, we can call ourselves out, lick the wounds of our bruised ego and put on our grown-up pants and just do the thing. Do it wrong and maybe do it a couple of times, and then you'll find your lane. All that circling around is just honoring the fear, the fear that isn't serving you. In fact, it's holding you back. So remember who's in charge here and go follow your biggest dreams. When you have the right mindset, you'll fail forward and learn along the way and show up on the other side stronger, wiser and resilient as fuck.
Speaker 1:So let's shift into unpacking perfectionism. This is what we're going to do instead. This is the juicy stuff. This is where that comes in, and now that we know what we don't want, we're going to have to replace it with some strategies and some tactics and some actions that might be new, but they are going to serve darling, because, remember, this isn't about doing more, it's about doing differently. So let's dig in Step one. We're going to challenge the perfect or bust mentality. So we're going challenge the perfect or bust mentality, so we're gonna reframe. Instead of perfect, we're gonna aim for effective or meaningful.
Speaker 1:I want you to reflect for a second and think what's one thing that I've been holding back on? Because it's quote unquote not ready yet, and we know ready is not a feeling. So then think a little bit more. What's the worst that happens if you put it out there as it is now? And if you want to check, let's go to step number two. It's the 80% rule. Let's go to step number two. It's the 80% rule. Perfectionists tend to get stuck and hold things back from being executed at about 95% to 98%. So the mantra here is done is better than perfect. So my challenge to you try submitting or sharing or sending something that's 80% done and just notice if anybody sees these quote-unquote flaws that you get so hung up about.
Speaker 1:I personally used this tip when I was launching my YouTube podcast for the first time. I had no idea what I was doing, but I thought about the time when I was a brand new barista and my first latte. It probably wasn't great. I likely made mistakes and maybe even forgot a step or two, but the 20th, the 100th latte way easier and with time and grace, I was able to find my rhythm. So I just applied that to editing videos. I wasn't ready, I didn't know what I was doing, but I was prepared to do it messy and learn along the way, which comes way easier when we get into step number three.
Speaker 1:Separate your worth from your work. Your work is not you. Perfectionism comes from believing your mistakes and it comes from believing that those mistakes are failure and that that failure means that you're unworthy, which is a load of bullshit. So we need a self-compassion exercise. When you think of it, it's time to list three things that you've done well recently and you can't attach a but to it. It's time to give yourself your flowers, because self-celebration is not only super fun. It's key Not only to remove the pressure of getting external validation, but also to realize that there's gold to be found wherever you look for it.
Speaker 1:Separating my worth from my work was a lesson that I learned with a kick to the teeth, metaphorically speaking. I had my dream job and I poured everything I had into it. I moved cities for it and I loved it and I was really good at it. And then the economy crashed and I got laid off, and that afternoon I wandered around the mall like a zombie, completely disconnected from who I was. Without this job, I had no balance in my life. I had no hobbies, I had no friends. This job was my everything. So it was a huge wake up call, and one that I don't recommend. You can get ahead of it, because if you're only happy when it's sunny out, what the fuck are you going to do when it rains? We need to diversify. We need to link our value and our worth to something greater than what the external world is willing to give us.
Speaker 1:So, moving on to step number four, this is where we let imperfection be your teacher. This is where we learn that messy action beats flawless hesitation. If you're not making mistakes, you're probably not doing a lot, and the mindset shift here is that every flaw is feedback, not failure. A useful tool that I use is that I give myself a minimum of five mistakes per day. That is my budget and I'm here to spend it. I am here to expect mistakes, and I encourage you to do this too. It's so freeing. Do things that cause you to make mistakes, because this allows you to show yourself how resilient you really are, and doing this every day just makes you stronger. And remember that flaws and imperfections are what helps us to stand out and it shows our humanity, and there is nothing more beautiful than that. When we say that every flaw is feedback, it just means that we're constantly learning, and that's free advice plus experience, and that's worth its weight in gold, and now is the time to go out there and mine for more.
Speaker 1:So, to recap our adventures together today perfectionism isn't about excellence. It's about fear. Action beats overthinking every single time and your work does not define your worth. So this week I challenge you to do one thing that you've been putting off. You know that thing I'm talking about, that thing that's not quite perfect. I just want you to hit, send, publish, launch, submit it whatever it is, do it and I want you to see what happens next. And then I want you to tag Mojo Mastery so that we can celebrate your progress. That's right.
Speaker 1:I'm launching a new segment where I'm inviting all of you, lovely listeners, to share your imperfect wins with me on Instagram, on the email, there's links in the show notes and you just might be featured in a future episode. That's right. I am launching these challenges to you and I want to celebrate you and uncover these everyday wins that we can have with the world. And if you want to get more into personal development but you don't know where to start, I've got you. I want to invite you to take the Mojo quiz. There's a link in the show notes and it's just five quick quiz questions. You already know the answers and in the end I give you some insight that will help you explore your own personal growth further and help you get where you want to go faster, no matter where you're at on this adventure, I'll meet you there.
Speaker 1:And all of this today has been brought to you by Mojo gummies. Cool right, these things have been a game changer for my multi-passionate brain to actually get things done and feel good doing it. My friend turned me on to them as a substitute for Adderall. So all my neurodivergent and neuro spicy friends out there, these are for you. They are all natural, they are delicious I think I have the strawberry kiwi ones they are affordable, they're vegan friendly and, most of all, they're effective. This brain fog is a thing of the past. I feel focused, undistracted, which really helps me turn into my what, that's right, my mojo. So click the link in the show notes and you will get your very own 15% off code and you can try them today.
Speaker 1:So thank you so much for tuning in today and remember, wherever you are on your mojo journey, you're not alone. You've got everything you need and you're doing great. So be sure to tune in next week, where we're going to do a little detox, how to stop apologizing for existing. So you know what to do. You're going to like, subscribe, share, comment, because it's not only good for Juju. It helps more people find the show. So before we close out, for now, remember perfectionism is just fear in a fancier outfit. Call it out, take action and get your mojo back. This has been Steph, your Mojo Maven with Pocketful of Mojo and that's all the time we have for today. And just like that, your pocket is officially packed with mojo. Use it wisely. Now go get out of here. Show the world the unstoppable force of nature. We both know you are Toodle-oo kangaroo. You.
