Pocketful of Mojo
Pocketful of Mojo
True North: How Your Values Point the Way to Happiness
Shoot me a text! I’d love to hear what you think 😀
This episode digs into the essence of self-awareness, highlighting its important role in overcoming people-pleasing tendencies and rediscovering one's authentic self. You will learn to identify patterns of over-giving, understand the significance of core values, and explore practical tools to reclaim their power.
• Exploring the concept of self-awareness
• Identifying signs of people-pleasing behaviors
• Understanding the role of core values
• Aligning actions with personal values
• Practical strategies for self-discovery
• Key takeaways for empowerment and authenticity
Make sure to share your self-awareness breakthroughs on Instagram or in the comments!
Need help tapping into your Mojo? These delicious & all natural gummies are game changers! 15% OFF!
Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.
More Mojo: https://linktr.ee/moststephinately
Daily Mojo: https://www.instagram.com/most_stephinately/
Mojo Website: https://moststephinately.godaddysites.com/
Music from #Uppbeat
https://uppbeat.io/t/mountaineer/run-away
have you ever paused to ask yourself am I doing this because I want to or because I feel like I should? If you sometimes suffer from the exhaustion of always saying yes, or maybe the frustration of losing yourself in other people's needs, then this is for you. By the end of this episode, you're going to walk away with clarity, empowerment and have practical tools to get started on your very own self-awareness adventure. Welcome to Pocketful of Mojo, where you're, you and I. I'm Steph, and we tune in here to tap into some mojo. And if you're new here and asking what's mojo, it's a fair question. You see, mojo is that feeling of unshakable confidence, that booming self-worth. Like you're an unstoppable force of nature, and I'm here how to show you how you can have that feeling every single day. You see, I think I've cracked the code to being happy. I'm happy all the freaking time, almost every day, usually most of the day, possibly to an annoying degree. But hey, I wasn't always this way, not to flex, but I have had multiple breakdowns on multiple continents and in two languages. Look, three years ago, my life dumpster fire. But now I'm better than I've ever been. How Well, by paying attention and living with more intention. And I've created this self-love first aid kit, and it's full of amazing tools that help me level up my life and navigate life with that main character energy. And I'm not here to gatekeep. In fact, I'm on a mission to help you tap into your best stuff and remember that you have everything that you need to live your life on your own terms. In today's episode, we're going to be discussing how self-awareness is the foundation of any transformation. We're going to learn how to identify if you're people pleasing, understand your core values and how to reconnect with your real self so you can break free from the cycle of overgiving and start living a life that feels aligned, fulfilling and empowering. So settle in. We're here for some positive change, so let's dig in to where your mojo meets the road.
Speaker 1:Hello and welcome to the first episode of the second season of Pocketful of Mojo. And once again, I'm Steph. I'm your mojo maven, your emotional Sherpa, that friend you can talk to about your feelings, and I'm so glad you're here. Quick reminder am I a therapist? No, do I have a degree in psychology? Also, no, I'm a flawed human and a recovering people pleaser who has just figured out how to tap into our best stuff we are literally born with everything we need. So I'm here to reflect your awesomeness back to you, so we can smash those limiting beliefs and hook up some inspiration and motivation to live the life you love and love the life you live you in. Let's go.
Speaker 1:Let's start with a quick mantra and set the stage for a great show. So this week, our mantra is I am consistently bridging the gap between my values and my words. Okay, so this one is on point with our mission today. So let's dig in. I am consistently bridging the gap between my values and my words. You know, I love a good. I am mantra. And it roots us in that ownership that gets you right back to yourself and your mindset and all that this meat suit provides. And what's great about this mantra is that it meets us where we're at. It identifies that we are human beings that are consistently in the flow of change, growth and ongoing and expanding awareness of how much we're actually in charge of this little shit show. Expanding awareness of how much we're actually in charge of this little shit show. It acknowledges that we are flawed, imperfect people that, with a little bit of grace and a whole lot of mojo, can be empowered to live in alignment with who we really want to be. Because what we know is that when there's a gap between who we are and what we say or do, there's a disconnect, and this mantra helps us remember that, with that added awareness, we can live a life of more peace, ease and confidence. When we reduce that gap, I am consistently bridging the gap between my values and my words. Look, we've all said yes to something that we didn't want to do, for plenty of reasons To keep the peace, to get it done right, obligation, or maybe we said yes to curry favor, make someone like us been there. But the thing of that is is that it takes more from your cup than it fills. We try and convince ourselves that we do it because we're nice people and we're good people. Convince ourselves that we do it because we're nice people and we're good people. But I'm here to tell you that good people, nice people, know how to say no to things they don't want to do, to things they don't feel like doing, to things that don't serve them. Happens all the time. Just look around. So when we have this new awareness, we can identify the times that there's a gap between what we want and what we say or do, then we can stand a much better chance of getting back on track and in alignment with what we know to be good for us, true to us and tune into who we want to be. I am consistently bridging the gap between my values and my words. Well, how are we going to know if we've bridged the gap between my values and my words? Well, how are we going to know if we've bridged the gap? Well, by keeping this mantra close by and repeating it every time we think we're floating off course, you're going to start to feel a shift, a little wee boost of empowerment, an aha moment where you're going to catch yourself about to say yes to something you don't want to do, but this time you check in with yourself and you say, oh, this is what Steph was talking about. You're bridging the gap. We're going to unpack this a little further. So let's settle in and get tuned in, tapped in and turned on. I am consistently bridging the gap between my values and my words.
Speaker 1:When it comes to the importance of self-awareness, it is at the heart of all things, mojo. So let's have a look at what self-awareness is exactly. So, self-awareness is your ability to understand your own thoughts, your own feelings, as well as what motivates and drives you, unapologetically of course, and when it comes to who you are, you owe no one an explanation because there's no one else like you. No one else has your experience, your education, your family, your hopes, your dreams just you. You're inherently incomparable. Remember that. Now, the key for people pleasers, like most recovery programs, is to first realize that it's a problem. When you're able to take a beat and look at who you are and realize that maybe there's a pattern of overgiving. If yes has become an auto response or just what comes out of your mouth to combat the guilt or fear of rejection, then you're in the right place. I know.
Speaker 1:For me, the aha moment really came when someone pointed out that people pleasers are often the people who take the time to make eye contact with the flight crew when giving the safety presentation before a flight, because they want to be considered a good traveler. Like what? What? The actual fuck is that? I'm sorry, that's nonsense. Now don't get me wrong. Paying attention to that is very important and it's the right thing to do, but what makes it people pleasing is the intention. I was not watching the flight crew intently, because I'm passionate about flight safety. I was watching to get the approval of those people in charge. It's the intention that sets off the people pleaser alarm. So it was thanks to that self-awareness and interrogating my intention that I was able to reveal just how many times that kind of behavior was showing up in my life. So let's get practical and have a look at how to identify when you're people pleasing.
Speaker 1:Here is a few signs that you might be peopleasing. Number one you say yes when you want to say no. This is often an indicator that you're not only people-pleasing, but you're also not standing up for yourself or have established any boundaries. Some people say yes instead of saying no simply because they don't have anything else to do. So why not help someone else? Well, my darling Mojarino, that's not how agreements work exactly. Let me explain. You're missing a filter. You're missing the filter that sifts through the requests coming your way and asks the question does this align with the life I want to be living? Does this feed my goals and my mission, or is this just something that I want to do, or am I just available? Well, good news, magoo, you get to say no. Try it on, see how it fits. Maybe it's number two.
Speaker 1:Maybe you feel resentment or burned out after helping other people, or maybe you get grumpy as you're getting prepared to help someone out and you're running through the list of things that you wish you could be doing instead, I've got you. Or maybe number three maybe you're over apologizing or over explaining your decisions, and this one has an antidote. It's called confidence, or giving zero fucks, and there's a teeny question that you can ask yourself to set yourself free. The other antidote that's a little less abrasive and more accessible is to ask yourself a simple question what would happen if I said no? After you get through the nonsense that your brain is going to feed you, that the world is going to end and your relationships are going to crumble and I can tell you that it won't and you won't you'll find that there is very often little consequence to saying no, especially when you weigh them against the personal consequences of saying yes when you don't want to Fear.
Speaker 1:Not fair friends. You're with your people now and today. We're going to get into it. But, steph, I'm a nice person and I really like doing nice things for other nice people, and to that I say do you, and also being nice and being a people pleaser are not mutually exclusive. So let's dig into understanding your core values and we're going to look at what values are and why do they matter. We're going to look at values as your internal compass. You know that thing that we used to use before GPS Because your values guide your decisions, they shape your priorities and they influence how you show up in the world.
Speaker 1:You can think of them as core beliefs that are in charge. They're in charge of what's truly important to you, like honesty, freedom, kindness, growth, connection. They're not just nice ideas. It's what makes you like honesty, freedom, kindness, growth, connection. They're not just nice ideas. It's what makes you you Okay, cool, but why does it matter? Well, when you live in alignment with your values, life feels more meaningful, your choices feel authentic, your energy flows naturally and you end up feeling more fulfilled. And on the flip side, when you go against your values whether that's saying yes when you mean no, or staying in situations that don't feel right it creates friction. That's when you feel stuck, stressed or out of sync with yourself.
Speaker 1:Look, values matter because they help you stay true to who you are, even when life gets messy. They give you clarity when you have to make a tough decision, and they show you where your boundaries should be and remind you what's worth your time and energy and what's not. Most importantly, they connect you to a life that feels right, not for everybody else, but for you. Living to tune into your values isn't just about being happy, it's about being whole. You got to first know what your values are in order to honor them, and only then can you unlock a life that feels grounded, powerful and 100% authentic. No one doesn't want that.
Speaker 1:There's this really cool study that was done in 2000. And it was intended to link performance, happiness and the alignment of personal values. And they introduced the self-determination theory. And it found out that people who pursue their goals in activity that are in alignment with their intrinsic values so like personal growth and human connection they reported higher levels of satisfaction, happiness and overall well-being compared to the people who chased things like money, fame and outside approval Interesting right. So this study was really cool because it also showed that the people that were acting in alignment with their intrinsic values, they not only had better performance, but they could sustain it over a longer period of time more consistently.
Speaker 1:And isn't that what we're all trying to do in one way or another. Anyone else want to pass their unpredictable roller coaster? Pass and give it back. Yeah, this is the way. Who knew that the game changer would be something as simple as our little old values? But here's a little advice that my mom used to give me. Just because it's simple doesn't mean it's easy, but I guarantee you doing values work with yourself always worth it. So here's an activity that you can do to give your relationship with your values a glow up. Quick exercise Think about a time that you felt really fulfilled.
Speaker 1:What values were at play? I think about it when I'm traveling. So it's my independence, my freedom, my sense of adventure, my sense of play, and it's all in full force when I'm in my happy, nomad world. And with every yin there's a yang right. So be sure to do part two. Think of a time when you were frustrated or conflicted. What values were being violated. This makes me think of any time. There's like a double standard or hypocrisy, and I'm a woman in the 21st century, so it happens more often than I'd like. But it's my value for justice and fairness that gets trampled on when those things happen, and it's not cute. So how do we protect our values, boundaries, babes but that's another podcast for another day. But that's another podcast for another day.
Speaker 1:So, when it comes to reconnecting with our authentic self, now that we know that people pleasing disconnects us from who we really are, we get to pivot. And now we get to take the time to reconnect with our real self. So here's a few tips on how to do it Spend some time alone. Reflect on what you want. How to do it. Spend some time alone. Reflect on what you want. This may take some time. I remember someone asking me this at the peak of my people-pleasing era and someone was like, what do you want? And I was like, uh, I don't know, but that will pass.
Speaker 1:You can journal or meditate to explore your feelings and to dig into what your desires really are, and you can start to practice small acts of self-expression, like speaking up or making decisions based on your preferences. My advice start small. Instead of saying I'm fine with whatever. Next time someone asks you where you want to go to eat, try actually advocating for what you want. It'll feel like a bigger thing than it is, but the stakes are low. So you can try not keeping the peace for once and see how it feels to honor what you want. Spoiler alert feels really good, and it's a great thing to be good at. Another thing you can do, starting right now, is when you're brushing your teeth before going to bed at night, ask yourself what did I do for myself today? And it's a great way to keep getting to know yourself and get good at rewarding yourself for prioritizing your values in your day-to-day life. So if you want to look at practical takeaways, here's a quick recap.
Speaker 1:Number one self-awareness is your superpower. Own it. Number one self-awareness is your superpower. Own it. Looks good on you. Number two recognize that people pleasing has a pattern. Most of us have them. They are sneaky, so keep your eyes peeled. And number three align your actions with your core values. My challenge for you this week pause before you say yes to anything and ask is this what I truly want? Because, my dear friends, the more self-aware you become, the more empowered you'll feel to make decisions that honor your needs, your values and your truth. Doesn't that sound nice? Think of how it would change your life if that were true. Because remember, it's not selfish, it's necessary.
Speaker 1:Be sure to share your self-awareness breakthroughs on the Instagram or in the comments. And why not tag me? I'm a great cheerleader and, if you're here, I'm already a big fan of yours, so you can also take the Mojo quiz, which will guide you down some different rows and give you some aha moments of where you can start to take your personal journey even further, and it'll help you get there faster. And if you want to know more about Mojo, have I got something for you? Today is brought to you by Mojo gummies.
Speaker 1:These things have been a game changer for my multi passionate brain to actually get things done and feel good doing it. My friend turned me on to them as a substitute for Adderall. So, my neurodivergent and neuro spicy friends out there, these are for you. They are natural, they are delicious, they are affordable, they are vegan friendly and, most of all, they are effective. I feel focused, undistracted, and it helps me tune into what my mojo. So check out the show notes. You'll get your very own 15% off code. And, don't worry, their customer service is amazing too.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for tuning in today and remember, wherever you are on your mojo journey, you're not alone. You've got everything you need and you're doing great. So be sure to tune in next week when we add a very powerful tool to our toolbox, and I'm talking about boundaries, baby. Now that we have our values aligned, we got to know how to protect them. So we're going to dig into that next week.
Speaker 1:So you know what to do. You're going to like, share, subscribe, comment, because that's all good for Juju. And be sure to come find me on the Instagram, where there's lots of cool links here or in the show notes, so browse to your heart's content. Don't forget to click that 15% off code. If you are ready to shake the brain fog and stepped into your productivity era, get yourself some of those mojo gummies. So that's it for today. Thank you so much for tuning in. Be sure to come back next week and share this with all your friends who may be somewhere on that people pleasing spectrum. But until next time, stay classy, stay kind and put love in everything you do. Ciao for now, thank you.
