Pocketful of Mojo
Pocketful of Mojo
From Silence to Self-Expression
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Ever felt like your voice was just an echo lost in the bustling world around you? Join me, broadcasting from the energetic streets of Nantes, France, as I share my personal journey of chaos transformed into joy, underpinned by the empowering mantra, "I am important and my voice matters." This mantra, a cornerstone of my self-love first aid kit, has guided me in living with intention and confidence. It serves as a powerful reminder that the key to self-worth lies within us. Together, we'll explore the heart of a vibrant city while grounding ourselves in the essential belief of our own significance. The only person who can decide your importance is you, so let's reclaim our seats at the table and shine with unyielding self-worth.
As we navigate the challenges of language barriers and cultural differences, you'll hear how these experiences impacted my ability to communicate and the internal battle between politeness and self-assertion. These stories underscore the necessity of establishing personal boundaries and earning respect in our relationships. We'll delve into the trials of not being heard and their effect on self-esteem, emphasizing why it's crucial to reclaim and value our voices. This episode is an invitation to discover the power of your voice, encouraging authentic connections and genuine self-expression as we unlock the potential within us to live life on our own terms.
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Welcome to Pocketful of Mojo, where you're, you and I'm Steph, and we tune in here to tap it to some Mojo. Well, what do you mean? What's Mojo? Mojo is that unshakable confidence, that booming self-worth. Like you're an unstoppable force of nature. You know that feeling you get that makes you want to strut down the street like a 90s supermodel.
Speaker 1:Well, I'm here to show you how you can have that feeling every single day. You see, I think I've cracked the code to being happy. I'm happy all the freaking time, every day, at least most of the day. You see, I think I've cracked the code to being happy. I'm happy all the freaking time, every day, at least most of the day, possibly to an annoying degree, but hey, I was not always this way. And not to flex, but I've had breakdowns in multiple continents and in two languages. Three years ago, my whole life was a dumpster fire and today I'm better than I've ever been. But how Well, by paying attention and living with more intention, I've created this self-love first aid kit, and it's full of amazing tools that help me level up and navigate life with that main character energy everyone's talking about. And I'm not here to gatekeep. In fact, I'm on a mission to help you tap into your best stuff and remember that you have everything you need to live your life on your own terms. So settle in. We're here for some positive change, so let's dig in to where your mojo meets the road. In today's episode, I'm going to review our mantra for the week for some positive change. So let's dig in to where your mojo meets the road. In today's episode, I'm gonna review our mantra for the week and then we're gonna dig into today's main topic, and that topic is finding your voice and knowing how to use it. But, plot twist, we're not only taking it on the road, but we are taking this podcast overseas and shaking things up once again. That's right.
Speaker 1:Today's episode is coming to you in between bites of croissants and cheese, and I'm back in my former hometown of Nantes, france. I can't wait to tell you all about it. So you stick around, and I'm going to make sure that you're glad that you did. Let's get started with today's mantra and get tuned in, tapped in and turned on. Hello and welcome to the 38th episode of Pocketful of Mojo. Once again, I'm Steph. I'm your Mojo Maven, I'm your emotional Sherpa and I'm so glad you're here. Am I a therapist? No, do I have a degree in psychology? No, I am a flawed human just like you, who has figured out how to tap into our best stuff, and I'm here to reflect your awesomeness and your potential right back to you. It's already there, so let's settle in.
Speaker 1:Let's start by digging into today's mantra. Today's mantra is I am important and my voice matters. Yeah, you are and yeah it is. Let's get into it. Let's get into it. I am important and my voice matters. Now, I love a good I am mantra, and this one is no exception.
Speaker 1:When we anchor ourselves in the I am important, we recalibrate the scales and put ourselves right back in that rightful position of top spot in our own lives, reminding ourselves of our inherent importance. It's not arrogant or egotistical. It's essential when constructing or even nurturing your self-esteem and your self-image In a world where we are constantly pulled in a million directions, with deadlines and schedules and taking care of other people's needs. The top of this mantra keeps us rooted in that truth that the relationship we have with ourselves is the most important relationship there is. Period. I am important and my voice matters.
Speaker 1:The world can be a noisy place and sometimes, between diplomacy and office politics and just trying to keep the peace, we shy away from letting our voices be heard. This mantra is a gentle reminder and a little tap on the shoulder and a little nudge with the elbow that sometimes we need and deserve to put our voices out there and join the noisy mix. I am important and my voice matters. And I don't know about you, but I grew up in a house where we wait for our turn to talk and we raised our hands in class before we could speak. And in the day-to-day jungle that we live in now, things are a little less organized. And in the day-to-day jungle that we live in now, things are a little less organized. You can find yourself being interrupted, cut off, talked over or just plain misunderstood because someone didn't take the proper time to stop and listen. This can be incredibly deflating and if it happens often enough, it can cause us to just stop trying, get small, be passive.
Speaker 1:This mantra is here to say fuck that. And politely kick down the door between you and the power of your voice so you can get reacquainted. I am important and my voice matters. You deserve the seat at the table. Your voice deserves its time on the mic, and don't let anyone tell you differently.
Speaker 1:Right or wrong, all of our experiences, thoughts, ideas they're all worthy of airtime, right or wrong. Sharing your voice with the world is what makes the world a better place. Makes the world a better place. How will anyone know how bright, thoughtful and strong you are if you never tap into that voice and truly shine? When you ground yourself in this mantra, you remember that the only person to decide your importance is you. The world will rise to meet you. The only thing keeping your voice quiet is you.
Speaker 1:So it's your turn to step up to the mic and own the amazing, powerful creature that you are. I am important and my voice matters. Hoo-wee. I love that mantra and I love the irony that my voice is all affected by my cold right now while I'm doing this podcast, sounding ever so gravelly but seriously. This one is actually extra personal for me today, as clearly my voice is my favorite instrument and I can tell you from personal experience that, having spent so much time unheard, unhealthy and shrinking by the day, this mantra is a game changer. It's like a turbo boost for self-esteem and self-worth and self-confidence. So if you're looking for ways to give your voice power, may I suggest a karaoke night, toastmasters leading the next meeting at work. Maybe you can take steps in your day-to-day life that will not only help you take up more space that's rightfully yours, by the way but tune into what really matters to you and share your genius with the world. Only you can speak for you.
Speaker 1:So, for more on this juicy topic, we're going to take it to the streets. Yep, that's right, I'm going to mic up and walk around the streets of France and we're going to take on this topic on a little walkabout in my old neighborhood. So, without further ado, here we go with some Mojo on the road 4, 3, 2, 1. We are rolling, we are rolling, we are rolling. So, confession, this is mojo on the road.
Speaker 1:But it's kind of not on the road, because I've been here for a week and it's literally rained every day, and normally the rain is like it'll rain really hard and then it'll just kind of be soggy for the rest of the day. But today, man, oh man, I want to get this podcast to you, but I am not going out in that rain. It is torrential, so I got the windows open so maybe you can hear the rain and it'll sound like I'm outside, because there'll be cars driving by and I think school gets out soon, but it's all about the voice. It's not about the but it's all about the voice. It's not about the outside, it's about the voice, and that's what we're going to talk about today, because I heard this. I keep seeing this quote over and over again and I think it's really a mirror, like something's being mirrored back to me in my own journey. No-transcript. Our voice is so. It's such an important tool.
Speaker 1:And one of the times I got married now, listen, hold the phone. I had three weddings. The first wedding was when I was in Montreal. We were Canadian citizens, so we needed to be legally married in Canada. Now my in-laws lived in France and they were about 100 years old, so they weren't able to make the big trip and do everything all in one place. So we took the idea of a destination wedding and kind of flipped it on its head. Where we went to, where our guests were. So we were living in Montreal, so we went to the notary and we got officially married in this tiny little office in Montreal and then 21 days later I was married in the oldest church in Paris. That's right. My life is a little bit of a fairy tale, and it's not lost on me how crazy that sounds. So when you're talking about a place like Paris, one of the oldest cities in the world, the oldest church is going to be real old, and so forgive me when I say that this church was creeping on a thousand years old.
Speaker 1:So one of the time-honored traditions was that there was no organ. There were no speakers. As the saying goes, the only instrument allowed in God's house is the instrument that God gave you. When I tell you that the choir that sang was eight people and it sounded like 30, it really magnifies how powerful the voice is and how it can really transcend a moment, and the same goes for your voice and the same goes for my voice. The voice is one of the really key tools in our toolbox, and sometimes it gets lost and sometimes we stray away from really understanding what its value is. So we're going to unpack a little bit of that today, so that we can walk away from this conversation with a little bit more clarity, a little bit more insight and awareness around our voice and what it means to us and how it carries us through our day to day. How it carries us through our day to day and maybe uncover a couple of opportunities of where we can tune into our voice and let it resonate from maybe a different place than it did before.
Speaker 1:Now, for me, one of the biggest symptoms that showed up that reminded me that I was living out of alignment with myself was that I wasn't being heard. Now it's a little bit different, because I was in a different country at the time while I was here, but when I was feeling small and out of alignment, I was here in France and so, being an Anglophone in a Francophone country, there's already going to be a little bit of dissonance when communicating with my voice. I'm going to have an accent, people I may or may not use the right words, people may not understand the full gist of what I'm trying to say, and that can really impact relationships and how people respond to you and how they don't respond to you, based on you know what we're used to, and this is what I'm referring to when I talk about in the intro how I had two breakdowns on two different continents and two different languages. This was like four years ago that I was really incapable of ignoring how bad things had really gotten. I'd found myself in a culture where interrupting people and talking over people was normal, and boy, that was a huge culture shock. And so what I observed, once I actually started observing my own behavior, was I observed that I just shut the fuck up, I just let people talk and I smiled and I kind of knew what to say if someone asked me a direct question. But trust me when I tell you it didn't happen as often as you think, and if we're not careful, that's going to impact our self-esteem, our self-worth, and that is a slippery slope, trust me.
Speaker 1:So a few things happen when we don't use our voice, when we just shut the fuck up and we keep the peace and we don't feel like being the person who interrupts somebody else. Because I didn't feel like that was who I was. My self-image was someone who was polite and friendly, didn't interrupt and didn't speak over other people, and friendly, didn't interrupt and didn't speak over other people. And when I tried, it really didn't feel comfortable. So I became a really good listener, which is also a super important skill. But again, believe me when I tell you, it's not a skill that everybody has and at best they use it selectively. So I really had to figure out what was preventing me from using my voice. So it was a few things. It was the kind of value disconnect that came with having to interrupt other people in order to be heard. I didn't want to be that person.
Speaker 1:The other thing was the language barrier. When I'm speaking in a second language, my confidence may not be off the charts in that moment because I'm having to work a little harder to get my point across. So it was the language at all. Or would hear me and then do whatever they wanted to anyway. And in my marriage that became a real problem to feel like your words don't matter, to feel like your words don't weigh anything, or to feel like you're not even taking up enough space that you're worthy of being understood, even if you don't agree. That's always been my thing. I don't care if you disagree with me, but respect me enough to at least hear what I have to say and take the time to understand. Ask whatever questions you need to ask. But that was a real aha moment for me to be able to say this is my boundary in my relationship with my husband. This is my boundary when we're talking about something. If you don't understand, ask a question Because one of us, whenever we were speaking, would always be speaking their second language. We could both speak both languages, but both of us were stronger in a different language and maybe you've got less obvious examples of that.
Speaker 1:Whether it's at work and you're kind of forced to work with someone closely and you just feel like you're not speaking the same language or share the same value system, it can feel like you're going crazy because they just aren't able to see things from your point of view, no matter how many words you use, at whatever volume. So when I got tired of the fighting, I would just kind of surrender. I would just not talk, I would just wouldn't. To me it wasn't worth my breath to explain something that wasn't going to be respected, heard or understood, and I had plenty of examples to lean on to make me think that maybe that was going to be the case. So I got small, I got passive. I didn't say anything. I didn't speak up for myself, got passive, I didn't say anything, I didn't speak up for myself, I didn't ask for more Because I hadn't defined that self-worth and my self-esteem had been so eroded that I didn't have the balls to stand up, draw the line in the sand and say this is what I need. Are you in or are you out? That had to come much later, but it was in the discovery of my voice being what I had lost that I realized that I had to stop knocking on that door. So when the straw finally broke the camel's back, with my relationship and my marriage simultaneously grieving the very sudden death of my mom, I kind of put a pin in it with this discovery of mine that my voice was really failing me.
Speaker 1:So when I came back to Canada and I was taking care of my dad and I wanted to find something that I could do for income, where I could work from home and still make, you know, some decent money, which is where I got into voice acting. So I was using my voice with other people's words and, as fun as that was, man, there was no two days the same. I put out hundreds and hundreds of auditions and only got a handful of jobs. But it meant that I was working with and on my voice. But it didn't fire me up entirely. It got a little demotivating and I wasn't really finding my groove. It was a really lonely kind of work, but I knew I was onto something. I mean, I had all this great sound equipment so I mean I was just trying to make my money back, so to speak. Oh, there's my kitty kitty Snack time. Snack time for kitty kitty. Hey, meow, meow. Okay, when was I Voice acting?
Speaker 1:So, yeah, it wasn't firing me up, it didn't really help me. I mean it did help me because I was tuning into my voice and I was able to find my voice within all of the other like affected voices that you would need to do if I wanted to be a game show host, or if I was doing a commercial where I had to be a mom, or if I had to be a game show host, or if I was doing a commercial where I had to be a mom, or if I had to be a wicked witch. You know, it allowed me to kind of get to know my voice again and reintroduce myself and find out all the cool things that I could do in all the different accents that I needed to do them in, and it was super, super fun, which reminded me that we're here to play. And once again, that tool served another function. And then, when Moja was born and I really did the work of putting together all of the insights and research and journaling and you know awareness walks that I'd been on. I collated and curated all that information together and asked myself what am I here to do? What does the world need that only I can do? And that's when Mojo was born, because I'm so committed to this idea that we are all born with superpowers that we just need to tap into to have lives that bring us more joy and happiness and fulfillment and experience and service. I knew this was how I was meant to serve and I knew that I needed a great relationship with my voice in order to be able to do that. And that's when Pocketful of Mojo was born.
Speaker 1:I thought what a great way to start sharing this message. And I want to get on stages and I want to write books, and it's using your voice. If this isn't your path which I'm assuming it's not you get to use your voice, however you want, whether it's saying something when someone cuts in front of you in line, or having the confidence to speak up at the board meeting or ace the next presentation. Those are all amazing ways to take up space and shine a little bit. It's not about being famous or the center of attention. It's about owning your glow. You don't get up every day and say I'm going to have a mediocre day. No, you want to do good, feel good and share that, and our voice is one of the greatest ways that we can do that.
Speaker 1:And I even took it one step further. I signed up for something called a voice lab and you've got to check out Kim Fisher. I'm going to put her in the notes. She's an amazing, really holistic approach to vocal coaching and, no matter where you are in your life, if you want to like be better at Toastmasters or just be able to hold a stronger conversation at the dinner table, it doesn't have to be a professional endeavor, it could just be you getting to know yourself better. Knowing your voice is so critical and it opens up so many more portals of awareness of who you are. What do you stand for, what are you passionate about? There's some fun homework for you. Make a list of things that you could talk passionately about for 30 minutes or like even 10. And if you're looking for new friends or new hobbies, that's probably a good place to start Things that you could talk about forever. So, yeah, I'm taking this vocal course with Kim Fisher the amazing Kim Fisher and my biggest takeaway and I learned so many things from Kim.
Speaker 1:But as much as it's about the message, it's also about how you want the other person to feel when they hear your message, whatever that is, whether that's at the dinner table or the boardroom reflecting on that before you say something, or before you give that speech, or before you give that presentation at work, or before you pitch that idea to your client. How do you want them to feel when they hear you say it? And that's just mind-blowingly fun to think about. And it's when we get out of our head and start speaking from the heart that this channel, this powerful instrument called the voice, really kicks in. So what I hope you take away from today's little chit chat, as I've been puttering around my apartment listening to the rain, is the power of the voice and tuning into it as one of your superpowers. You've got many, so do I, but when I did this, when I really tuned into my voice and started considering it as one of my superpowers, it's what allowed me to go from misunderstood and unheard and a quiet little mouse and a shell of a human to a voice actor who now hosts her own podcast and has a mission that she wants to share with the world, and I'm just getting started. So, wherever you're at in your relationship with your voice, it's always a good idea to refresh that relationship. So I hope you take this opportunity to take a beat and just start thinking differently about you and your voice and its relationship to you and your mojo. And I could talk for hours about this. So good thing I've got podcasts, am I right? Fabulous? Well, I'm going to shoot it back to the studio. Hopefully, when I come to you next week it'll be a little bit brighter days. Ooh, maybe I'll go to my favorite park and walk around there. Oh yeah, and the people watching is really good there too. Anyway, that's it for me. For now I'm going to shoot it back to the studio. Have yourself a gorgeous day. And that was pocket full of mojo.
Speaker 1:Road trip editionune in next week for a very special episode where we keep it international. We're going to be gearing up for Thanksgiving in the North American region, so we're going to be stuffing turkeys and stuffing faces, and doing so in the spirit of gratitude. Yep, gratitude is our topic next week and we'll be unpacking what it is, what it isn't and how it can change the game, no matter where you're from. That's right. I'll be coming to you again direct from France and shaking things up one more time with you, if I can find a spare moment between chugging my face with croissants and cheese. My kitchen here is far too small for a turkey, so you know what's a girl to do.
Speaker 1:But seriously, thanks for tuning in and I hope that this has helped you tune into some of that mojo of yours, because, dang, it looks good on you. In the meantime, if you feel like your mojo could use a little tune-up, I've come up with a few ways that we can do this again sometime. Make sure you take a couple of minutes to subscribe to this podcast, catch up on old episodes and, for some extra good juju, be sure to leave a review. You can follow me on Instagram at moststefinately, where you'll find some daily affirmations, mantras and other beautiful ways to lift your spirits and stay tuned into that mojo. I've got so much great stuff to share with you guys, so be sure to tune in next week and until then, stay classy, stay kind and put love in everything you do. Ciao for now, au revoir, thank you.
