Pocketful of Mojo
Pocketful of Mojo
Confidence Unleashed: The Power of Self-Trust
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Have you ever wondered how much self-trust really influences your confidence? Join me, Steph, your Mojo Maven, on "Pocket Full of Mojo" as we explore the mantra, "I trust myself completely. I am capable, worthy, and ready for everything life brings my way." This episode unpacks how self-trust is the bedrock of unshakable confidence. Through reflecting on our past successes and embracing our imperfections, we discover that confidence is a skill that can be developed and strengthened over time.
We'll also dive into the fluid nature of confidence, examining how it impacts our mindset and actions. Drawing from my experience as a senior training specialist at Starbucks, I introduce a practical framework that breaks down tasks into quadrants of willingness and ability. This method helps us assess our confidence levels without judgment, fostering a more empowering environment. By understanding and reflecting on moments when we felt confident, we can apply these insights to new situations and navigate life's challenges with greater assurance.
Finally, we emphasize that confidence is cultivated through action, resilience, and persistence, rather than the pursuit of perfection. From positive self-talk to avoiding comparisons, we discuss actionable strategies to build a robust confidence database. As we wrap up, I encourage you to support the podcast by subscribing, leaving a review, and connecting with our community on Instagram. Share this episode with friends to foster meaningful conversations and remember to stay classy, kind, and loving. Ciao for now!
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welcome to pocketful of mojo.
Speaker 1:Where you're, you and I'm steph, and we tune in here to tap into some mojo. What do you mean? What's mojo? Mojo is that feeling of unshakable confidence, booming self-worth, like you're an unstoppable force of nature, and I'm here to show you how you can have that feeling every single day. You see, I think I've cracked the code to being happy. I'm happy all the freaking time every day, at least most of the day, possibly to an annoying degree. But hey, I wasn't always this way. And not to flex, but I've had breakdowns on multiple continents and in two languages, on multiple continents and in two languages, but by paying attention and with living with more intention, I've curated a self-love first aid kit and it's full of amazing tools that help me out of life's most sticky and stressful situations. And I did so with grace and self-care. And I'm not here to gatekeep. In fact, I'm on a mission to help you tap into your best stuff and remember that you have everything you need to live your own life on your own terms. In today's episode, I'm going to review our mantra for the week and then we're going to dig into today's main topic, which is confidence. But, plot twist, we're going to take it on the road again and we're going to shake things up. So you stick around and I'm going to make sure that you're glad that you did.
Speaker 1:Let's get started with today's mantra and get tuned in, tapped in and turned on, tapped in and turned on. Hello, hello, hello and welcome to the 34th episode of Pocket Full of Mojo. Once again, I'm your hostess, I'm Steph, I'm your Mojo Maven, your soul sister, your emotional Sherpa, and I'm super glad that you're here. I'm here to reflect your awesomeness back to you. So let's settle in.
Speaker 1:Let's start by digging into today's mantra, and today's mantra is I trust myself completely. I am capable, worthy and ready for everything. Life brings my way. Yes, okay, trust is at the heart of confidence. So we are right on point for today's theme. Let's dig in. I trust myself completely. I am capable, worthy and ready for everything. Life brings my way.
Speaker 1:When we lack confidence, it's because we're living in the gap, the gap between where we are and where we think we should be, when we've told ourselves where we ought to be, and often our lack of confidence is based on half-truths and incomplete data. Conversely, when we trust, when we have faith in ourselves, we are able to tap into parts of ourselves that don't require evidence, that the insecure part of our brains are putting in the spotlight. I trust myself completely. I am capable, worthy and ready for everything life brings my way. So what are we trusting exactly?
Speaker 1:Well, in order to tap into the confidence that you're looking for, you need to zoom out and remember all that we've already done, all the times that we've won, all the times that we've lost and the world kept spinning, all the times that we fell down and proved that we could get back up. It's in the remembering of those moments that we can trust that we will endure whatever comes, win or lose. I trust myself completely. I am capable, worthy and ready for everything life brings my way. Now we want to remember that confidence is a skill. It can be learned, honed, built and lost, and if we don't flex our muscles of intention and pay close attention, we can leave our confidence to the whims of results, and those are finicky. Trying something new. Well, this doesn't mean that you have to approach it with no confidence just because you've never done it before. You know why. Because the outcome doesn't matter Truly. Let yourself off the hook for delivering perfection all the time and see how much free time you have, so much room for activities, and embracing these flaws and failures of life actually increases your confidence, because you're taking action based on the belief that, while you may not achieve your desired result the first time, you will have learned something, and now you're closer to your goal, and that's confidence. I trust myself completely. I am capable, worthy and ready for everything life brings my way. And remember why we use mantras. We use them to anchor ourselves in the truth as we define it for ourselves.
Speaker 1:If confidence is something that you think you struggle with, this is your time to begin to build the narrative that you desire, one where you are capable, worthy and ready for everything life brings you, because trust isn't built when things are easy. It's built when things are hard, when we're tested. It's when we come out the other side of the test intact, alive, win or lose, and we're wiser from it. So take the time to take stock of what you do know and what you believe, and there you will find more trust and examples of just how capable you are. I trust myself completely. I am capable, worthy and ready for everything life brings my way. Oh, my goodness, I know that I've been going through it lately, and I can definitely say that my confidence has waned over the last few days. And when I think about it, the absence of my confidence just so happens to coincide with the absence of my own self-talk, reminding me how capable and empowered I am, and that's no coincidence. So let this be your cue to take a beat, check in with yourself and take the time to reflect and remember that you can do hard things and you bring a lot to this world, and it's never too late to bloom. Failing means we're trying. Resistance means that the easy part is on its way. Keep going. You've got this.
Speaker 1:Now to dig into our main topic today. We are back on the road, my peoples. That's right. We are back to the Mojo on the Road format. So let's go to our confidence correspondent. Ladies and gentlemen and everyone in between, mojo on the Road. Oh, my goodness, we are recording. Okay, here we go. I'm way back home. At least the parking brake. Okay, we're doing it. This is Park Full of Mojo on the road. Take three. Oh, ladies and gentlemen, and everyone in between, thanks for being here.
Speaker 1:We're going to talk about confidence today. And, man, today has been a delightful test of my confidence and I'm being proven over and over again that I actually might have more confidence than I thought. So I've had kind of a shitty week, week and a half, and I can't seem to get my footing. I've been working on it, right. It's been a little bit of a struggle bus and which, as you know, that's not my jam, that's not like me at all.
Speaker 1:So time to record a podcast and of course it's on the subject of confidence, what I'm feeling? Pretty much anything. But so there's the test, right. There's the big old universe giving me a mirror to look at and see my stuff, so I can do my thing. And that's what I'm here to do today. And we're going to do this together and we're going to talk about confidence, because it's kind of a beast, it's kind of a super big topic, and one of my favorite sayings when it comes to confidence is just do the thing. Do the thing with the confidence of a white guy with a podcast, and I hope you see that as being tongue in cheek, because it really is and definitely should be. Holy smokes. People are flying through this intersection and here I am trying to pull a U-turn. Now that's confidence. Here we go, we're doing it. I'm confidently taking myself through this intersection, nailed, the U-turn, okay. So yeah, we're going to talk about confidence today. We do chase it, don't we? So maybe if we had a little better understanding of what confidence is, we might be closer than we think. So let's break it down.
Speaker 1:Confidence, it's that feeling right, it's the, it's the way we walk into a room, it's the way that we approach things for the first time. It it's a lot of things, but it's not static. It's not really something that we can just like, cross off our list and be like there, I did it. I'm a confident person because it depends, right, depending on the environment, depending on the situation, depending on what we're doing. It's not static. So just knowing that confidence is fluid kind of lets us off the hook a little bit in terms of like when we think it should be showing up, you know, and giving ourselves a little bit of slack and maybe some new information so that we can inform our mindset next time we're feeling a little less than confident. We can maybe interrogate that a little bit differently to see if it's actually true.
Speaker 1:Because I think, despite popular belief, confidence isn't just feeling good, you know it's, it's more than that it's definitely one of the major indicators of mojo, that's for sure. So, in order to really get in touch with this idea of confidence if it feels like it's elusive or it slips through your fingers or it's something that you've been chasing for a while I want you to take a beat and kind of and think back to a time when you felt confident and, like, really project yourself into that moment. Like, how did it feel in your body? What were you doing? What were you doing that led you to do that thing that you felt so confident doing? Because it's this quiet power that we have and no one can give it to us and, at the same time, nobody can take it away from us either, because one another.
Speaker 1:One of my favorite sayings is whether you think you can or you can't. You're right. That one hit me like a ton of bricks the first time I heard it, because I was like, damn, that's actually super fucking true. And when we think back to the white guy with a podcast, do you think anybody gave them their confidence? No, they kind of took it and there's no confidence police.
Speaker 1:So, like, when I think about going through my affirmations this morning, what I really wasn't feeling my tippy top, to say the least. I'm going through my mantras and I'm I'm like engaging with them and I'm projecting myself into what it feels like if I were to feel that way Right, and to trust that I have the ability to feel that way. And I was like, oh, this is how they work Right, and to trust that I have the ability to feel that way. And I was like, oh, this is how they work Right. And. And we just forget there's so much noise, there's so much other data that when we peel it all back, we remember that we've always been competent, we've always had the receipts to back it up. So we forget these things when we're confronted or we're faced with a situation, a task, an action, maybe, that we've never done before.
Speaker 1:Which makes me think about this course that I used to teach. So I used to be a senior training specialist for a little coffee company called Starbucks and I spent I had a cute little 15-year career with them and it was brilliant, and I got to teach workshops, professional development workshops, to everybody, from baristas all the way up to store managers, district managers, executive vice presidents. We had the whole gamut of professional development, and one of them was called situational leadership. Now, situational leadership was definitely one of my faves and I think we facilitated it to assistant managers and managers because it was coaches. We wanted to help them develop their coaching skills.
Speaker 1:So when I'm going through this, think of yourself in the both the position of coach and learner, because when we talk about situational leadership, we take a role. In our case, our role is living human being and we break it down by task, either by task action, behavior. And when you're assessing someone's readiness to do something, in that moment you measure two things you measure their willingness and you measure their ability. Now ability is defined as actively doing it, like they can actively do and perform the task action or behavior to standard that day. Right, not you used to do it, or you've got the potential to be able to do it based on other skills. No it's. Are you actively doing it? So that determines whether you're able or unable. And then there's willingness, so that is completely driven by the learner. You're either willing or unwilling to do something.
Speaker 1:So now we have four quadrants when we pair willingness and ability. So you're either willing and able, willing and unable, unwilling and able or unwilling and unable. So let's break this down. Willing and able, amen. Not only can I make the latte, I can make the latte all day and I feel good doing it and it brings me joy. Boom, willing and able. Now, that is not like a set it and forget it kind of thing. You have to check in on it, you have to challenge every once in a while, but in that moment, in that context, we want to be able to find as many things that we can that we know we are both willing and able to do, because that just makes for a confidence building environment. Now, when we have willingness but not ability, that's some confidence right there. I don't know how to make a latte, but, man, I'd really love to find out. And then we have unwilling and able. So yeah, I'm making your stupid latte and I'm doing it with about this much enthusiasm. So that would be unwilling and able. And then unwilling and unable is never made. A latte, not interested. Coffee scares me. I've got no business doing this activity.
Speaker 1:So when we take the emotion out of it and we're able to measure and look at these things in this way, it's like it kind of takes the judgment away. Oh, okay, this is your lane too. All right, we can share. I am tuned in. Oh okay, this is your lane too. All right, we can share. I am tuned in, okay, okay. So then we're not judging ourselves so harshly, but it does kind of give us a better picture of how we're doing with our choices. Are we filling our days and our lives with shit that makes us mad, with things that don't make us feel good? Because these are choices we take.
Speaker 1:Ladies and gentlemen, we are grownups, we are the CEO of our lives, and so, the more that we're able to leverage this awareness, this knowledge, this relationship with ourselves and the things that we do in our days, our weeks, our months, our lives, we're then better able to plan accordingly, to be a little bit more strategic with our agenda, to be a little bit more liberal with our no thanks, I can come to your party, I just don't want to. And that doesn't mean that we need to talk to people this way, but it means that we can pass our choices through that kind of a filter. And really it mean that we need to talk to people this way, but it means that we can pass our choices through that kind of a filter and really it shows that we're tuned into ourselves and dialed in and taking responsibility for how we feel when we do the things that we do. And trust me, as you're working to build confidence, it is a huge test of your self-talk. So let's dig into how to get some of this confidence everybody's talking about. So we touched on that a little bit with the situational leadership, but just being able to really tackle this with awareness, because it's not something that you can think your way into. You have to do your way into confidence.
Speaker 1:Confidence comes from taking action. Now, don't get it twisted. Confidence does not come from winning, so it's not about the doing or the perfection or the end result. It's about trying. So knowing that in order to build confidence it's an actual skill we can take small, consistent and intentional action, and then that gives us confidence to do another five minutes, and then another five minutes, and then, with this self-awareness, we leverage our strengths. We feel better doing it, we want to do more and, oh my goodness, I'm starting to feel confident at this. And again, this doesn't mean winning, because confidence comes from failing, and then you keep going anyway.
Speaker 1:So the other key, in addition to keeping track of your self-talk remember whether you think you can or you can't, you're right. So if you need to buy some red flags and call yourself out on that shit when it happens, that's what you got to do, because when you believe you can, you're already halfway there. Because when you believe you can, you're already halfway there. I think I saw that on like a mug or something, but it's also wicked, true. So being sure to avoid that comparison trap is absolutely that it's a trap knowing how to call yourself out when you're in that moment of like. I should be here, I want to be here, but I'm not. Look how far along this person is. What am I doing with my life compared to this 25-year-old kid who's made $25 million? Who fucking cares? We're all out here making it up as we go along and we don't need to show receipts to be able to walk around with confidence. And we don't need to show receipts to be able to walk around with confidence.
Speaker 1:The confidence card comes from what you deposit in your own bank, and action is the builder. It's something that we need to nurture and feed, and along with that comes that you know that self-awareness I was talking about. It's catching yourself when you're doing it right and celebrating it and being like, oh my God, me two weeks ago would have responded to failing a lot differently. Man, this is really working. This, this work that I'm doing, and as you are folding these things into your day-to-day practice, it's not going to go perfectly, but it's going to go forward. Where attention goes, energy flows. You're getting the whole rain shower of my favorite sayings today, because that one applies here too.
Speaker 1:So when we look at what we're doing, don't measure how confident you feel about it first. Take action first. So often we get tangled up in our head and our feelings. But remember, feelings aren't facts, right, so we can feel confident and we don't have to back it up. There's no confidence police that's going to come for you and being like oh, oh, you think you are capable and worthy. Prove it. No one's coming to say that to you. I promise you.
Speaker 1:And if, after all this, you're still struggling and you're like Steph, I still just don't know where to tap into this confidence, I'm telling you it is already inside of you. You just need to quiet the noise, tune into your own story and I bet if you looked back on your life, you would be able to capture example after example of times where you tried something, and then you tried something and then you failed, and then you kept going anyway. Or you failed and it opened up a whole new path that you wouldn't have been able to see before that previous failure. And the more you accumulate these stories, this will be the database for you to build your confidence upon, because I bet you've shown the world time and time again that you are capable, that you are worthy, that you are exactly where you're supposed to be. So, as I alluded to in the beginning, it's not always fluid and it's not a guarantee, and the more you chase confidence, the more elusive it seems, because that's not where the work, because that's not where the data comes from. We can't look outside for examples or reasons to feel confident. We have to go inside. So that's where going over our own story is that reminder of everything that we've overcome, everything that we've achieved.
Speaker 1:I had a day two days ago where I felt like doing absolutely nothing and I just wasn't feeling it. And not only was I not feeling it, I was feeling like low vibration, I was feeling not great. But I had signed up for this networking call, and so I put on my red top, washed my face, put some makeup on and I showed up for myself Because, yes, there was a part of me that wanted to just give the world the middle finger and say I'm going to go hide in a corner. But I showed up for myself, I stepped through it and I did it anyway, because confidence and resilience are this really amazing loop and they feed each other in this really great way. That allows us to maintain our good mojo on the day-to-day and it allows us to maintain and get through the potholes and come out okay on the other side.
Speaker 1:Because whether or not we do or don't do the thing, the world will keep spinning and while sometimes confidence is inflating our importance, it's also important to stay humble and deflate our importance a little bit and remember that the world's going to keep turning If we do or don't do the thing, if we fail or if we succeed. Sometimes it's not that big of a ripple, so it's good to check ourselves and get perspective. Like, let yourself off the hook, babe, because sometimes things just aren't as serious as we think they are. Like, right now, I'm in the middle of changing over my learning platforms and I'm going from a website to this other site, and so I'm trying to do this all at the same time and make it seamless and stay on top of my schedule. But now some of my sites are not going to be accessible.
Speaker 1:So I have like, where am I going to put my blog if my new site's not live yet? And I'm on a timeline and I do this once a week and you know what? I didn't post a blog on Sunday. And you know what? The world kept fucking turning. And you know what the world kept fucking turning. And me of a year ago would have been so married to that commitment I made to like post every Sunday on the blog that that would have crumbled me or forced me to operate in this really resistant space where I'm trying to do it all and I end up not doing it very well.
Speaker 1:But my confidence allowed me and my resilience allowed me to know that this is like a little dip in the road and there's going to be a moment of transition. But that's not a permanent state. So I'm going to ride this out, I'm going to wait until I can transition properly and then I'll get back to my posting schedule Like nothing's changed. And you know what? I didn't get a thousand angry phone calls on Monday morning saying, hey, steph, where's my blog? Because they're not that important. I mean, they're important to me and they're amazing and I hope you love them. And I know that the world's going to keep turning. So it was that confidence that allowed me to navigate that, that hiccup in my plans, because we know that there will be hiccups and plans. We know this. So, arming ourselves and equipping ourselves and giving ourselves the trust that we're going to make it through, even if we don't know how yet, that's pretty cool, that's pretty sexy and it looks good on everyone. So, on that note, I'm going to send it back to the studio.
Speaker 1:I hope you found some confidence and tapped into a bit of your mojo today. Please share this with a friend. I'm so excited to talk to you next week. We're going to talk about time and, oh man, I'm going to have to have a full tank of gas because I got lots to say about that. Oh time, what a sneaky, sneaky devil. All right, until next time, peace out. Ciao for now, back to the studio.
Speaker 1:Bisous, and that was pocket full of mojo. Road trip edition. Tune in next week to see if we do it again. But seriously, thank you so much for tuning in, and I hope this has helped you tap into some of that mojo of yours. You're worth it, baby. It's all there. And next week we're going to dig into the concept of time, that weird little construct that seems to rule our lives. Well, I say it's time to fix our crowns and make time work for us. You, with me, tune in next week as we figure out all the nuts and bolts of it all.
Speaker 1:In the meantime, if you feel like your mojo could use a tune up, I've come with lots of ways that we can do this again.
Speaker 1:Make sure you take a couple minutes to subscribe to this podcast and for some extra good juju, you can leave a review. Follow me on Instagram for daily mantras and affirmations, and be sure to show your love with all the likes and comments. I'm a recovering people pleaser, so you know it means the world when you do. And look, you found me at the very beginning of all things mojo, and there's so much more on the way. All the cool links are found in the show notes, so go have a look. I mean you're here anyway, right? And while you're at it, share this episode with a friend. It's not only good karma, but it'll give you something to talk about when you go on your next mental health walk together, and I've got so much great stuff to share with you guys, so be sure to tune in next week and until then, stay classy, stay kind and put love in everything you do. Ciao for now. Thank you.
