Pocketful of Mojo

Guilt Be Gone: Reclaiming Your Mojo

August 01, 2024 Steph Season 1 Episode 28

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Are you tired of guilt weighing you down and stealing your peace of mind? In this liberating episode of Pocketful of Mojo, I promise you'll uncover the secrets to breaking up with guilt and reclaiming your happiness. Join me, Steph, as we explore the dual nature of guilt and how it can either keep us in check or become a burdensome ball and chain. We'll tackle the concept of people-pleasing and the critical importance of setting boundaries to protect your happiness. Ready to say goodbye to that guilt and reclaim your mojo? We'll dive deep into practicing forgiveness, staying present, and prioritizing your needs.

But we won't stop there! We'll empower you with practical tips on self-love and boundaries, helping you reclaim your power and kick guilt to the curb. Discover how setting small, manageable boundaries can make saying no easier and protect your personal space. We'll highlight the significance of self-care, whether it's indulging in relaxing baths or simply treating yourself to fresh flowers. Affirmations like "I deserve to put myself first" will help you replace guilty thoughts with positive ones. Plus, learn the value of support systems and daily gratitude exercises to build a positive self-image and reinforce your worth. Remember, breaking up with guilt is a process that requires time, patience, and a whole lot of self-love. So get ready to embrace your inner Mojo Master and transform your life!

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Speaker 1:

welcome to your new favorite podcast pocket full of mojo, where you're, you and I'm stuff, and we tune in here to tap into some mojo. You see, I think I've cracked the code of being happy because I'm like happy every single day, not even kidding. Now, look, it wasn't always this way, and not to flex, but I've had breakdowns on multiple continents and in two languages. But by paying attention and by living with more intention, I've created this self-love first aid kit full of amazing tools that help me out of life's most sticky and stressful situations. And I get to do it with grace and self-love. And I'm not here to gatekeep. In fact, I'm on a mission to help you tap into your best stuff and remember that you have everything you need to live your life on your own terms. So settle in, because we're here for some positive change. So let's explore together where your mojo meets the road. In today's episode, I'm going to review the mantra for the week and then we're going to dig into today's main topic, which is breaking up with guilt. Dig into today's main topic, which is breaking up with guilt why we let it haunt us and how to let that shit go. So you stick around and I'm going to make sure that you're glad that you did. Let's start with today's mantra and get tuned in, tapped in and turned on.

Speaker 1:

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the 28th episode of Pocketful of Mojo. Once again, I'm Steph. I'm your mojo maven, your cheerleader, your soul sister, your emotional sherpa, and boy am I glad you're here. This episode is going to be pretty liberating. So, pitter, patter, let's get at her. Let's start by digging into today's mantra. Today's mantra is today, I let go of the guilt weighing on my shoulders. All right, gather around folks, because we're going to talk about a mantra that's going to hit you right in the feels.

Speaker 1:

Today, I let go of the guilt weighing on my shoulders. We all know that feeling of guilt, right, it's like that annoying friend that just won't leave you alone, constantly reminding you of every little thing you've ever done wrong. Well, it's time to show that guilt the door and reclaim your peace of mind. Today, I let go of the guilt weighing on my shoulders. Now, don't get me wrong. There is a time and a place for a healthy dose of guilt. It can keep us in check, make us reflect on our actions and it can push us to do better. But let's be real, carrying around a backpack full of guilt 24-7, ain't nobody got time for that. It's like dragging around a ball and chain weighing you down with unnecessary baggage. Today, I let go of the guilt weighing on my shoulders.

Speaker 1:

You see, guilt has a sneaky way of showing up in different forms. Maybe it's the nagging feeling when you treat yourself to something nice or when you take a moment for some self-care instead of doing the hustling non-stop. It can even rear its head when you slip up or behave in a way that's less than ideal. But here's the thing Dwelling on that guilt ain't gonna do you any favors. It's like trying to swim with ankle weights on. Today, I let go of the guilt weighing on my shoulders.

Speaker 1:

So how do we kick guilt to the curb and reclaim our peace? Well, it starts with acknowledging it first of all, giving it a nod of recognition and then kindly telling it to take a hike. Practice forgiveness, both for yourself and for other people. Remind yourself that you're human, you're bound to make mistakes, and that's okay. And that's the moment you can start to heal and make genuine amends. And that's the moment you can start to heal and make genuine amends and, most importantly, focus on this present moment, because today it's all we've got. So say it with me. Today I let go of the guilt weighing on my shoulders. Doesn't that feel lighter already One more time for the people in the cheap seats. Today, I let go of the guilt wing on my shoulders. Okay, welcome back.

Speaker 1:

Let's get into it. Guilt Peace out. Let's dig into how we're going to do that. Let's start by talking about something that we've all faced at one point or another, and that is guilt. Yeah, that's right. That sticky, pesky feeling that seems to cling to our very being, especially for those of us who identify as people pleasers. And sometimes it seems like there's no way around it, and even harder to shake it off. We get tangled up in the shoulds and the ought tos of life, and the second we try to set a boundary or protect our time. Ding, dong, there it is. Guilt arrives, the uninvited guest that nobody likes. It's that jerk that steals your mojo and pulls your attention away from things that truly serve you Well, no more. It's time to let go of that weight and reclaim your power. Are you ready? Let's dive in.

Speaker 1:

First, let's call out the elephant in the room. People pleasers are some of the most wonderful, empathetic and caring individuals out there. You go above and beyond to make sure everyone around you is happy, taken care of and feeling good, often at the expense of your own happiness. Sound familiar? You might recognize these possible traits Saying yes when you may, no because you don't want to disappoint anyone. Bending over backwards to accommodate other people even when it's inconvenient for you. Constantly seeking validation and approval from other people. Feeling responsible and internalizing other people's emotions and reactions. Now, listen up and listen well.

Speaker 1:

While being caring and considerate are admirable traits, there is a fine line between being kind and losing yourself in the process, and that is where guilt comes in. It makes us hard to focus on our own needs and our own desires. Trust me, I am the first to admit that I've been there and suffered the consequences, and you can trust and believe that avoiding setting boundaries for yourself to sidestep the guilt yeah, tried, that Didn't work, so let's dig a bit deeper Guilt can be a real buzzkill. It's that nagging voice in your head that tells you that you're being selfish for wanting a little me time or for simply saying no to somebody's request. It convinces you that putting yourself first is wrong. But here's the truth Guilt is a stupid liar. When we operate from a place of guilt, we compromise our own well-being and our happiness, and if you're new here, these are pillars of being a mojo master. Compromising yourself not only affects our relationship with ourselves, but also our relationships with other people. Let's dig into that a bit more Now. I don't know if you could hear that, but I think an ice cream truck just went by and I got really distracted. So I'm back now.

Speaker 1:

So imagine your relationship with yourself as the foundation of a house. If the foundation is shaky, everything built on top of it is shaky at best. Yourself constantly putting other people first and allow guilt or the avoiding of the guilt to drive your decisions, that foundation weakens even more. So let's figure out a way that we can go about our lives and set ourselves free. It's time to break up with the guilt, and this time it's final. Here's how we're going to do it. Reflective exercise number one the foundation check.

Speaker 1:

I want you to take a moment to write down answers to these questions. Number one how often do you prioritize your own needs? Number two when was the last time that you said no without feeling guilty? Number three do you feel deserving of love and care from yourself, why or why not? When you read your answers, you might notice patterns that point to a need for self-care and some self-love. Strengthening that relationship that you have with yourself is the first step in breaking up with guilt.

Speaker 1:

Now let's consider how this internal struggle with guilt impacts the relationships with other people, and the first way is resentment. Constantly putting other people first can lead to resentment. Over time you might start feeling taken for granted or unappreciated. Then, when you realize the role that you played in your own unhappiness, the guilt just feeds off of that. And then you're right back where you started Not cute.

Speaker 1:

The second way it shows up is lack of authenticity. Here's what I mean by that. When you're always saying yes to please other people, you're not being true to yourself. You should always be saying yes to things. Don't get me wrong. It's what you say yes to that matters here. If you're saying yes to things that make you happy, then yeah, do that. But if making other people happy is what makes you happy, then I'm here to say babe, there's more to life than that. You're not Mother Teresa. Put the obligation down and slowly walk away.

Speaker 1:

This lack of authenticity is going to create a disconnect in your relationships because you're disconnected from yourself, which will quickly lead to number three burnout. One thing that we can hopefully agree on people pleasing is exhausting. We hide it well, but yeah, it's a drain, because where's the line? When we say yes to everyone and everything, it will lead to burnout. Then you're really in the shit. If you don't catch yourself in time, you can be totally unavailable to anyone.

Speaker 1:

So let's go into exercise number two relationship inventory. Make a list of your closest relationships, however many there are in your tribe, and then answer these questions for each of them. Do I feel resentful or exhausted after interacting with this person? Am I able to express my true feelings and my needs with this person? Am I able to express my true feelings and my needs with this person? Does this person really appreciate me for who I am or just for what I can do for them? This kind of inventory is going to help you identify the relationships that may need some boundaries or even some adjustments.

Speaker 1:

Now let's get to the good part, finally, right, reclaiming your power and kicking guilt to the curb. Here's how we're going to do it. Well, we start where we normally start, and that's setting some boundaries, because here it's okay to say no. You want to start with small boundaries and gradually work up to the big ones. Remember, no is a complete sentence. And start small with something that's low stakes. You'll gradually get to be more comfortable with it and your boundaries are going to start revealing themselves to you little by little. Just keep paying attention.

Speaker 1:

The next key ingredient give yourself some self-care. Focus on doing some activities that nurture your body, your mind and your spirit. This could be anything from the relaxing bath that I talk about all the time, or reading a book or doing some meditating. But the key here is to do something that recharges you. There's no wrong answer here. The trick is just tune into yourself. Listen for what you need. Maybe it's just wandering around the craft store or popping into the flower shop and treating yourself to something beautiful. You do. You boo. Don't wait until the tank is empty.

Speaker 1:

The third key ingredient affirmations. Replace those guilty thoughts with positive affirmations. Try saying I deserve to put myself first or taking care of myself is not selfish. Remember you can only spend energy in one place at a time. If you're committed to preserving your well-being, you'll offset the guilty nonsense thought with these affirmations. That will then reinforce your dedication to your well-being and basta. No room at the table for stupid guilt. You get to choose who's invited when it comes to your thoughts, so choose wisely.

Speaker 1:

The next key piece is to get some support. You are not an island. Surround yourself with people who understand and respect your need for self-care. Consider talking to a therapist or joining a support group if you feel like you want some more support. Ain't no shame in the self-love game, my friend, having someone help you see your blind spots and chaperone you to the other side of the trickier thoughts. It's always a good investment. The insights that I got from my therapist were not only of huge value, but gave me a space where I could put all the bags down, all the guilt, the shame, the fear, the sadness, and it was a safe place where I could ugly, cry and let go and just observe everything that was going on in a way that gave me the greatest gift perspective. Everyone's experience will be different, so I wish you the very best in getting the help that you need, whatever shape that takes for you.

Speaker 1:

When we pivot into exercise number three, we're going to practice with those boundaries. Choose one small boundary to set this week. It could be saying no to a social event that you're really not interested in or setting aside an hour every day just for you. But I want you to write down and commit to yourself which boundary you're going to set and how that makes you feel. For me, I've been lacking self-love in the physical exercise department Before. I could blame it on winter weather, but it's June now, so kind of got to step up here. The heavy lifting I've been doing, carrying around the weight of the guilt of not doing it, should have made me a CrossFit champion by now. Alas, I've made the commitment to, no matter what, do Pilates before coffee, and I'm happy to report that I'm 13 for 13 so far, and it feels amazing. Now, as you start to draw that line in the sand and get ready to break up with guilt, it's really important to practice self-love and compassion, understand that you are a work in progress and that's perfectly okay. There will be times when guilt still tries to creep back in, but with every step you take, you're going to grow stronger and more confident in being able to prioritize yourself, which takes us to exercise.

Speaker 1:

Number four daily gratitude. Every single day, I want you to write down a minimum of three things that you are grateful for, but this time it's things that you're grateful for about yourself. Now, this could be anything from your kindness to your resilience, to your sense of humor. Building an attitude of gratitude for yourself really helps to reinforce a positive self-image and reduces those good-for-nothing feelings of guilt. Bottom line here my friends know your worth, and then add tax.

Speaker 1:

Look, breaking up with guilt. It's a process, not a one-time deal. It takes patience, practice and a whole lot of self-love. But just think about how much free time you'll have when you're not feeling guilty all the time. So much room for activities. Remember, you are worthy of care, attention and love, not just from other peoples, but from your own fine self. And who better to know what you like right and who better to know what you like right? So here's to setting boundaries, saying no without guilt and loving the beautiful, authentic, gorgeous creature that you are. You've got this. Now go out there and shine unapologetically.

Speaker 1:

Thank you so much for tuning into today's episode. Remember, self-love and self-acceptance are the foundation for a Mojo Master, and I know that you have everything you need to live a full life, to fill your own cup and to drink in all the good stuff that this life has to offer. You deserve it Now. Make sure you subscribe to Pocketful Emojo wherever you find your favorite podcasts, and come back next week where we can work together to level up on how we navigate this crazy life Capisce. So until then, stay awesome and keep spreading those positive vibes. Be kind out there. Toodaloo kangaroo.

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