How To Embrace Your Awesome

I'll never forget the day I realized that my relationships and self-esteem were teetering on a flimsy scaffold of people-pleasing. It was a hard pill to swallow, but it kickstarted my journey towards trust, acceptance, and profound self-love. Join me, Steph, as I lay bare the transformative power of building robust relationships—starting with the one you have with yourself. This episode is an open-hearted exploration of the mantra that changed my life: "I build relationships on a foundation of acceptance and trust." We'll traverse the terrain of self-acceptance as a pivotal element in creating deep and stable connections, while also recognizing how it anchors our own sense of belonging and worth.

Embrace your quirks, unleash your mojo, and let's waltz into a world where self-love isn't just a buzzword, but the pulse of our existence. I'll walk you through the blooming garden of self-love, and together we'll commit to nurturing it daily. As we wrap up, I extend an invitation to share your own tales of self-empowerment on Instagram and give you a sneak peek into our upcoming episode brimming with empowerment and glittering greatness. It's time to wrap yourself in the superhero cape of self-acceptance, and stride into your journey of fulfillment. Remember, you're not just enough; you're an overflowing cup of marvelous. Stay fabulous, and let's continue to weave kindness into the fabric of our lives.

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Chapters

• 0:10 Building Self-Acceptance for Positive Change
• 15:38 Embracing Self-Love and Empowerment

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:10

welcome to your new favorite podcast, pocket full of mojo, where you're, you and I'm steph, and we tune in here to tap into some mojo. You see, I think I've cracked the code to being happy. I'm happy every damn day, like for real. Now I wasn't always this way Trust and believe and I don't mean to brag, but I have had breakdowns on multiple continents. But by paying attention and living with intention, I've curated a wellness first aid kit full of amazing tools that help me out of and help me avoid getting into life's most sticky and stressful situations. Now I'm not here to gatekeep, so settle in. We're here for some positive change. So let's explore together where your mojo meets the road. In today's episode, I'm going to review the mantra for the week and then we're going to dig into today's main topic, which is self-acceptance, getting to know you and loving every bit of it. I know you've got so many podcasts to choose from, so I'm super pumped that you're here. So stick around and I'll make sure you're glad you did. Let's get started with today's mantra and get tuned in, tapped in and turned on. Hello and welcome to the 19th episode of Pocketful Emojo. Once again, I'm Steph. Thanks for being here. This is going to be a very self-loving episode, so let's get right to it. We're going to start by digging into today's mantra, which is I build relationships on a foundation of acceptance and trust. Yes, my friend, yes to all of this. Okay, let's break this down. I build relationships on a foundation of acceptance and trust. This mantra is a little different because it affirms that relationships are fluid and built and that it's a process. This is super key when doing inventory of our relationships and knowing what to keep and maybe considering what we need to let go. I build relationships on a foundation of acceptance and trust. Now, if you've listened to this podcast before, you'll know that the most important relationship that you will ever have is the one that you have with yourself. This is the key component to everything that comes after. So when you accept and trust yourself, you have a running, no sprinting head start on being able to love, accept and trust other people. I build relationships on a foundation of acceptance and trust. Acceptance and trust are, yeah, foundational. Placing value on anything else above these two things leads to a shaky foundation. When these two things are missing or compromised in any way, the house of cards falls down when you have these two elements as part of your own relationship with yourself. It allows you well, it empowers you to make sure that the people in your life are accepted as they accept you and can be trusted as you trust yourself. I build relationships on a foundation of acceptance and trust. When you're in a relationship whether it's a friendship or romantic, or even professional that does not have these two elements, well, my friend, proceed with eyes wide open when you have these two elements securely in your own mojo, look, this is the best part. It's easier to spot the missing pieces and respond accordingly, for the sake of your own mojo. I build relationships on a foundation of acceptance and trust. Okay, welcome back. Foundation Laid, yes.

Speaker 1: 4:29

So today we're going to talk about how to own your awesome. It's going to be a guide to self-acceptance for us people pleasers. So let's have some real talk about something we've been skirting around for far too long Self-acceptance. Yeah, I know it's a buzzword. It's thrown around a lot, but trust me, it's more than just a trend or a hashtag. It's at the root of a whole lot of what we've been talking about. It's the key to unlocking a life that's filled with honest-to-goodness happiness and bona fide fulfillment. Doesn't that sound good? Honest-to-goodness happiness and bona fide fulfillment Doesn't that sound good? So grab a cup of your favorite brew, cozy up and let's dive in. This is the sexy world of self-acceptance.

Speaker 1: 5:14

So, first things first, we're going to address the elephant in the room, and that's our frustration and challenges, because we've all been there. The bending over backward to make everyone else happy and in the background, we're neglecting our own needs and sometimes not even being able to identify what our own needs are. It's exhausting, right, the running around, the spending time and energy that we don't have, seeking validation from other people, fearing rejection at the same time, and tiptoeing around to avoid the conflict. This should be ringing some bells for you, my fellow recovering people pleasers. But guess what? It's time to kick those old habits and tendencies to the curb and instead we're here to reclaim our power because, my friend, it's yours for the taking. You see, the relationship that we have with ourselves really sets the tone for every other relationship we have in our lives. And if you stick around, you'll hear me say this a thousand times, because I believe it so deeply and I'm going to say it again the relationship that we have with ourselves sets the tone for all the other relationships that we have with our partner, with our friends, with our boss, with our co-workers, with our neighbors. If we're constantly seeking approval from them in one way or another, it's because we don't feel worthy or lovable. So how can we expect to form real connections? Look, we teach the world how to treat us, not the other way around.

Speaker 1: 6:48

Living this life without self-acceptance I mean true and deep self-acceptance it's like trying to build a house on a shaky foundation it's bound to crumble. So are you feeling like the ground beneath your feet is a little crumbly? Well, that's to be expected, my darling. But you're not alone, and that's why we're here. We're here to solidify the ground beneath our feet so that we can walk through this life with some confidence, some self-assuredness in every single step. And I'm here to tell you that that's not only possible, it's your birthright.

Speaker 1: 7:25

So we're going to start with the hard truth. We are the masters of our own destiny, you are the architect of your own life, you are the painter of your future. And yes, I did just get an A plus in cliches just there. It's true. But the other truth is that we are the only ones responsible for how the world treats us, because we teach others how to treat us by what we tolerate and how we treat ourselves. Let that sink in for a moment. If we don't respect ourselves enough to set the boundaries and stand up for our needs, why should anyone else? Why do we expect other people to treat us better than we treat ourselves? Why do we expect other people to treat us better than we treat ourselves? Now, that can be a tough pill to swallow, but this is the sugar you need to make the medicine go down a little easier.

Speaker 1: 8:15

So how do we break free from this vicious cycle of people-pleasing and step into our power? Well, it all starts with self-acceptance. Okay, that's great, but what exactly does that mean? Well, my friends, self-acceptance is about loving, with a capital L, every single part of ourselves the good, the bad, the downright messy. Love your mistakes, love the extra 10 pounds, love your achievements, love the journey, love your failures, love the highs and the lows, love the way you think, love the way you talk, all of it. It's about loving ourselves unconditionally, flaws and all.

Speaker 1: 8:58

Now let's clear up some confusion Self-esteem, self-worth and self-image Are they all the same thing? No, not quite. Self-esteem is about how we feel about ourselves in relation to other people. It's often tied to outside validation and can go up and down based on our personal wins and losses, whereas self-image, on the other hand, is how we perceive ourselves physically and mentally. And then there's self-worth, which is the big kahuna. It's about recognizing our true and pure value as human beings, regardless of the outside feedback and changing factors.

Speaker 1: 9:40

This one is a steady Eddie, and here's where it gets real. As people pleasers, our need for recognition can sometimes overshadow our own self-worth. We can run the risk and become so consumed with making others happy that we forget to prioritize our own happiness and our own well-being. But we got to remember no amount of external validation will ever fill the void if we don't believe in our own worth. So how do we create a healthy sense of self-worth? Well, that's a great question. This is the part where we do some inner work, my friends.

Speaker 1: 10:17

So your homework, should you choose to accept it, is to look at your calendar and book an appointment with yourself. I want you to do this within the next two days and really start looking forward to it, because this exercise can be a game changer. I'll make sure the homework is in the show notes, so if you're multitasking or driving while listening to this, you can come back and do it later. Now make sure that during this time that you've set aside for yourself, you are 100% unavailable. That you've set aside for yourself, you are 100% unavailable. This is the first step to prioritizing yourself and you're honoring the time that you're putting into yourself. There's nothing more important.

Speaker 1: 10:57

Then I want you to grab a journal and let's get introspective. Start by listing three things that you love about yourself, no matter how big or small it could be your sense of humor, your eyes, your killer dance moves, your kindness, whatever makes you you. Next, I want you to think about the relationship that you have with yourself. Are you treating yourself with the same love and compassion that you show your favorite people, or are you constantly criticizing yourself and berating yourself for not being enough or for being imperfect? Same love and compassion that you show your favorite people, or are you constantly criticizing yourself and berating yourself for not being enough or for being imperfect? This is the time to be honest with yourself. Remember, self-acceptance is about embracing all aspects of yourself, even the parts you'd rather keep hidden.

Speaker 1: 11:44

Now let's talk about boundaries. Grab another sheet of paper and drop down three boundaries that you need to set in your life to protect your energy and your well-being. And how do you know where to start if you're new to boundaries? Well, start thinking about the things that you do. That give you a little ick before you do them. Like when you say yes, when you want to say no and if you're having trouble, think back over the last week. Just really do some reflection and think about where were the moments that you felt some discomfort? Where did you feel like you were out of tune with what you really want and what feels right? Where are you feeling resistance? Start there. Give yourself permission and grace to go to the uncomfortable place and, without judgment, observe how it went and then use your imagination to think about what it would look like if it went differently, if it went in your favor. It's your imagination, so you get to direct the outcome.

Speaker 1: 12:45

It could be saying no to that extra work assignment when you're already stretched too thin, or maybe you just don't want to, and that's okay too. Or maybe it's setting limits on how much time you spend on the scroll on the social medias, or, on that note, maybe you're going to set aside some time to do a social media audit. This is so important. This is when you go through all the people that you follow and you really interrogate how their posts make you feel. I know I did this once because there was somebody that I really admired and they were doing really well, and it brought out these feelings of like envy and jealousy and I'm like, oh, I did not like how these were making me feel, so I made the choice to unfollow them and obviously go deeper on the things of why am I feeling this way? But I didn't want to fall into that comparison trap. So if they don't lift you up or inspire you, they're out unfollowed and this protects you from feeling less than or getting injured from the comparison trap.

Speaker 1: 13:52

Boundaries are essential for preserving your sanity and maintaining healthy relationships. Period and finally, as part of your homework, I want you to practice self-care like your life depends on it, because it does. I want you to get really good at celebrating your accomplishments, your growth and keeping your cup full. Take a bubble bath, go for a walk, indulge in your favorite hobby. Look, there's no prescription. It's whatever brings you joy, whatever fills your cup, whatever lights up your soul. Do more of that. Start from where you are.

Speaker 1: 14:31

One thing that I've learned when it comes to self-care and this is a bonus tip extravaganza that seems so obvious, but I learned this way too late and it's this Self-care is not something you do when you're burned out and drained, it's a way of life. If your cup is constantly empty and you're feeling like you're running through life on fumes, then you've got some work to do, my friend. But the good news is that this kind of work is designed to make you feel good and to fill your cup. So my advice is this do not wait for your cup to be empty. Approach self-care as a way to keep your cup full.

Speaker 1: 15:11

Think about how you go through life when you're burnt out and running on empty. Now picture yourself going through life with a cup that's overflowing. Really, spend some time imagining what that would feel like. Let your imagination run wild. Sit in that feeling. That's the goal. Now picture that not being a one-off or a special event. Picture that as just being how good life is.

Speaker 1: 15:38

That's mojo, my friend, and you're worthy and deserving and capable of feeling that good life is. That's mojo, my friend, and you're worthy and deserving and capable of feeling that good every day. So, my friends, let's make a pact right here let's commit to loving ourselves fiercely, unapologetically. Let's embrace our quirks, our imperfections and our beautifully messy lives, because when we accept ourselves fully, the world can't help but follow suit. You are worthy, you are enough and you are deserving of all the love and happiness in the world. So go ahead, embrace your awesome. You've got this and remember I'm cheering you on every step of the way.

Speaker 1: 16:25

Thank you so much for tuning into today's episode. Remember, self-love and self-acceptance are the foundation for a mojo master, and I know that you have everything you need to live a life, to fill your own cup and drink it all in All that good stuff that this life has to offer. You deserve it. So be sure to find me on Insta and let me know how your mojo is coming along, and you can find my handle and a few fun links in the show notes, along with today's exercises. Make sure you check that out and come back next time where we explore all that is empowerment. So get your superhero capes ready, because it's going to be a glitter, and until then, stay fabulous. Keep spreading love. Be kind out there, toodaloo kangaroo.