Pocketful of Mojo
Pocketful of Mojo
The Unspoken Power of Self-Validation
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Have you ever stood at a crossroads of self-reflection, pondering your worth beyond the applause and accolades? Join me, Steph, as we embark on an intimate exploration into the realms of self-recognition and empowerment, where the quest for validation becomes a deeply personal affair. We'll traverse the psychological landscapes that shape our need for approval and uncover how to affirm our own achievements. From the very mantra that whispers, "I am worthy of recognition and success," to the shared experiences of high achievers wrestling with the unsustainable chase for external validation, this episode is a tapestry of personal anecdotes and transformative insights. It's a solo journey this time—no guests, just raw, unfiltered conversations between you and me, inviting you to become the architect of your own contentment and success.
In the spirit of the season, I reflect on how we can turn personal rituals, like the holidays, into milestones of self-worth and resilience. The episode takes a heartfelt turn as I recount the evolution of my Christmas traditions in the wake of my mother's passing, illustrating how we can set intentions that resonate with our innermost desires, even in the face of family expectations and the complex emotions they stir. Through tales of festive preparations made in honor of my mom's legacy and for my own satisfaction, we'll unravel the essence of finding contentment within, despite the reactions (or lack thereof) from those around us. As we close the chapter, I leave you with an invitation to join our community—a place where we harness the power of self-love and self-acceptance to become Mojo Masters, spreading kindness and positivity wherever we go.
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More Mojo: https://linktr.ee/moststephinately
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Music from #Uppbeat
https://uppbeat.io/t/mountaineer/run-away
Welcome to your new favorite podcast, pocketful of Mojo, where you're, you and I'm Steph, and we tune in here to tap into some mojo. You see, I think I've cracked the code to being happy. I'm happy every single day for real and I know it wasn't always this way like trust and believe, and I'm not here to brag, but I've had breakdowns on multiple continents. But by paying attention and living with more intention, I've curated a wellness first aid kit and it's full of amazing tools that help me out of and avoid getting into life's most sticky and stressful situations. And I'm not here to gatekeep, so please settle in. We're here for some positive change. So let's explore where your mojo meets the road. In today's episode, I'm going to review the mantra for the week and then we're going to dig into today's main topic, and that topic is seeking recognition, a people pleaser's favorite vitamin. And, look, I know you've got a levendy bajillion podcasts to choose from. So I'm super stoked with gratitude that you're here. So you stick around and I'll make sure that you're glad you did. Let's get started with today's mantra and get tuned in, tapped in and turned on.
Speaker 1:Hello and welcome to the 18th episode of Pocketful of Mojo. Once again. I'm Steph, I'm your hostess, I'm your Mojo Maven, I'm your cheerleader and I'm super jazzed you're here. This episode is going to be particularly helpful, so let's get right to it. Let's start by digging into today's mantra, which is to it. Let's start by digging into today's mantra, which is I am worthy of recognition and success that comes with accomplishing my goals. Ooh, this is a good one. This one can be looked at a few different ways, so let's dig in. I am worthy of the recognition and success that comes with accomplishing my goals. Worthiness it is subjective, folks, and the truth is is that it begins and ends with you. You inform the world of your greatness by how you show up in the world. Let's remember that as we move ahead. I am worthy of the recognition and success that comes with accomplishing my goals. Now, while recognition and success feel great when it's validated from the outside world, this mantra multiplies in its power when we discover that the recognition and the praise that comes with our success is of our own. Doing that reward and feel-good feeling doesn't need anyone else's stamp of approval. This is your call to action to never, ever minimize your contributions and always, always, be the first to celebrate your success. I am worthy of the recognition and success that comes with accomplishing my goals.
Speaker 1:Look, maybe you have a hard time receiving praise and accolades. I know it took me some time. Maybe you shluff it off as no big deal or dilute your praise or share the credit with other people. You think that standing in the spotlight is egotistical, or maybe you just don't like the attention in the spotlight is egotistical, or maybe you just don't like the attention. Well, my friend, it's time to collect your dues. Stand in your power and own your achievements, because you deserve it. I am worthy of the recognition and success that comes with accomplishing my goals. Look, a goal without action is just a dream. So when you've achieved your goal, or even a step towards it, that is proof that you are in the right lane, doing the right thing, and you likely don't have to look for very long to see how far you've already come. So take your moment. Let the praise and recognition fuel your next steps. Step into your light, find your shine. I am worthy of the recognition and success that comes with accomplishing my goals.
Speaker 1:Now, mojarrino, in my observations, there's a common thread among high achievers we work, we strive and we give a little extra, and if we haven't exceeded expectations, then we're just not done with the job yet. Always aiming to deliver the wow, good enough isn't ever quite good enough, but as most trends go, it can get tiresome, literally and figuratively. So let me ask you, gorgeous listener, are you tired of putting your heart and soul into your work only to feel like it's never enough? Do you find yourself craving recognition for your hard work only to feel frustrated when the kudos don't come your way? Well, my friend, look, you're not alone. Let's dive into this juicy world of getting props for your hard work and why it's so darn important to recognize your own worth first.
Speaker 1:Now let's address the elephant in the room the never-ending quest for approval and recognition. As people pleasers, we often find ourselves looking for that validation from other people. When I was thinking about this topic, about myself and doing a little bit of self-reflection, I have noticed that there is a little stuff inside me that shows up like a kid at the pool screaming watch me dive, watch me dive, look at me, look at me, and that's worth paying some attention to. There can be parts of us from where we were little that haven't healed, maybe haven't been heard, and maybe they still need some love. We pour our energy into making everyone else happy, hoping that in return they'll shower us with that sweet, sweet praise and recognition. But here's the kicker Relying solely on external validation is like building your house on a shaky foundation.
Speaker 1:Sure, it might stand for a while, but eventually it's going to come crashing down. So why do we do it? Why do we constantly seek approval from other people? What do they have that we crave so badly? Well, like all things mojo, it all comes down to our relationship with ourselves. You see, when we lack a healthy sense of self-worth, we look to others to fill that void. We become like hungry little puppies begging for scraps of affection and affirmation just to sustain us. But here's the truth, brom babe no amount of external validation will ever truly fill the void. That's right. True self-worth? It comes from inside of you. So what exactly is healthy self-worth comes from inside of you.
Speaker 1:So what exactly is healthy self-worth? Think of it like this it's the unwavering, unshakable belief that you are inherently worthy, regardless of what other people think, regardless of what other people say. Healthy self-worth is the recognition that your worthiness isn't based on how many pats on the back you get or how many gold stars you collect. That is an old system, but because it was introduced to us while we were growing and learning about life, it's like it's part of our hardwiring, it's integrated into our operating system, but we weren't calling the shots back then and we know so much more now about ourselves, about life and about our worth. That old system, it's outdated. We need a system reboot, we need an update.
Speaker 1:So this is about owning your value and standing tall in your shoes, regardless of whether anyone else sees it or not. So how do we do that? Well, let's talk about what happens when we find ourselves in that vicious cycle of craving that sweet, sweet recognition or resenting the fact that we don't get it. It's not a great feeling and it can trigger a really unruly spiral the pangs of resentment, the questioning of our worth and a second look at our work and contribution Not a great feeling. That conversation with yourself of what does it take to please these people? Yeah, also not a cute look and it certainly doesn't inspire our best work and it can taint a good mood real quick.
Speaker 1:For example, I'm going to take us back to last Christmas. You see, in my house, growing up, christmas was a full-blown experience. It started in early December and lasted all month long Constant smell of baking in the house, and there wasn't a room that wasn't touched by Christmas decorations. We had several generations of decorations that were not limited to the tree. No, ma'am, the bathrooms had Christmas. Hand towels, the tea towels were Christmas, the coasters, the glassware, the table runners, the lights, the ornaments, the garlands, the handrails it was a Christmas extravaganza. You see, my mom was always a housewife, or, as I like to call her, a domestic goddess, as I later rebranded her. So this was like her Super Bowl. Oh, and her birthday was also on December 24th, so there was so much to celebrate and it was really a house of joy.
Speaker 1:So when my mom died a few years ago, christmas got real hard, real hard. The first one was just disorienting what to do, how to do it, and finding it hard to find joy in the middle of all the grief. And it was tricky, but we all did our best to honor her and her legacy and it was so, so hard. So the year after that I had the very best intentions and I got everything all set up and then I got called away out of the province on a job and thanks to canceled flights and a couple of snowstorms, I ended up missing Christmas entirely, didn't even get to see my family. So this last year I knew that our time together in the same house that my parents bought in 1968, I should add, it was precious.
Speaker 1:My dad's health isn't doing so great and I wasn't going to take this year for granted. So I took my time and I thought, okay, who am I doing this for? Last year I did a little bit but I wasn't there. And yet the world kept turning. Christmas came and went and they didn't need all the bells and whistles. So I said this year I'm going to do it for me and for Mom's legacy, and if other people want to enjoy it, that's great. But I'm doing this for me. And so I did. I had my fellow Christmas friend, kristen come over, we put on the new Cher Christmas album mixed with a bit of Johnny Mathis for mom, and we decorated the shit out of this house. No box went unopened and there were several, many boxes. No room untouched by our Christmas spirit and the house looked amazing. No room untouched by our Christmas spirit and the house looked amazing. My baking game was on point and this was all done by the first week in December so that we could spend the entire month enjoying it. Oh, felt so good, so fast forward to Christmas morning.
Speaker 1:Christmas morning rolls around and my two brothers and their families eventually show up for family brunch. And as much as I vowed that this was for me and my intentions were to do this so that I could enjoy it and the rest was a bonus. But I swear I could hear a voice in my head as they were settling in saying did they like it? Are they going to be impressed? Are they going to see how hard I worked and comment on how great everything looks? Because, let's be real, the house looked spectacular. But you know what they said? I swear their jackets were barely off and they sat down on the couch in front of the beautifully adorned trees, surrounded by heirloom decorations, listening to Christmas carols, with a smell of freshly baked cinnamon buns and coffee, timed perfectly for their arrival. And you know what they said. They said huh, tree looks crooked.
Speaker 1:Now for a second I thought I'd been shot in the heart. I was hurt, angry, sad, disappointed, and my response was to communicate the way our family communicates best, and that's with sarcasm. So I said oh good, you found the one flaw in the whole house filled with beautiful decoration and attention to detail, you win 50 points. Who wants coffee? And I did my best to hide the sting that I was feeling, because that's also something that my family's really good at. But we can unpack that on another episode Now.
Speaker 1:Had that been called out between compliments and kudos, maybe it would have landed differently and for sure, that comment cut deeper, because they're my family and I love them and all I really want to do is impress them and please them. Yeah, yeah, I'm working on that. But my point is that there's something to be said about intention. If I hadn't consciously set the intention at the top of the season that this was for me and not for others, that comment would have probably destroyed me instead of just giving me a minor wound, because I would have put all of my happiness eggs in that basket of pleasing them and when they showed up with a criticism I would have been crushed with an empty basket. So that small sting that I felt in comparison was actually not too bad. The feeling of being shot was only fleeting and that intention that I had set before I hung a single decoration preserved my self-worth and it allowed me to be resilient in the situation and enjoy the rest of Christmas, which was the whole point, and no comment could then derail my Christmas spirit, no matter how many Grinches showed up that day, because I did it and I did it for me.
Speaker 1:So how was I able to eventually be so Teflon about it? Well, first off, I took a deep breath, because it's okay to crave recognition we're human, after all but when that craving starts to overshadow our own self-worth, that's when we've got a problem. So what's the solution? How can this carry forward into your life and help you when you're in similar situation? Well, it's simple, really. It's about flipping the script and shifting your focus inward. This time, instead of looking to others first for validation, we need to start validating ourselves, and guess what? You're more than capable of doing. Just that. It's a matter of awareness, intention and remembering that your opinion of yourself is what matters most.
Speaker 1:Here's a little exercise for you. I want you to grab a pen and paper or your fancy smartphone, if you're feeling tech savvy and make a list of all the things that you're proud of accomplishing Big things, small things. Just make the list and when you're feeling stuck, push yourself to keep going. Add two more things to the list. Maybe you'll finally conquer that intimidating project at work, or maybe you managed to drag your butt out of bed and go for a run this morning. Whatever it is, write it down.
Speaker 1:Bask in the glory of your own achievements. Now take a moment to think about how these accomplishments make you feel Pretty darn good. Right, go over that list over and over and then sit in that feeling of feeling good for one minute, two minutes. Give yourself that glory. Put yourself on that podium, hang that medal around your own neck, look at all your gold stars. That is the power of self-validation, my friend. It's about you recognizing your own worth and celebrating yourself. No external validation required.
Speaker 1:But here's the kicker it's not just about patting yourself on the back and calling it a day. It's about creating a deeper sense of self-love and acceptance. It's about recognizing that you're worthy of love and respect simply because you exist. So the next time you find yourself craving recognition or resenting the fact that you don't get it, remember this you are worthy, with or without the props. I mean, look, the props are nice and all and we'll take them, but they're way less essential when you're taking charge of filling your own cup. Own your worth, celebrate your victories and remember that you're enough, just as you are. Perfect, little human. You Now go forth, my friend, and celebrate your worth with open arms and maybe some ice cream. It's the fun part and no one is going to stop you, but they may join in. You know you're worthy of celebration, so lead the charge and feel that difference.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for tuning into today's episode. Remember, self-love and self-acceptance are the foundation for a Mojo Master, and I know that you have everything you need to live a life, to fill your own cup and drink in all the success and recognition that you deserve. To fill your own cup and drink in all the success and recognition that you deserve. Be sure to find me on Insta and let me know how you're coming along with your mojo adventure, and you can find my handle and a few fun links in the show notes, so make sure you check that out. Come back next time where we explore self-acceptance and all the goodies that come with it, an episode you don't want to miss. So until then, stay fabulous and keep spreading those positive vibes. Be kind out there. Toodaloo kangaroo.
