Transforming Chaos into Calm

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Ever felt like your clock runs you instead of the other way around? Fear not, my fellow time-tangled friends! It's your mojo maven, Steph, here to lead you through the thickets of time management mayhem. In a heart-to-heart about life's ticking soundtrack, I share the personal journey that led me to the mantra, "Time doesn't decide when I do." We'll unpack the beauty of investing in ourselves, and I'll reveal how learning to embrace the delicious nothingness without a side of guilt can revolutionize the way we tick. Expect to walk away with a renewed sense of timing, ready to craft a life narrative that truly sings your tune.

And while we're on the subject of harmony, let's talk forgiveness – it's not just a word, it's a liberation spell I'm dying to share with you. There's no guest this time, just us and the raw, healing essence of letting go. I’m spilling the beans on how to shed the heavy cloak of past hurts and warmly welcome a life sprinkled with peace and positivity. Whether it's old grudges or recent tiffs, I'll guide you through actionable steps to release the anchor and sail smoothly into your future. Join me, and let's raise a glass to the twin enchantments of time and forgiveness. Toodaloo kangaroo!

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Chapters

• 0:10 Reclaiming Your Time
• 15:23 The Power of Forgiveness

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:10

Welcome to Pocket Full of Mojo, where you're, you and I'm Steph, your mojo maven, and we tune in here to tap into some mojo. You see, I think I've cracked the code to being happy. I'm happy like all the time Maybe not like all day, every day but I've built this tool shed of amazing stuff to help me out of and avoid getting into life's more sticky and stressful situations, and I'm not here to gatekeep. So settle in, take some notes and welcome to where your mojo meets the road. This and every episode is made for you and all about you. What was the last time you spent some time just on you? This episode is made with love and good intention to share with you some delicious nuggets of inspiration and insights to help you stay connected with your very best mojo.

Speaker 1: 1:11

In today's episode, I'm going to review our mantra for the week and then we're going to dig into our main topic, which is taking your time back. That's right, how to put yourself back in the driver's seat of your own agenda. So you stick around and I'll make sure you're glad you did. Let's get started with today's mantra and get tuned in, tapped in and turned on. Hello and welcome to the 12th episode of Pocketful of Mojo. Once again, I'm Steph, your hostess, and mojo maven, and I'm super pumped you're here. This is going to be a killer episode, so let's get right to it.

Speaker 1: 1:56

Let's start by digging into today's mantra, which is time doesn't decide when I do. Time doesn't decide when I do. In a world, this world, where schedules dictate our lives and deadlines loom over our shoulders all the time, it is easy to feel like time holds all the power. But what's hidden in all that chaos of the clock? It's a simple yet profound mantra Time doesn't decide when I do. This mantra really serves as a powerful reminder that we are the architects of our own lives. It's not about waiting for the perfect moment to come knocking on our door. It's about taking control of our lives and making things happen on our own terms. Time doesn't decide when I do. It might be uncomfortable, but when we lean into this mantra, we really release ourselves from the shackles of indecision and procrastination, and we don't have to wait any longer for the stars to align or for fate to intervene. Instead, this mantra really makes us want to take decisive action and pave our own path forward. There's really some good energy behind it. Time doesn't decide when I do. It's really a declaration, right Like it's empowering. It's a rally cry for those who refuse to be passive passengers in this life. It's a call to arms for people who want to dream big and chase after their goals and be determined. So the next time you find yourself hesitating or paralyzed with the fear of the unknown, that anxiety of the future, just remember these words, tap into them, be close, be the light in the dark, you know, because the future is your own making, because, in the end, it's not about waiting for the right moment, it's about creating it. Time doesn't decide when I do.

Speaker 1: 4:06

Okay, well, that was heavy. Oh, today we are diving in the deep end. We are looking at the art of taking your time back. So I want you to picture this for a second you are constantly running around trying to please everyone, but at the end of the day, you're feeling exhausted, my friend. You're overwhelmed, you are wondering where all the time went. And tomorrow's agenda it's just a rinse and repeat. Sound familiar. Well, fear not, my friend. You're here now because today we are flipping the script and we are reclaiming our time with gusto.

Speaker 1: 4:42

Time, eh Well, I've got to say off the hop. I've got a really weird relationship with time. It goes fast, it goes slow. Last week seems like forever ago, but somehow 2014 feels like yesterday, like it's so bizarre. And it's this construct and it's this system that we've built, this Mutually agreed upon rhythm that we all use all around the world. And don't even get me started on daily Daylight savings time. But okay, I digress.

Speaker 1: 5:13

One of the biggest changes in my life was when I decided to pay myself in time. Let me give you some context. So, after my mom died very suddenly in 2021. I was shattered, gutted, walked around like a zombie for weeks, months even, and this also coincided with the official end of my marriage, and I came home to Canada to help out with my 83 year old dad and to process my grief and Process. I did so with all of my worlds burning down like a dumpster fire.

Speaker 1: 5:51

It was time to rewrite the script on how I went about living my life. I had to look at how I got here and start thinking about where I wanted to go, and I was so Unsure of myself that I couldn't even see two or three months into the future. I couldn't even picture it, but I knew that if I kept what served me and left the rest, I could build myself a life that I could get excited about again. So I spent all my time. I got up in the morning and I invested my time like money in the most important project there is Muah. That's me.

Speaker 1: 6:29

What I stopped doing was I stopped putting the needs of other people ahead of my own, and if it didn't contribute Directly to my wellness, I simply didn't participate. It was that black and white. So what did I spend my time on? Whatever I needed, seriously, like I. If I felt like doing nothing, I did nothing, and I learned to do so unapologetically. That one took time. If I felt like crying, I would take the time to cry, not like when I wanted to cry at the office. Then I had to wrap it up in two, three minutes, because that's all the time I could have for myself, without people thinking or would notice that I was gone, or if they cared which news flash. They did not. But it was a strange Rewiring. Let me tell you like I would try and tackle emptying my mom's closet, for example, and then, at the end of this very simple activity, I would be so emotionally exhausted that I would just call it a day and give myself the rest of the day to reflect and heal.

Speaker 1: 7:37

Seriously, I was very, very indulgent with my time, knowing that it was mindfully and purposefully participating in my wellness and Reprogramming myself for a life where I was more in tune with what I needed and to show myself that I would listen to myself and in a better place to accept that. Stop finding distractions aka people pleasing and Really take action for me, for me. And that's when I became best friends with time freedom. I got paid in time every single day, the most precious resource that there is on earth. Remember that the richest people in the world they can't buy more time. We all have the same 24 hours.

Speaker 1: 8:25

I'm sure you've heard that a million times, but I want to acknowledge that my life before this pivotal time was hardcore, people please. Romania, extravaganza to the max has down boots. So I wanted to break down that. You don't need a breakdown to get from where you are now to where you want to go. So let's start by acknowledging some pain points. Let's call it out right now, people please. There's because I feel you. The struggle is real, the self-neglect, the anxiety, the identity loss, the I'll get to my own knees as soon as I take care of everybody else's. But guess what? It's time to stop. You got to break free from that cycle and take back control, because it's your precious time.

Speaker 1: 9:11

So where do we begin? We start with the gratitude. God do the gratitude, my friend's gratitude for the realization that our time is valuable and it's worthy of protection. Gratitude for the opportunity to reclaim your power and live a life on your terms. That is truly a privilege. You know the saying we've all got going for hours. Yeah, it's not the hours, it's how we spend it.

Speaker 1: 9:38

Well, that sounds like a big middle finger to us, people pleasers who run around and try to make everyone else's life easier while sidelining our own. Well, no more, I say so. Let's talk practical applications. Say it with me no is a complete sentence. That's right, folks. It's time to set some boundaries, prioritize your self-care and unapologetically say no to anything that does not align with your values or your goals. And it's that simple. And you know what I say. Just because it's simple doesn't mean it's easy. We often go toe to toe with some resistance at first when we're saying no, we're putting ourselves first, but trust and believe that that feeling will pass and eventually we'll get replaced with feelings of satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment Way better right. So often, and more often than we realize, when we take on something for someone else, we consider it a have to because we made that agreement. But to the person we're doing it for it's actually often not that big of a deal. And if it is a big deal, remember it's not your deal. Remember that.

Speaker 1: 10:54

So here's a bit of homework for you. I wanna give you the five minute rule. Before saying yes to any request, take five minutes to check in with yourself. Set a timer, ask does this align with my priorities? Is this gonna bring me mega joy? If the answer is no, then it's time to graciously decline and reclaim your time. Spend that time on you. For me in the beginning, it took an average of 20 minutes to say no to somebody for reals. I had to figure out the right way to say it or find some alternative solution for them. But with time I really learned how to say no with some grace and feel good about honoring my own priorities. But it was a journey, because the truth is no one else will honor your priorities for you. It's literally your biggest job and this is part of that Next up, let's tackle the frustration of unreciprocated efforts.

Speaker 1: 11:53

Ugh, ever feel used or undervalued? Well, no more. We're gonna flip the script and invest in relationships that either uplift or support us, because remember, we teach others how to treat us by how we treat ourselves. This was actually one of the keys to me cracking open the shell of my people. Pleasing, working and giving in a vacuum is exhausting, I gotta tell ya, ain't nobody got time for that. Giving of yourself is one thing and it's a beautiful thing, but giving to a taker is flat out toxic. It walks and talks the same as any other example of giving that you can think of, but the difference here is that when your time is spent filling someone else's cup while yours lies empty, this leads real quick to some resentment, burnout and a whole bunch of other gross things that will dull your shine and it'll steal your energy and it'll take things away from you that actually are there to light you up, and it's not fair. And I'm all about personal justice.

Speaker 1: 13:00

So here's your practical application the power of the pause. Before automatically saying yes to something, just take a beat pause and assess whether or not, once again, does it align with your values? Does it align with your priorities. And if you don't wanna do the five minutes, it's just a pause in the moment. If it's like a live thing, that's just a chance for you to check in with yourself and it's a really simple act. But you'll quickly see that this pause is like a gut check and it's gonna tell you everything you know on how to proceed, because the core desire at the bottom of all this is acceptance and approval. It's something we all want.

Speaker 1: 13:41

But here's the secret, my friends True acceptance starts with you. It's about really leaning into who we are flaws and all and knowing that we're worthy of love, whether we help that friend or not. We're worthy of respect, just as we are. One thing I learned in my marriage I learned, perhaps a wee bit too late, but accept what you tolerate. If you tolerate someone taking your time and placing demands on you that don't align with your priorities, then it's going to continue. You set the stage you have to act in the play that you signed up for.

Speaker 1: 14:21

So when you set your own boundaries, knowing where your priorities lie and getting good at the art of saying no, you're now empowered to steer your life in a whole new direction, one where you've got the map, you set the schedule and you know where your efforts are best spent, because you know where you're going and you know why you're going there. And if there's an unplanned detour, sure, but only if you're up for it. This isn't about never helping others or saying no to everything. That's not the message here. It's about knowing that all you achieve is thanks to you and all you complain about is also thanks to you. So it's time to own it and observe the gaps. Make the changes start now. There's no better time. So, my lovely friends, let's wrap things up with a little reminder You're capable, you're worthy and you're deserving of all the love and happiness in the world.

Speaker 1: 15:23

Thank you so much for tuning into today's episode. If you loved it, make sure you subscribe, leave a review, share it with friends and come back for more, because on the next episode we're gonna uncover the powerful act that is forgiveness and the liberating act that is letting that shit go. So more on that next time. So be sure to come back next week and find out more on our next episode. But until then, stay fabulous, and I definitely wish you a wonderful week. I wish you a magical day. Toodaloo kangaroo man.